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Hot and cold


Erica_2

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Hi,

me & my boyfriend have been together a good few years. I have a good relationship with all of his family.

I have always felt a little awkward around his mum. She is the type who will talk about herself and not make conversation easy. She has told me that she likes me and is happy I am with her son. However lately there has been times when I have felt this awkward atmosphere, I honestly think she doesn’t like another woman being in her house. My boyfriend has said in the past that she can be “weird” about Girls that him or his brother have dated in the past. 
 

she is a jealous/insecure type as I know she has behaved this way towards her own partner. I’m just coming on to vent, as I dread seeing her at times. 
 

Has anyone had a situation like this, and you don’t know where the atmosphere comes from? 
 

Thank you 

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4 minutes ago, Erica_2 said:

 She has told me that she likes me and is happy I am with her son. However lately there has been times when I have felt this awkward atmosphere, I honestly think she doesn’t like another woman being in her house. 

She seems to like you. You've discussed it with your BF but what exactly does he mean by she gets "weird" around GFs? How often are you at her house? Does your BF still live at home? Does he share too much information about you or your relationship with her such as confide in her if you have an argument? 

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I think she often not liked previous partners of her sons.I see her every couple of weeks, my boyfriend is at home still as we are in the process of saving. My partner is closer to his dad, and we always resolve things between ourselves. For instance, last night she was friendly when we arrived, and then we ate dinner together and I could cut the atmosphere with a knife. It felt so awkward, I always offer to help out. I’m starting to think this is just how she is 

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The secret to women like that is to let them be Queen Bee & have the spotlight.  As long as you act like an acolyte in her presence, all will be fine.  Don't challenge her. Just let her do her thing but don't really give a hoot about her (never let her know that)

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2 hours ago, Erica_2 said:

and then we ate dinner together and I could cut the atmosphere with a knife. It felt so awkward,

Can you be more specific?  What exactly was going on?

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11 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Can you be more specific?  What exactly was going on?

12 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Can you be more specific?  What exactly was going on?

 

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

She seems to like you. You've discussed it with your BF but what exactly does he mean by she gets "weird" around GFs? How often are you at her house? Does your BF still live at home? Does he share too much information about you or your relationship with her such as confide in her if you have an argument? 

 

13 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Can you be more specific?  What exactly was going on?

There was an atmosphere, no warmth and no conversation from her. I felt I had to make conversation to kill the awkward feeling she was giving out (I have felt this before) I think she just lacks social skills at times

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1 hour ago, stillafool said:

Was she just not talking, or not talking to you?  Was his father talking or was there complete silence at the table?

Not talking in general, his father and mother have separated a long time ago. I get this feeling from her, and have on two occasions when her partner *Mike is there 

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34 minutes ago, Erica_2 said:

Not talking in general, his father and mother have separated a long time ago. I get this feeling from her, and have on two occasions when her partner *Mike is there 

What kind of feeling, like she's jealous?

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6 hours ago, Erica_2 said:

There was an atmosphere, no warmth and no conversation from her. I felt I had to make conversation to kill the awkward feeling she was giving out (I have felt this before) I think she just lacks social skills at times

 This is where you are wrong  She has skills, alright  She simply choses to use them to freeze others out.  

You still have to treat her like Queen Bee but kill her with kindness.  It's all you can do.  If you stay on the high road it will drive her nuts but when she gets nasty (I mean really nasty not just cold toward you) people will be on your side.  You can't out B-word her; you don't have the experience yet  She's been practicing this longer than you have been alive.  

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5 hours ago, Erica_2 said:

 I get this feeling from her, and have on two occasions when her partner *Mike is there 

Agree that going there less especially for extended times like dinner etc. would help ease tension. Try not to take it personally.

Maybe she's in a bad mood for a multitude of her own personal reasons and doesn't feel up to entertaining her sons' GFs? 

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15 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Agree that going there less especially for extended times like dinner etc. would help ease tension

I think the next time your bf invites you over there for dinner you should pass on it since his mom makes you uncomfortable.

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