My boyfriend love hearted an attractive female colleagues picture

[Goldheart12]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 months now. We have agreed to be exclusive. I’ve had issues with him looking/talking about other women in the past, calling them hot, which has set the scene for all of this.
Firstly my boyfriend has mentioned that before getting with me one of his female colleagues came to his apartment.
Not long ago, I also noticed that he was following mainly women on Instagram. I noticed on Facebook he reacted the love heart emoji to revealing pictures of women.
We had a conversation about this, and he suggested he does not like as many females pictures in future and I agreed. This was a few weeks ago, and our conversation put my anxiety to rest.
I have just been on Facebook and I have noticed that he has reacted with a love heart to an attractive female colleagues picture on a night out in a nice dress. I think it was the same colleague who came to his apartment.
When I saw it I felt quite gutted. I don't want to sound immature but it has really played on my insecurities and I wouldn't have minded a like but felt the love heart took it too far. I didn't have this level of anxiety in previous relationships. 
Is this a red flag or am I just being silly?

[ExpatInItaly]

This is not the guy for you. 

He's shown you that he is flirty, and likes looking at attractive women. You can talk to him until you are blue in the face, but it won't change who he is fundamentally is. 

45 minutes ago, Goldheart12 said:

I didn't have this level of anxiety in previous relationships

It's not worth this distess when you've only been together for 3 months. The fact that there is already an issue about this means you two are not right together.  I wouldn't bother bringing it up yet again. I would simply find a guy whose values line up more closely with yours.

[d0nnivain]

I agree with ExPat.  He's not the guy for you.  He's too flirty & you are too insecure / anxious.  Neither one of you will change so this isn't a good fit.  Again, both of you are free to behave as you like but you have to understand that your choices mean you don't work as a couple.  End this now before you make yourself crazy. 

[Gaeta]

2 hours ago, Goldheart12 said:

I don't want to sound immature but it has really played on my insecurities and I wouldn't have minded a like but felt the love heart took it too far. I didn't have this level of anxiety in previous relationships. 
Is this a red flag or am I just being silly?

Listen to your instinct ! It's telling you something is not right. His shady behavior is generating insecurity in you and that's an alarm, insecurities are not always a negative emotion they're also an alarm for us that something isn't right. Yes it is a huge red flag. He has no respect for you and for your relationship. 

Goldheart: Always have standards for yourself. A man clicking hearts at other women, following many women on social media, is not the type of man you want in your life. Please end this asap! 

[BaileyB]

3 hours ago, Goldheart12 said:

I didn't have this level of anxiety in previous relationships.

Your anxiety will decrease when you date a man who respects you and respects appropriate relationship boundaries. 

This is not your guy. 

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, Goldheart12 said:

I didn't have this level of anxiety in previous relationships. Is this a red flag or am I just being silly?

Sorry this is happening. It's only 12 weeks dating so observe and trust your instincts. How old is he? Is he insecure?

He seems to have an overactive imagination and fancies himself a ladies man with a stable of women around.  He seems too immature and insincere to bother with. 

[fishlips]

I don't see a problem with the "love heart" emoji per se, but it has only been three months and this guy continues to disrespect you. I would cut him loose and find someone who will treat you right.

[smackie9]

He's not the guy for you. Breakup with him.

[Alpacalia]

Look for a man that adores you. What you want to remember, is that you want to be with someone who doesn't intentionally cause you to feel uneasy. And if he does, he would want to make it right - not by asking you to lower your expectations - but by doing what he needs to do.

[basil67]

The first few months is the time when we should be considering if a person is right for us.  Sure, you've agreed to be exclusive, but that doesn't mean you have to stay together if you're seeing behaviour which bothers you. 

If you want a boyfriend who doesn't follow thirst traps, then go find yourself one!   

[glows]

I’m always surprised to see/hear things like this as I wonder whether individuals are aware they’re being watched or seen by family members, friends, girlfriends, spouses, employers, colleagues. It’s social media after all and if you can see it I’m sure everyone else can or many others can too. It makes so little sense why someone would shoot themselves in the foot like this so openly and expect a different outcome Ie you his girlfriend being fine with it when you showed signs of discomfort earlier. How low really is this man’s IQ? 

I don’t know if I would be as disturbed about the heart or jealous as I would be perturbed by his total lack of common sense. I’m so sorry. I think this is not going to work out.

[MsJayne]

Openly flirting with other women, because that's what it is, in front of you is behaviour designed to cause hurt. He would probably deny doing it on purpose, but he is, he most definitely is.  He's extremely insecure and looking for reassurance by trying to provoke jealousy.  Dumb**s behaviour. Three months is enough time to waste with a dumb**s. 

[smackie9]

On 11/1/2023 at 3:11 AM, Goldheart12 said:

him looking/talking about other women in the past, calling them hot, which has set the scene for all of this.
 

This is not the guy for you...in fact he's not BF material....he's a pig. Just think what he's like when you are not around. 

Edited November 9, 2023 by smackie9