Should I try to reach out to her, if yes how?

[michael10]

Hello,

I was studying at one college and I am bachelor graduate. She is still studying there and doing masters. I had other plans for this year so I am working in that city.

I noticed her like a 2 years ago and I was wondering who she is. Then more than a 1 year ago I met her at one oral exam. There were like 20 of us and we got into class for preparation. There were so many empty seats, I sat in the back, I turn my head and there you go she is right next to me.

You needed some materials for that exam ( either printed or your own notebook) to pass but instructions were that I can use teacher's PC so I brought nothing. In the end I got some strict teacher and I wouldn't be able to use teacher's PC and therefore I would leave with F. When I found out that I was thinking about leaving the class.

When she sat to me she was like : Hey, you brought nothing?

Me: No, I thought I could use teacher's PC.So we talked a bit what I am gonna do and she was like " here you go, take mine ntb". ( With my pride I would rather leave with F than ask her to borrow me her ntb lol). It was truly unbelievable gesture as she could just ctrl+f in that material and find everything needed or she could literally cheat and search for notes etc ( teacher would never find out). She was stuck with printed papers. I really appreciate what she has done for me but I've never said her how grateful I am.

So we were sitting there for hours waiting to be called, we just had small chat about exam, I didn't really wanted to talk cause I was stressed from exam. I got called, examined by teacher I got B thanks to her and I left. She was going to be examined right after me. Thinking about it now I could've waited her but I f***ed up.

It was the end of the year so I didn't meet her again, then next year we didn't share any classes together so again no chance, i just saw her at hall sometimes but she was with other people so I did nothing.

A weeks ago I met her at our graduation ceremony and it hit me again. She is so pretty, smart and her character is just great based on my observation.

I have no idea what to do. I don't go to that school anymore therefore I won't be stalking her. The only chance is to write her.

The thing is she is known by people I know and it will be quite humiliating experience if she rejects me and then talk about me with that people.

So, should I send her follow request and see if she accepts? If not, then she might not be interested i suppose. Although it's kinda weird to just send request all of a sudden. The other choice is to write her, but if write her - what should I send?

Thanks for advices

[Wiseman2]

18 minutes ago, michael10 said:

.A weeks ago I met her at our graduation ceremony.

should I send her follow request and see if she accepts? 

It's fine to send her a social media request since you're alumni from the same university. However keep it friendly and polite.

First see if she accepts that then maybe like or comment nicely on some of her content. But don't stalk or write her. Just connect as classmates for now until you get a better sense of things. 

[michael10]

1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

It's fine to send her a social media request since you're alumni from the same university. However keep it friendly and polite.

First see if she accepts that then maybe like or comment nicely on some of her content. But don't stalk or write her. Just connect as classmates for now until you get a better sense of things. 

But I am not studying there anymore so besides IG I have nowhere to see/contact her, just by huge coincidence in city 

[ExpatInItaly]

1 hour ago, michael10 said:

should I send her follow request and see if she accepts?

I would start here, yes. I don't think it would seem weird since everyone does this these days. 

If she accepts, you could strike up some small talk and take it from there. 

[basil67]

51 minutes ago, michael10 said:

But I am not studying there anymore so besides IG I have nowhere to see/contact her, just by huge coincidence in city 

So connect as former classmates.  Have you found her on IG and followed her?   Is there a boyfriend in any of her pictures?

[Alpacalia]

What have you got to lose? Someone I dated asked a friend of a friend if they could "add me" because I had my profile set the only people with my last name could do that for privacy reasons. I added, so I was curious. He sent a short friendly note, it made me smile, it took off from there.

You went to the same school, she probably has a vague idea of who you are so it isn't like she doesn't know who you are. You can mention how you two met and express your gratitude for her help during the exam.

As long as you're not pushy wooshy you'll be fine.

Friend request open the door if she wants to see what you are about. Hope it works out!

Edited November 3, 2023 by Alpacalia

[d0nnivain]

23 hours ago, michael10 said:

But I am not studying there anymore so besides IG I have nowhere to see/contact her, just by huge coincidence in city 

You are still an alumni of the university because you previously studied there.  That is your common ground.  

Find her on social media & send a friend request.  Once she accepts send a DM thanking her for her kindness in letting you use her computer.  Say something like "I don't think I ever thanked you enough for your kindness when you loaned me your computer for the ____ exam.  I got B, due to your generosity.  I am forever grateful." 

Assuming you get a positive response to that, find some event from the alumni organization or an upcoming sporting match that your alma mater is playing in, then shoot her a note saying "Hey. I'm going to [school event].  Any chance I might see you there?"    I suggest this because my university hosts watch parties where alumni get together to watch football, basketball & hockey on TV.  Hopefully she will attend with her friends.  You can chat there & if things seem promising, then ask her out.  

If she says she will not attend, then you can be more direct & ask her to meet you for coffee or a drink.  

Edited November 3, 2023 by d0nnivain

[smackie9]

Stop being insecure...if she says no, the incident is going to leave her mind in 30 seconds then go on about her day. Even if she mentions it to a friend the friend is going to think nothing of it. 

Edited November 3, 2023 by smackie9

[glows]

Another yes for encouragement reaching out in a follow request. Keep in mind not everyone is big on social media or she might have a boyfriend or doesn’t want contact. Don’t take it personally. That was very kind, what she did.

[Bassthumper]

You will never move ahead worrying about what your " friends" think. You should have went for it.

[michael10]

On 11/5/2023 at 4:58 AM, glows said:

Another yes for encouragement reaching out in a follow request. Keep in mind not everyone is big on social media or she might have a boyfriend or doesn’t want contact. Don’t take it personally. That was very kind, what she did.

 

So I've sent a request, she accepted and she didn't accept my friend like 2 months ago so it means she doesn't accept anyone/unknown people, however she doesn't follow me back and she follows like all ex-classmates, not sure if i should text her based on this when i might be literally only person she doesnt follow back lol 

[d0nnivain]

Oh good gracious.   

Social media means NOTHING.   Reach out.  Talk to the woman.  Invite her to meet.  Get a coffee/ a drink / an ice cream.  What you do doesn't matter.  Just get this to a real life interaction or give up.  If you can be real rather than virtual it's all worthless BS.