He saw my message and didn't reply

[GoodVibess]

I started talking to someone new about a week ago, we didn’t get to meet because our schedules didn’t align and he told me he wanted to hang out this week with me. I was out of town this weekend so I was unable to. I told him we could discuss plans when I came back and I texted him “Hi:)” an hour ago and he saw my message after 5 mins. I feel bummed out because I wanted to discuss plans and we had previously called on Friday. I’m not sure why he would choose to ignore me, I also noticed he unmatched me on the app recently as well. 

[Wiseman2]

8 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

 I texted him “Hi:)” an hour ago . 

Try to be a bit more patient.  After all you stalled meeting because you were busy. Why would you just text this rather than a message that requires a reply such as "I'm back in town, let me know when you want to get together"? 

Please make sure you are ready to meet including not being afraid because your photos are not recent. Were you in touch while you were away? 

Unfortunately it almost seems like you are sabotaging things and stalling meeting for some reason. Otherwise you would have already set up a meeting and sent a message to that effect. 

Edited November 7, 2023 by Wiseman2

[GoodVibess]

6 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Try to be a bit more patient.  After all you stalled meeting because you were busy. Why would you just text this rather than a message that requires a reply such as "I'm back in town, let me know when you want to get together"? 

Please make sure you are ready to meet including not being afraid because your photos are not recent. Were you in touch while you were away? 

Unfortunately it almost seems like you are sabotaging things and stalling meeting for some reason. Otherwise you would have already set up a meeting and sent a message to that effect. 

I changed my pictures and they are all recent. So this time I am not catfishing anyone. Are you suggesting me to text again? Asking when he is available to meet? And I was not in touch, there was no need to be I wanted to enjoy my time with friends.

Edited November 7, 2023 by GoodVibess

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

 Asking when he is available to meet? 

Yes send an appropriate text saying you're looking forward to getting together and when would be a good time.  “Hi:)” is  the kind of nonsense that people can easily ignore. Keep in mind you're both still talking to and meeting others so he may not even remember who you are. 

[Alpacalia]

He asked you out and you were busy. Then you message him "hi". What exactly is he supposed to do with that?

Say you're back and would love to arrange something.

[GoodVibess]

2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Yes send an appropriate text saying you're looking forward to getting together and when would be a good time.  “Hi:)” is  the kind of nonsense that people can easily ignore. Keep in mind you're both still talking to and meeting others so he may not even remember who you are. 

I will ask him but I feel he will get upset and ignore me again after he suggests a day. He has asked me out about 2 times already and I have rejected because I have other plans.

[GoodVibess]

4 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

He asked you out and you were busy. Then you message him "hi". What exactly is he supposed to do with that?

Say you're back and would love to arrange something.

Say “Hi” back, I reply when people say Hi to me I don’t see anything wrong with me greeting him.

[Wiseman2]

4 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

Say “Hi” back, I reply when people say Hi to me I don’t see anything wrong with me greeting him.

"Hi, oh hi , yeah hi," is not a conversation and certainly won't set up a meeting. Even if that's what you do with friends, this is someone you never met.  Please communicate your interest unless you just want him to go away. 

[Alpacalia]

5 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

Say “Hi” back, I reply when people say Hi to me I don’t see anything wrong with me greeting him.

Well, he unmatched you so that says it all.

I hope it's clear that the ball was in your court and you dropped it. Don't worry about it though, it takes two to match, it takes two to text and it takes two to date, so don't worry about it and don't give it a second thought and don't dwell on it.  You can't turn back the clock so just swipe again!

[GoodVibess]

2 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

Well, he unmatched you so that says it all.

I hope it's clear that the ball was in your court and you dropped it. Don't worry about it though, it takes two to match, it takes two to text and it takes two to date, so don't worry about it and don't give it a second thought and don't dwell on it.  You can't turn back the clock so just swipe again!

It appears he blocked me, the message won’t go through. 

[GoodVibess]

4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

"Hi, oh hi , yeah hi," is not a conversation and certainly won't set up a meeting. Even if that's what you do with friends, this is someone you never met.  Please communicate your interest unless you just want him to go away. 

The message won’t go through, so he blocked me. This is shocking.

[glows]

10 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

I will ask him but I feel he will get upset and ignore me again after he suggests a day. He has asked me out about 2 times already and I have rejected because I have other plans.

Then there you have it. He lost interest. In future you suggest a day that works once the first one doesn’t work with your schedule. Then stick with it. 

What were the other plans? Did you say yes and then cancel or just said no twice outright?

[Wiseman2]

20 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

. He has asked me out about 2 times already and I have rejected because I have other plans.

Please try to date more sincerely and organized. It's not surprising he blocked you after you turned him down twice then just text hi? 

 

 

Edited November 7, 2023 by Wiseman2

[GoodVibess]

1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

Please try to date more sincerely and organized. It's not surprising he blocked you after you turned him down twice then just text hi? 

 

 

So it’s my fault that I can’t meet at 10PM on the weekdays. And that I had plans this past weekend for my friends birthday. Why should I prioritize some stranger over my friend and my education?

[glows]

3 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

So it’s my fault that I can’t meet at 10PM on the weekdays. And that I had plans this past weekend for my friends birthday. Why should I prioritize some stranger over my friend and my education?

This guy wanted to meet you at 10pm? That’s not a date. It’s a booty call.

I think you dodged a bullet. Just move on - nothing was missed here.

[GoodVibess]

Just now, glows said:

This guy wanted to meet you at 10pm? That’s not a date. It’s a booty call.

I think you dodged a bullet. Just move on - nothing was missed here.

Yes, I didn’t mention but I previously asked to meet earlier in the day and he said he was never able to. He said he was only available at “night” 

[Alpacalia]

5 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

So it’s my fault that I can’t meet at 10PM on the weekdays. And that I had plans this past weekend for my friends birthday. Why should I prioritize some stranger over my friend and my education?

No, you should not be meeting someone 10pm on weekdays.

[glows]

Just now, GoodVibess said:

Yes, I didn’t mention but I previously asked to meet earlier in the day and he said he was never able to. He said he was only available at “night” 

Also on the weekend he asked to meet late at night 10pm+? The one with your friend’s bday.

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

 I can’t meet at 10PM on the weekdays. 

If you feel things are weird like a booty call, block them before they block you. If it's not a mutually convenient time, and place and you're interested, suggest an alternative.

Otherwise just skip the games rather than text hi if you feel suggesting a booty call time is insulting. 

[GoodVibess]

11 minutes ago, glows said:

Also on the weekend he asked to meet late at night 10pm+? The one with your friend’s bday.

So when we first started talking, I asked what his availability was he told me he was only available after 8PM. I told him that’s too late and I have class during the week and then we called on friday the day before I left. He told me that on saturday he was available anytime, but I went out of town for my friends bday. He said he wanted to see me this week, I told him we can discuss plans when I come back, he said that was fine and that was all. Today I noticed he was no longer on my matches and I texted him him earlier when I got home from my trip and after texting him again regarding plans he blocked me.

Edited November 7, 2023 by GoodVibess

[GoodVibess]

8 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

If you feel things are weird like a booty call, block them before they block you. If it's not a mutually convenient time, and place and you're interested, suggest an alternative.

Otherwise just skip the games rather than text hi if you feel suggesting a booty call time is insulting. 

He never mentioned sex, I genuinely thought he was just a busy person, since he has his own car wrapping business and he works full time. 

[Alpacalia]

Try not to read too much into it since you hardly know him. Meeting at 10pm is tricky, since it can imply he wants to do a "booty call". Maybe that's all he wants and now he's looking elsewhere. I wouldn't have even replied to his suggestion to meet at 10pm and let it fall off the map. Look, there's going to be women that are okay with meeting 1st dates at 10pm, and that's fine for them. It certainly makes it easier for men that are just looking for one thing. You don't have to agree with it. His reaction was harsh, but probably it's a numbers game to him and thus the ghosting.

The whole online dating thing is stupid with the block and the unmatch. Such an artifical thing, they throw away exchanging messages with someone so quickly. If you go through enough profiles, you get a sense of who just wants to message and who's serious about getting a date. Give them a little rope and they might hang themselves.

[glows]

1 minute ago, GoodVibess said:

So when we first started talking, I asked what his availability was he told me he was only available after 8PM. I told him that’s too late and I have class during the week and then we called on friday the day before I left. He said he wanted to see me this week, I told him we can discuss plans when I come back, he said that was fine and that was all. Today I noticed he was no longer on my matches and I texted him him earlier when I got home from my trip and after texting him again regarding plans he blocked me.

Oh I see. The friends bday was this weekend when you were away. I think he lost interest because he couldn’t see you at a time convenient to him. You cited a reason for no late evening dates due to school.

He may have felt this wouldn’t work due to scheduling issues. 10pm is really quite unreasonable for most and business owner or not I’m surprised he asked at all that first time. 

In the end he wrote you off quite quickly given the agreement to chat again this week or follow up for on a date. It would have been the same issue that you’re not available until the weekend if he can only meet 8pm+.

Would this have worked with someone so full already with their schedule until 8pm weekdays and weekends?? How do you go for ice cream in the afternoons or walk on the beach at sunrise? This guy is too busy to date.

[Wiseman2]

35 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

He never mentioned sex, I genuinely thought he was just a busy person, since he has his own car wrapping business and he works full time. 

Either way, it's unreasonable for a first meeting. Next. 

[basil67]

I agree that his schedule is too full for dating.  And unless you both work in hospitality/customer service with late shifts, 10pm is a ridiculous time to offer a date

That said, I also agree that "Hi" is a lacklustre greeting....I'm not sure I'd be inspired to respond to that either.   At the very least, send someone a "Hi, it's GoodVibes. I'm back from my weekend away and hoping we can arrange to meet"   Did he block you before or after you sent that message?