How to move on when it feels extremely hard?

[mymsicle]

Seeking advice.I have recently drawn boundaries with a guy that I had a situationship with for over 2 years. He and I met during the pandemic and I was just looking for something casual as I was seeing other people prior to meeting him. It was Covid time and I wasn't my best self, but he was always sweet and what we had was special. I would always tell myself that everything we had was just physical, but I'd be lying because we sort of had feelings for each other.

We finally had big moments last year and it just felt like everything was falling into place because we were crazy about each other. I'm not sure what happened early this year, but we sort of drifted apart, which obviously upset me. So, I communicated that with him, but I received a lackluster response from him indicating that he didn't want to work our issues out and he "didn't want to deal with feelings at the moment". That hurt me a lot and I stopped my contact with him afterwards but I ended it nicely.

He kept on texting me from time to time, but I was never sure what his intention was. I finally decided that I don't want to ever be following his breadcrumbs anymore and, honestly, we live on 2 different continents now so I'm not keen on trying anything out with him. I told him that I was hurt over what happened and that I didn't ever want to stay in touch with him because I know I deserve better treatment than that. So, I blocked him afterwards.

A part of me knows that I'm doing the right thing for myself and I'm actually quite proud of how I could speak up about my feelings because the big people-pleaser in me would never do so. But, there's also a part of me that kinda wishes that things didn't end up that way/he would've tried harder. I guess it's part of grieving, which is normal for any heartbreak. But, honestly, I've had breakups before (whether it's with long-term romantic relationship/FWB/situationship) but this is the hardest one to move on from and I keep on longing for him still because I really like us when we're together. I don't think I've ever felt this amount of comfort & safety with anyone before. So, that's why it's very difficult to simply forget about him or us.

A part of me has this weird feeling that we would reconnect again in the future, but I honestly don't know if that's a good idea. Or even know if that's possible considering I've blocked him lol.

I have no regrets because I think this experience has made me grow a lot as a person but I would want to really be able to move on so that I can create space for the next person who deserves me better. Any advice on how to get away from the idea that he and I still have a future together?
Thank you and much love for reading 

[Wiseman2]

35 minutes ago, mymsicle said:

 I had a situationship with for over 2 years. early this year, but we sort of drifted apart, which obviously upset me., we live on 2 different continents now so I'm not keen on trying anything out with him.

Sorry this happened. How did you meet?  Are either of you in other relationships?

How often did you see each other? How long ago did he move away?  

Was it mutually understood that this was a FWB situation?  Unfortunately often situationships don't end well with one person wanting more.

All you can do is retool your life, a bit and definitely delete and block him from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Please don't try to stay friends. It's holding you back.

Get a good profile and pics on quality paid dating apps and start talking to and meeting local available men who want what you want. 

 

[glows]

What were the issues he was referring to when he said that he didn’t want to work your issues out? His lacklustre response. 

I generally believe that in order to move forward we must know where we have made our mistakes and be honest with ourselves why something isn’t working. You have some unfinished business and haven’t closed this chapter. You seem to reminisce about your good times without reviewing what those unresolved issues were. They were important enough, big enough and significant enough for him to decide NO this is not what I want to focus on and for him to decide it’s time to walk away. It’s healthy to accept that. Really let it sink in.

He basically handed you the answer right there and also the key to finding closure. You keep telling yourself that this was a safe place and it was a good place but it was only up to a point. He chose to end it and it no longer exists. You’re living in a fantasy believing it was all good. It wasn’t to him in the end and the reality is those issues he cited were enough for him to want to move on. Don’t live in denial please continuing to believe that you both were great and could be great together again. Be realistic and accepting of another person’s final decision to move on. As you live long distance or far apart it’s not realistic either to be emotionally attached to someone in the past. It didn’t work. For xyx reasons. Keep reminding yourself of that.