Business Relationship Communication Question

[kissers13]

A company I've been employed with for four years hired a new employee who is supposed to be my backup. The problem is the new employee doesn't understand personal boundaries. I wear a headset when I am on a call and take it off when not. I have been on a call when this new employee has leaned over my cubicle and began talking to me. I can't hear her because I'm on a call so I tell her I'm on the phone. She continues trying to talk to me because I see her mouth moving, so I again tell her I'm on the phone. She continues again talking at which point I know my voice was loud and sounded gruff stating I am on the phone. She then takes it upon herself to water my plant on my day off. Upon my return, I tell her not to touch my plant. She has sent me a few emails and I cannot understand what she has written. I honestly think she is illiterate. Just recently she sent me an email and copied the Manager in the email. The writing is incomprehensive.I showed it to another coworker who said it looks like she's illiterate. Trying to decipher what is written started causing me too much stress so I blocked her email address. I have made formal complaints about the lack of respect to the manager. The Vice President had a new vendor send an email to setup a new account without notifying anyone, so I thought it was a phishing email and deleted it. He discussed the issue with me in front of this employee and said he would have them send another email. This employee sends the email that was sent to her to set up an account to me without asking. This was before I blocked her email address. I am so sick of her behavior and am at a loss. Do I have a good argument for blocking her emails? I can't even decipher what they are saying so I don't see the harm. I wish they would terminate her as her behavior is horrible and she can't even write a sentence.

[Gaeta]

So, l was wondering why you keep telling her *you're on the phone* instead of tellind her * don't talk to me when l'm on a call*, see the difference? And say it nicely maybe?

Also don't block professional emails, no matter what. Reply to her you do not understand and to clarify. When she is asked 20 times a day to clarify she'll start paying attention. 

Her supervisor will realize soon she is not qualified for the job. Meanwhile, no point to being rude to her. It's not her fault HR thought she was good for the job. She's doing her best with what she has. If you are unhappy see it with them.

I don't see someone with a terrible behavior. I see someone unqualified, and trying to be nice (watering the plants). 

[Gaeta]

Did she get a training when she was hired?

[kissers13]

22 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

So, l was wondering why you keep telling her *you're on the phone* instead of tellind her * don't talk to me when l'm on a call*, see the difference? And say it nicely maybe?

Also don't block professional emails, no matter what. Reply to her you do not understand and to clarify. When she is asked 20 times a day to clarify she'll start paying attention. 

Her supervisor will realize soon she is not qualified for the job. Meanwhile, no point to being rude to her. It's not her fault HR thought she was good for the job. She's doing her best with what she has. If you are unhappy see it with them.

I don't see someone with a terrible behavior. I see someone unqualified, and trying to be nice (watering the plants). 

When someone tells me they are on the phone that means they are talking to someone, so I really don't see the difference.  I did say it nicely until the 3rd time. Being nice is respecting someone's personal space and not overwatering their plant when they weren't asked to do so.

[kissers13]

26 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Did she get a training when she was hired?

Yes

[Gaeta]

29 minutes ago, kissers13 said:

When someone tells me they are on the phone that means they are talking to someone, so I really don't see the difference.

To her it seems there was a difference. Maybe she had a different experience like people covering their microphone and answering her. Don't assume anything. 

Co-workers come to me when I am on the phone, often they'll think I am on hold or they think they can just squeeze a couple of words while I talk to someone else. I don't tell them *I'm on the phone* because well they can see I am on the phone right?...so I tell them * I cannot talk*.

[kissers13]

3 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

To her it seems there was a difference. Maybe she had a different experience like people covering their microphone and answering her. Don't assume anything. 

Co-workers come to me when I am on the phone, often they'll think I am on hold or they think they can just squeeze a couple of words while I talk to someone else. I don't tell them *I'm on the phone* because well they can see I am on the phone right?...so I tell them * I cannot talk*.

I think it's quite obvious when you say, "I'm on the phone" that means I cannot talk because I'm talking to someone else.

[Gaeta]

35 minutes ago, kissers13 said:

Being nice is respecting someone's personal space and not overwatering their plant when they weren't asked to do so.

Are you really upset about that? Put a sticker on your flower pot do not water me. C'mon! give the girl a break and give her time to realize you're not interested in befriending her, or helping her, or guiding her. 

Who was responsible to train her?

[Gaeta]

4 minutes ago, kissers13 said:

I think it's quite obvious when you say, "I'm on the phone" that means I cannot talk because I'm talking to someone else.

NO it's NOT obvious *to everyone*.

NOT everybody thinks like you, understand cues like you do, have the same definition of personal space than you. 

It's a VERY simple principal most adult understand. 

[kissers13]

Just now, Gaeta said:

NO it's NOT obvious *to everyone*.

NOT everybody thinks like you, understand cues like you do, have the same definition of personal space than you. 

It's a VERY simple principal most adult understand. 

Why would someone say to you, "I'm on the phone" when you want to talk to them? Because they cannot talk!

[Gaeta]

6 minutes ago, kissers13 said:

Why would someone say to you, "I'm on the phone" when you want to talk to them? Because they cannot talk!

Good luck with everything. 

[MsJayne]

So this girl has somehow managed to snag a job she doesn't have the correct skill set for. I'm wondering how she got an office job if she's semi-literate, or if she's very young and only just starting out. If she's communicating with people outside of the organisation it's not such a good look as bad spelling/grammar/choice of words reflect on the company image, so maybe you should bring her attention to that, but do it kindly. The interrupting you on the phone, was this a one-off incident or is it regular? One-off is just a new person mistake, regular is an irritating behavioural problem which needs to be, (politely), addressed. I wouldn't worry about the plant-watering, she was just trying to be helpful and getting uptight about it is just petty. 

[Bassthumper]

Tell her how you feel and be honest. Beating around the bush solves nothing.

[kissers13]

7 minutes ago, MsJayne said:

So this girl has somehow managed to snag a job she doesn't have the correct skill set for. I'm wondering how she got an office job if she's semi-literate, or if she's very young and only just starting out. If she's communicating with people outside of the organisation it's not such a good look as bad spelling/grammar/choice of words reflect on the company image, so maybe you should bring her attention to that, but do it kindly. The interrupting you on the phone, was this a one-off incident or is it regular? One-off is just a new person mistake, regular is an irritating behavioural problem which needs to be, (politely), addressed. I wouldn't worry about the plant-watering, she was just trying to be helpful and getting uptight about it is just petty. 

The interrupting while on the phone has happened a few times. I was off for one day when she watered my plant. I knew something was strange when I found out she had been calling the office trying to get to know people and sent me a request to connect on LinkedIn when I hadn't even met her. She called a doctor and told him that she needed an order signed and for him to use his conscience. A week after she started, she asked me if I had anything new for her to do. I told her, "Not at this time". She started berating me by telling me not to be afraid to delegate. I was taken aback. I'm not afraid to delegate and to assume I was lying was her telling me that she must lie. I'm not being petty.  The 2nd week after she started, she approached our receptionist and asked her why she isn't cleaning the kitchen. Our receptionist told her that it was not part of her job duties. She tells our receptionist that the previous receptionist cleaned the kitchen. She wasn't even here at that time. She had no right approaching our receptionist about something that is not her business. She has issues with not respecting boundaries. Here is the latest email she sent: 

What are we to do if no we are training so if you are being give information I don’t know please keep me updated.

I have no clue what she was trying to convey nor do I care at this point. I do know I don't appreciate her unprofessional behavior and putting her nose in places where it doesn't belong. It is very embarassing to have someone who cannot write representing our company and speak to physicians in the manner she did.

[basil67]

Honestly, I read all this and want to bang your heads together.   I suspect your manager is feeling the same way.  

 

 

[MsJayne]

24 minutes ago, kissers13 said:

The interrupting while on the phone has happened a few times. I was off for one day when she watered my plant. I knew something was strange when I found out she had been calling the office trying to get to know people and sent me a request to connect on LinkedIn when I hadn't even met her. She called a doctor and told him that she needed an order signed and for him to use his conscience. A week after she started, she asked me if I had anything new for her to do. I told her, "Not at this time". She started berating me by telling me not to be afraid to delegate. I was taken aback. I'm not afraid to delegate and to assume I was lying was her telling me that she must lie. I'm not being petty.  The 2nd week after she started, she approached our receptionist and asked her why she isn't cleaning the kitchen. Our receptionist told her that it was not part of her job duties. She tells our receptionist that the previous receptionist cleaned the kitchen. She wasn't even here at that time. She had no right approaching our receptionist about something that is not her business. She has issues with not respecting boundaries. Here is the latest email she sent: 

What are we to do if no we are training so if you are being give information I don’t know please keep me updated.

I have no clue what she was trying to convey nor do I care at this point. I do know I don't appreciate her unprofessional behavior and putting her nose in places where it doesn't belong. It is very embarassing to have someone who cannot write representing our company and speak to physicians in the manner she did.

OK, you've given a bit more clarity now. You have to work right beside her so it's natural that you'll be the first to notice these things, but it won't be long before others, like the receptionist, notice she gives inappropriate input and responses. What's her job role, and how did she get the job? 

[kissers13]

9 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Honestly, I read all this and want to bang your heads together.   I suspect your manager is feeling the same way.  

 

 

I've been here 3 1/2 years and have never had a problem with anyone until she came along 6 months ago. I'm not the only one in the office who has an issue with her inappropriateness. She has now started copying the managers on her e-mails. I do A LOT for our company and was the only person who was given a raise last year. I don't think it's my head they want to bang.

[Acacia98]

3 hours ago, kissers13 said:

Why would someone say to you, "I'm on the phone" when you want to talk to them? Because they cannot talk!

Perhaps the new employee is annoying or unqualified in some ways, OP. But your attitude and part of your response to her come across as childish. 

Why on earth would you think that blocking her emails was a solution? Doesn't it just put you in a problematic position if she is required to communicate with you for work-related purposes? If her emails genuinely don't make sense, why not just set them aside after trying to read them?The reasonable thing to do is express your concerns about the emails to your superiors if they genuinely demonstrate that she is not qualified to do her job. In addition, make sure that you communication with her is clear and unambiguous (as someone else suggests above). Once you have done that, your superiors are responsible for determining the way forward.

If indeed, working with your new colleague is as trying as you say it is, your frustration is understandable. But if you're not careful about your approach to problem-solving, folks at your place of work will start thinking of you as part of the problem.

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, kissers13 said:

. I have made formal complaints about the lack of respect to the manager. He discussed the issue with me in front of this employee and said he would have them send another email. 

What were the results of your formal complaint? Is she supposed to be your assistant of some type or your replacement? The vice president doesn't seem thrilled with your performance. What was the result of that?

As far as talking to you while you're on a call or watering your plants, you spoke to her about it. That's about all you can do in addition to whatever formal complaint you submitted. 

[basil67]

28 minutes ago, kissers13 said:

I've been here 3 1/2 years and have never had a problem with anyone until she came along 6 months ago. I'm not the only one in the office who has an issue with her inappropriateness. She has now started copying the managers on her e-mails. I do A LOT for our company and was the only person who was given a raise last year. I don't think it's my head they want to bang.

Except for the gossiping about her with other coworkers and blocking her emails.  Unprofessional on your part

Edited November 8, 2023 by basil67

[NuevoYorko]

You are representing yourself as stunningly unprofessional.  

She's supposed to be your "backup"?   Does she report to you?  Whether she does or does not,  OF COURSE you cannot block her emails.  All correspondence is supposed to be in service of accomplishing the business of your employers.  This is a workplace, not your home.  

The correct way to deal with the issues you're having with your "backup" is to ask to speak to her when you are both free for a moment.  Tell her to please not speak to you when you are on a call.  Ask her to please not water your plant.  If you need to understand her emails in order to accomplish your work,  ask her to be clear with her language.

Why make a formal complaint about "respect" when you have not even tried to communicate with her appropriately yourself?

Maybe you're feeling threatened by being assigned a "backup."  Have you been falling behind in your work load?  I would tread carefully about making yourself a nuisance because of this employee.  As someone else has said,  if she is incompetent, she will not last.  On the other hand, if your superiors think she's doing a fine job and you are behaving this unprofessionally regarding her,  you might be putting a target on your own back.

[MsJayne]

1 hour ago, kissers13 said:

She has now started copying the managers on her e-mails.

I'll assume managers didn't request this, in which case it will begin to annoy them. I speak from experience having had a co-worker who would forward emails to me that I had already been CC'd into by the original sender, like I didn't already have enough email to get through each day. Then he'd forward it again with his reply 🙄. Anyway, the bright side of this is that if they read her emails they'll realise she lacks basic written communication skills. The example of her email that you gave, I would respond to that with, "Please re-send written in English". I hear why you're frustrated and why you need to vent, having to work side-by-side with a twit can cause considerable stress and make work really unpleasant. The only thing I can suggest is that you start looking over her shoulder and correcting her mistakes, but do it politely, you don't want her accusing you of bullying. I'd feel sorry for her except for the business about her telling the receptionist to clean the kitchen, so in this case I lack compassion and part of my campaign to get rid of her would be to start sweetly suggesting that she do an English language course to improve her workplace skills.

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/working-with-idiots-can-kill-you/ 

Edited November 8, 2023 by MsJayne

[d0nnivain]

You can't block her emails.  There is chance she might send you something you need. 

If the company is big enough ask if she can get some additional training around proper communication / office etiquette.  Local community colleges around me often have this training for free through grants.   By suggesting something like this with the links you will look like a problem solver & team player to the company.