Author Down44 Posted November 10, 2023 Author Share Posted November 10, 2023 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: Do you want her to "let you go". What exactly do you mean by that? You seem to be chasing her and wanting her even though she sleeps with other men in exchange for a place to stay. What exactly would you like to see happening between you two? Would you like a romantic relationship or friendship or something else? I just want to know her intentions. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted November 10, 2023 Share Posted November 10, 2023 14 hours ago, Down44 said: I met her through someone else. She was with the other person but ended up liking me. She liked me because I was nice to her without knowing it. I wasn’t doing it for her I did it out my character. Unfortunately this made her like me has a person because maybe other men aren’t nice to her. So he and her had a fall out. She had my number and called me out of desperation for a place to stay. So she threw herself on my begging me. I told her stop the nonsense. I will not use you like the other guys do for your body. Honestly I had to control my sexual urge because I vowed I wouldn’t use her for her body. She was so shocked and surprised. She couldn’t believe it. I ended up getting her ticket back home instead. She did confess to me once she loved me a few weeks ago. I was surprised and shocked. I’m not sure why you’re surprised as this person is sadly running out of options and you’re the only person who appears consistent in her life. In response to your question about her agenda, she appears exceedingly vulnerable and I mean this in the extreme. Any emotion or self described “love” coming from her should be framed with extreme caution and perhaps a football field load of salt. She deserves the respect of any human being from one to another but what she needs most is professional help , not a boyfriend or “friend” who has sexual urges towards her but practices restraint. You aren’t answering a lot of the questions anyone is asking about yourself or what you want, your living situation, the strong possibility of illegal activities coming from the fantasy of liking this “friend” so maybe you’re thinking and processing as the responses come in. I’d try to figure out what’s going on with you and why you’re stuck here fantasizing about a very unavailable woman who needs more help than guys wondering what her agenda is. It’s likely she has zero agenda. And if any agenda it’s fuelled by sheer desperation and survival instinct maybe with some drugs or substance abuse. She’s a transient it seems without a home and needs everything but what you’re offering. If she doesn’t have an answer for you that IS an answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Down44 Posted November 11, 2023 Author Share Posted November 11, 2023 (edited) 5 minutes ago, glows said: I’m not sure why you’re surprised as this person is sadly running out of options and you’re the only person who appears consistent in her life. In response to your question about her agenda, she appears exceedingly vulnerable and I mean this in the extreme. Any emotion or self described “love” coming from her should be framed with extreme caution and perhaps a football field load of salt. She deserves the respect of any human being from one to another but what she needs most is professional help , not a boyfriend or “friend” who has sexual urges towards her but practices restraint. You aren’t answering a lot of the questions anyone is asking about yourself or what you want, your living situation, the strong possibility of illegal activities coming from the fantasy of liking this “friend” so maybe you’re thinking and processing as the responses come in. I’d try to figure out what’s going on with you and why you’re stuck here fantasizing about a very unavailable woman who needs more help than guys wondering what her agenda is. It’s likely she has zero agenda. And if any agenda it’s fuelled by sheer desperation and survival instinct maybe with some drugs or substance abuse. She’s a transient it seems without a home and needs everything but what you’re offering. If she doesn’t have an answer for you that IS an answer. So you saying I should step out her life and give up on her. Why would I do that when I made my vow to her I’ll be in her life. Did I also say 6 months ago she begged me to be apart of her life and I promised her I will. Did you hear what I said I don’t fantasize about sleeping with her. I said the first day she threw herself on me but I said no. Bro I’m a man and men have to control their ❤️ and body. Some men just react with their body and don’t use their ❤️. Me I used my ❤️/values and saw where her desperation came from. Why would I want to put so much about myself here or even about her here. I put the description on top. Edited November 11, 2023 by Down44 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted November 11, 2023 Share Posted November 11, 2023 1 minute ago, Down44 said: So you saying u should step out her life and give up on her. Did you hear what I said I don’t fantasize about sleeping with her. I said the first day she threw herself on me but I said no. Bro I’m a man and men have to control their ❤️ and body. Some men just react with their body and don’t use their ❤️. Me I used my ❤️/values and saw where her desperation came from. Why would I want to put so much about myself here or even about her. Like I put the description up top. You did say earlier that you have sexual urges that you stopped and didn’t sleep with her. It seems you’re wanting to hear the answer from random strangers that she has feelings for you? To what end? She already told you what she felt so why do you distrust what she said and then come to a forum of strangers asking what might be her agenda. If you trust her you trust her. There’s none of this “what is her agenda”. The reason I say this is a fantasy is because she’s showering you with words even you don’t seem to trust. You’re spending a lot of time wondering what her motives are when you should be getting it directly from her. Have you tried asking her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Down44 Posted November 11, 2023 Author Share Posted November 11, 2023 9 minutes ago, glows said: I’m not sure why you’re surprised as this person is sadly running out of options and you’re the only person who appears consistent in her life. In response to your question about her agenda, she appears exceedingly vulnerable and I mean this in the extreme. Any emotion or self described “love” coming from her should be framed with extreme caution and perhaps a football field load of salt. She deserves the respect of any human being from one to another but what she needs most is professional help , not a boyfriend or “friend” who has sexual urges towards her but practices restraint. You aren’t answering a lot of the questions anyone is asking about yourself or what you want, your living situation, the strong possibility of illegal activities coming from the fantasy of liking this “friend” so maybe you’re thinking and processing as the responses come in. I’d try to figure out what’s going on with you and why you’re stuck here fantasizing about a very unavailable woman who needs more help than guys wondering what her agenda is. It’s likely she has zero agenda. And if any agenda it’s fuelled by sheer desperation and survival instinct maybe with some drugs or substance abuse. She’s a transient it seems without a home and needs everything but what you’re offering. If she doesn’t have an answer for you that IS an answer. Did I say that her friends don’t like me but she fought for me once telling her friends that he is a good person. Did I say she confided in me about a boy putting her down. I saw her phone messages because she gave me the phone knowing I’ll see the messages anyway but beat me to the punch and told me about it. Did I say I grabbed her hands and looked at her in the eyes and told her the most positive words. After that she deleted the guys number. I saw messages that made me cry. I notice she had low self esteem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Down44 Posted November 11, 2023 Author Share Posted November 11, 2023 3 minutes ago, glows said: You did say earlier that you have sexual urges that you stopped and didn’t sleep with her. It seems you’re wanting to hear the answer from random strangers that she has feelings for you? To what end? She already told you what she felt so why do you distrust what she said and then come to a forum of strangers asking what might be her agenda. If you trust her you trust her. There’s none of this “what is her agenda”. The reason I say this is a fantasy is because she’s showering you with words even you don’t seem to trust. You’re spending a lot of time wondering what her motives are when you should be getting it directly from her. Have you tried asking her? I asked her many times. She told once she believed I was a lifelong friend to her. A few days ago she said I’m a good ass friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted November 11, 2023 Share Posted November 11, 2023 (edited) So, you're interested in her, but you're not exactly close pals yet, and the idea of being with a sex worker comes up. There's this concern about her maybe being self-destructive, but at the same time, you're hoping for a good relationship with her? It's a bit confusing. I'm just curious about what's going on in your world that's making you care so much. If you're worried about her safety, maybe bring up the safety chat? Being just friends when one person wants more is always tricky. Usually ends up messy. My suggestion? Just be honest with her. Let her know you care, but being friends with romantic feelings isn't your thing. Just because she's a prostitute, does not mean that she is not allowed to have a platonic friendship with someone. It's very hard to be just friends with someone when they're clearly hoping for more. It will only lead to further confusion and hurt for both of you. Also, you witnessed her boyfriend being verbally and physically abusive towards her and did not intervene or say anything until after they broke up. If that was my male friend, he would have been picking his teeth up off the pavement before saying something like that again. Not that it's your business, but since this woman is your friend, did you at least seek to find out how she is doing now? Again, my advice is to either communicate your feelings honestly and respectfully, or to step back and let her be. But first you got to sort you out and ask yourself why you are so taken with being involved in a woman's life, passionately so, who engages in behavior that you seem to have some pretty strong opinions about. Edited November 11, 2023 by Alpacalia Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted November 11, 2023 Share Posted November 11, 2023 1 minute ago, Down44 said: I asked her many times. She told once she believed I was a lifelong friend to her. A few days ago she said I’m a good ass friend. Then that’s what you are: a friend. It seems she has answered your question for you. There is no other agenda. I think you’re spending time looking for additional things that aren’t there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Down44 Posted November 11, 2023 Author Share Posted November 11, 2023 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: So, you're interested in her, but you're not exactly close pals yet, and the idea of being with a sex worker comes up. There's this concern about her maybe being self-destructive, but at the same time, you're hoping for a good relationship with her? It's a bit confusing. I'm just curious about what's going on in your world that's making you care so much. If you're worried about her safety, maybe bring up the safety chat? Being just friends when one person wants more is always tricky. Usually ends up messy. My suggestion? Just be honest with her. Let her know you care, but being friends with romantic feelings isn't your thing. Just because she's a prostitute, does not mean that she is not allowed to have a platonic friendship with someone. It's very hard to be just friends with someone when they're clearly hoping for more. It will only lead to further confusion and hurt for both of you. Also, you witnessed her boyfriend being verbally and physically abusive towards her and did not intervene or say anything until after they broke up. If that was my male friend, he would have been picking his teeth up off the pavement before saying something like that again. Not that it's your business, but since this woman is your friend, did you at least seek to find out how she is doing now? Again, my advice is to either communicate your feelings honestly and respectfully, or to step back and let her be. But first you got to sort you out and ask yourself why you are so taken with being involved in a woman's life, passionately so, who engages in behavior that you seem to have some pretty strong opinions about. I saw the confrontation with her Boo. I told her the first day and she became so defensive. I told her observed him. She didn’t listen to me until a few days later she texted me and said he disrespectful. After she understood why I said it. Why I’m so want to be in her life is complicated. Stuff I can’t even say here but one reason is I see everyone give up on her. I see a girl that will one day become a woman and gain that knowledge/wisdom one day. And I can’t give up on her yet. I have hope she’ll one day gain wisdom. It doesn’t have to be now at this moment but I believe it’ll happen one day. Edited November 11, 2023 by Down44 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Down44 Posted November 11, 2023 Author Share Posted November 11, 2023 5 minutes ago, glows said: Then that’s what you are: a friend. It seems she has answered your question for you. There is no other agenda. I think you’re spending time looking for additional things that aren’t there. You are right. 🙏 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 11, 2023 Share Posted November 11, 2023 22 minutes ago, Down44 said: I just want to know her intentions. She has already explained her "intentions". She sleeps with men in exchange for a place to stay and she thinks you're her friend. What are Your intentions? "She told once she believed I was a lifelong friend to her. A few days ago she said I’m a good ass friend" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Down44 Posted November 11, 2023 Author Share Posted November 11, 2023 Just now, Wiseman2 said: She has already explained her "intentions". She sleeps with men in exchange for a place to stay and she thinks you're her friend. What are Your intentions? "She told once she believed I was a lifelong friend to her. A few days ago she said I’m a good ass friend" My intentions are good towards her. My ❤️ is pure towards her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Down44 Posted November 11, 2023 Author Share Posted November 11, 2023 2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: She has already explained her "intentions". She sleeps with men in exchange for a place to stay and she thinks you're her friend. What are Your intentions? "She told once she believed I was a lifelong friend to her. A few days ago she said I’m a good ass friend" I want to continue being her friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Down44 Posted November 11, 2023 Author Share Posted November 11, 2023 5 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: She has already explained her "intentions". She sleeps with men in exchange for a place to stay and she thinks you're her friend. What are Your intentions? "She told once she believed I was a lifelong friend to her. A few days ago she said I’m a good ass friend" I can’t really guess. Let’s see how my friendship with her goes in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
SurfCity Posted November 11, 2023 Share Posted November 11, 2023 Do you think that you have a savior complex? What is attractive to you about a homeless woman who is prostituting herself? Why are you more interested in her than in a woman who has her life together and doesn't exchange sex for a place to live? There are hot women who only have sex for love, why don't you want woman like that? Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted November 11, 2023 Share Posted November 11, 2023 1 hour ago, Down44 said: I saw the confrontation with her Boo. I told her the first day and she became so defensive. I told her observed him. She didn’t listen to me until a few days later she texted me and said he disrespectful. After she understood why I said it. Why I’m so want to be in her life is complicated. Stuff I can’t even say here but one reason is I see everyone give up on her. I see a girl that will one day become a woman and gain that knowledge/wisdom one day. And I can’t give up on her yet. I have hope she’ll one day gain wisdom. It doesn’t have to be now at this moment but I believe it’ll happen one day. Hmm. Why not, divulge, we're just strangers here. The internet never forgets, but it's rare that anyone actually remembers a particular thing anyone said even a month back! There's a bunch of us here that read most stuff and we're all just trying to help where we can. Plus, it may be helpful to you for you to 'say' and vent it out loud while looking inward also! Really we're all struggling with our own stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 11, 2023 Share Posted November 11, 2023 1 hour ago, Down44 said: I want to continue being her friend. Ok. She said you're her friend, but what do you really want to see happening? You claim you sleep in the same bed, give her massages, but she won't have sex with you despite having sex with men in exchange for a place to stay. Maybe it's time to reflect and be honest with yourself that you are hoping for more than friendship? Then you stated "she won't let you go", but you are the one pursuing this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Down44 Posted December 8, 2023 Author Share Posted December 8, 2023 Me and her have arguments sometimes. Today she vented and said life is hard for her right now. Things aren’t going well for her. She doesn’t have a roof over her head/stable/she doesn’t enjoy holidays because of not having a family/no real friends/no job/etc. She told me all this today through text message. She told me she doesn’t ❤️ anymore. I always notice she does this a lot to me. Every time I think she let me go over a fight she comes back to me. I can’t understand her. I’m confused and sad. She is my female friend not my GF. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 8, 2023 Share Posted December 8, 2023 9 minutes ago, Down44 said: She doesn’t have a roof over her head/stable/she doesn’t enjoy holidays because of not having a family/no real friends/no job/etc. Unfortunately she has some serious problems. Maybe if you have a home, she's hoping you'll invite her for the holidays so at least she's not on the street and exchanging sex for a place to stay like she has been. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Down44 Posted December 8, 2023 Author Share Posted December 8, 2023 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: Is this the prostitute that you're in love with? Female friend not GF. We never did anything before. She my friend. We just had a fight and I had to vent. Edited December 8, 2023 by Down44 More explanation 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted December 8, 2023 Share Posted December 8, 2023 33 minutes ago, Down44 said: Female friend not GF. We never did anything before. She my friend. We just had a fight and I had to vent. What was the disagreement over? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Down44 Posted December 8, 2023 Author Share Posted December 8, 2023 2 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: What was the disagreement over? Oh we had a fight over her being disloyal to people and I’m warning her that she need good people in her life. To be loyal to people. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 8, 2023 Share Posted December 8, 2023 (edited) I think we need far more background to comment. Why does she have no job, no friends, no family and no home? Why do you and she keep fighting? Edited December 8, 2023 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted December 8, 2023 Share Posted December 8, 2023 2 hours ago, Down44 said: I can’t understand her. I’m confused and sad. She is my female friend not my GF. Why are you confused and sad? And why participate in arguments? Why not just live and let live? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 8, 2023 Share Posted December 8, 2023 8 hours ago, Down44 said: we had a fight over her being disloyal to people and I’m warning her that she need good people in her life. To be loyal to people. So, reading between the lines: you were essentially telling her she needs you in her life, and needs to be loyal to you. You didn't need to say it in those words because the real meaning is clear. It is obvious you are in love with her, and you are upset and hurt she doesn't return those feelings. Let's just get real here, man. You wouldn't be trying so hard to be her White Knight otherwise. This is a very young woman with a boatload of problems. You are being naive if you believe she is going to stick around for any sort of consistent friendship. The sort of support and help she needs is way above your pay-grade, and you need to realize you aren't going to get a stable and lasting connection from her. If you choose to entangle yourself with erratic and unstable people, you are going to be disappointed again and again. Your expectations for what a friendship with her will look like are simply unrealistic. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts