need help, wife moved out and wants her space

[fredcombs]

hello everyone, this is my first time posting, last week my wife of one year said that she was unsure of her feelings for me and said that she wanted to seperate. I would like input from females and males if they have any advice on this matter. The situation is that some things that were important to her during our marriage i ignored, always seemed to busy with work or something like that and she said that she felt like we were not even married anymore. She moved out monday and i have very mixed signals about the situation. She said that she needed her time to assess her feelings for me and see if she truly loves me as she once did and that she would make the first contact. she called monday as she was moving out and then called again yesterday, saying that she needed to know where some things were at in the house when they were not hard to find. we had a good conversation last night for an hour and a half, no relatinship stuff just everyday talk. When i got back home after she moved out i found that she had left me numerous things so my place would not see empty and left a few personal items behind as well that i know that she wants. I need help on how to approach this, did she really want to move out? is this a test to see if i can change those thigns in my life that were important to her? and should i not contact her and let her contact me, it is so hard not to call or email her to let her know that i care but she said that she knows that i love her she just needs her space, what should i do, it gets harder everyday she is gone. should i invite her over for a nice dinner or just let her be for awhile, any help would be appreciated ladies

 

thank you

[firsrgthumere658]

As a male who has experienced something similar, I would always advise to let "them" be. When a woman says she needs space - give it to them >> as hard as it is and as cruels as it is when they play on this, to intrude on this space makes them think less of you and rarely gets you anywhere. If someone loves you, they will reconcile in their own time; if they don't then...

 

Good Luck - I'm ****ed... LOL :-)

[LucreziaBorgia]

My advice? Go talk to a lawyer about divorce, and arrange to hire a PI to get to the bottom of this "space" issue. Generally speaking, when someone needs "space", they need it so that they can fill it with someone else. You will have to rule that out before proceeding. Pretty much everything related to your reconciliation is contingent on whether she is seeing someone else. Find that out first, and then proceed from there.

 

Here's the thing though - you cannot let on that you are doing this. If you do, then you'll have a slim to none chance of figuring out what is really going on, because she will simply hide things from you more carefully.

[cranium]

Generally speaking, when someone needs "space", they need it so that they can fill it with someone else.

 

I agree. MW wanted "space" and wanted me to move out. I wouldn't and suggested MC instead. I discovered her ongoing A four months later. Have you two discussed counseling?

[lilmoma1973]

I agree. MW wanted "space" and wanted me to move out. I wouldn't and suggested MC instead. I discovered her ongoing A four months later. Have you two discussed counseling?

 

I also agree with this !! Usually someone don't leave a relationship unless there is a reason !! Needing space makes me think let me go so i can be with someon else and keep u in the wing incase things don't work out !! Get to a marriage counselor to see why she wants this space to see if it is anything there to work through!! Good luck

[scobro]

I agree too 90% of the time there is someone else involved or waiting on the sidelines for the person to emotionally or physically leave the marriage.My wife said there was nobody else both times she left and both times there was someone else in the picture in some way.