ikonik Posted November 12, 2023 Share Posted November 12, 2023 (edited) I met this girl a few months ago and I slid into her dm's. i responded to one of her stories that said "best friend in the world something something" I don't remember the rest, I responded "Thanks" jokingly. but she got the hint and asked did I know how old she was, I said no, she said my mohter's age, I respond with a gif saying age ain't nothing but a number, she sent laughing emoji. that convo pretty much ended there, but I why I kept talking to her, I thought she might've been interested, because in one of her IG stories she said "I thought I nabbed thor but when he shaves he looks like peewee herman." I'm 99% sure it was referring to m rsince that describes me. for this reason i was sure she was interested. I kept dm'ing her hoping to keep things alive until we were able to hang. at one point she even jokingly asked me i was going to ask her for dinner, it was on her birthday so i let it go. any other time it would be [messed] up thing to do. today i asked her out, and she pretty much responded with the same ' do u even know how old i am' the convo was pretty much word for word. but i think i'm going to stop talking to her since, there doesn't anywhere for me to go at this point. sorry for the long read, my question is is she playing games or am i reading into it too much? Edited November 13, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted November 12, 2023 Share Posted November 12, 2023 She is flattered by the attention of a younger man but she is not interested. When she says things like *do you even know my age* why don't you ask her her age? If she is not interested then respect her wish. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ikonik Posted November 12, 2023 Author Share Posted November 12, 2023 6 minutes ago, Gaeta said: She is flattered by the attention of a younger man but she is not interested. When she says things like *do you even know my age* why don't you ask her her age? If she is not interested then respect her wish. i said i didn't know her age when she asked that Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted November 12, 2023 Share Posted November 12, 2023 I was approached by a 18-19 year old not too long ago and he asked for my Instagram. I was like, I don't have Instagram and you're sweet but not interested in 18 year olds. Based on this scenario, it seems like the girl is not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you. She has made it clear that she is much older than you and is not interested in dating someone significantly younger. She was just being playful and flirty in her interactions with you, but when you asked her out, she reiterated her stance on the age difference. It is best to respect her boundaries and move on, as it does not seem like she is playing games. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ikonik Posted November 12, 2023 Author Share Posted November 12, 2023 (edited) 8 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: I was approached by a 18-19 year old not too long ago and he asked for my Instagram. I was like, I don't have Instagram and you're sweet but not interested in 18 year olds. Based on this scenario, it seems like the girl is not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you. She has made it clear that she is much older than you and is not interested in dating someone significantly younger. She was just being playful and flirty in her interactions with you, but when you asked her out, she reiterated her stance on the age difference. It is best to respect her boundaries and move on, as it does not seem like she is playing games. she made it sound like she's way older than me by asking that i think. i'm 36 and she's just under 50 i think. ten year's difference? in any event there' no room for me to continue pursuing.. Edited November 12, 2023 by ikonik Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 6 minutes ago, ikonik said: she made it sound like she's way older than me by asking that i think. i'm 36 and she's just under 50 i think. tn year's difference? in any event there' no room for me to continue pursuing.. Yes, that's not much difference, but for whatever reason she isn't interested. Don't get me wrong. Some women are often interested in guys who are persistent. But I really get the impression she's just trying to let you down gently. Why don't you like women closer to your own age? Not that there's anything inappropriate about that. I'm just wondering if you're more comfortable with someone at a different stage/maturity level in their life. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 59 minutes ago, ikonik said: today i asked her out, and she pretty much responded with the same ' do u even know how old i am' the convo was pretty much word for word. but i think i'm going to stop talking to her since, there doesn't anywhere for me . Yes, it seems like she's bored and a timewaster. Please consider quality paid dating apps instead of browsing social media sliding into DMs randomly. Start talking to and meeting local available single women interested in meeting and dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ikonik Posted November 13, 2023 Author Share Posted November 13, 2023 3 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: Yes, that's not much difference, but for whatever reason she isn't interested. Don't get me wrong. Some women are often interested in guys who are persistent. But I really get the impression she's just trying to let you down gently. Why don't you like women closer to your own age? Not that there's anything inappropriate about that. I'm just wondering if you're more comfortable with someone at a different stage/maturity level in their life. i was just attracted to her, i have no preference for age Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 22 minutes ago, ikonik said: i was just attracted to her, i have no preference for age Okay, so you met, contacted her and it didn't go anywhere. Good on you for trying :). Don't read into it too much, cause if she was interested, she would've accepted your invite. Don't waste time trying to decipher someone's intentions or feelings if they are not making an effort to keep the conversation going or make plans with you. Sometimes things just don't work out with certain people. Good luck! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 (edited) 34 minutes ago, ikonik said: Is she testing me? Sounds more like teasing. She likes the attention and since you initiated the contact, she just played with it. She's not interested in anything except killing time online. Has nothing to do with age. Timewasters come in all varieties. Edited November 13, 2023 by Wiseman2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 When she commented on your age, that was a clear No. At that point you should have been when you dropped it and walked away. She is not testing you, she's humouring you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 1 hour ago, ikonik said: i'm 36 and she's just under 50 i think *you think* us not enough. Ask her her age. When i was 55 people thought l was 45. She may be in her 60s for all you know. Link to post Share on other sites
SurfCity Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 2 hours ago, ikonik said: and asked did I know how old she was, I said no, she said my mohter's age, I respond with a gif saying age ain't nothing but a number, she sent laughing emoji. that convo pretty much ended there Did you literally say no and nothing else? Did you ever tell her your age? She may think that you're 25 or 28 which she could consider to be too much of an age difference, but if she knew you were only 10 yrs younger she might take you seriously. I would wait a little bit to ask her out again and keep in contact in the meantime, but be sure you find a way to tell her your real age in a natural way during that time. Then wait a little bit and ask her out one last time. If she says no, ok fine, but at least you'll know that she didn’t say no because of some confusion about your ages. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ikonik Posted November 13, 2023 Author Share Posted November 13, 2023 8 minutes ago, SurfCity said: Did you literally say no and nothing else? Did you ever tell her your age? She may think that you're 25 or 28 which she could consider to be too much of an age difference, but if she knew you were only 10 yrs younger she might take you seriously. I would wait a little bit to ask her out again and keep in contact in the meantime, but be sure you find a way to tell her your real age in a natural way during that time. Then wait a little bit and ask her out one last time. If she says no, ok fine, but at least you'll know that she didn’t say no because of some confusion about your ages. i posted an IG story that had my age on it and she saw it but I never told her directly Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 No, I don’t think she’s testing you. She’s not interested. You did ask her out and she didn’t respond which is your answer. She deflected your question because she’s not interested in seeing you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SurfCity Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 (edited) 7 hours ago, ikonik said: i posted an IG story that had my age on it and she saw it but I never told her directly Give it a little more time. When she brings up age again say that you're no baby and that you're only 4 years away from 40. Tell her that you've always loved sophisticated women and that the last time you dated a woman your age or younger was your high school prom or when you were young and dumb. (Only say that if it's true) If she asks you what you're looking for say a relationship and that you've never been fussed about having kids...if kids happen, it happens, but if it never happened you would be fine. (Only say that if it's true.) I think that she needs a little more time to see that you're for real. She might think that you're playing games, so keep in contact with her so that she knows your interest in her is real and then ask her out one last time. Edited November 13, 2023 by SurfCity Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 13 hours ago, ikonik said: she made it sound like she's way older than me by asking that i think. i'm 36 and she's just under 50 i think. ten year's difference? in any event there' no room for me to continue pursuing.. She said your mother's age. Was your mom 10 when she had you? You should have said 63? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 (edited) 15 hours ago, ikonik said: . i'm 36 and she's just under 50 i think. in any event there' no room for me to continue pursuing.. Exactly. She's not interested regardless of your or her age. Please consider more successful and satisfactory ways to try to date than scanning social media for pics to like and sliding into DMs. As you can see, she's not interested. At least on dating apps, people are looking to date not just find Internet friends and chat buddies. Edited November 13, 2023 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 (edited) I'm curious, when you say you "met this girl a few months ago" does that mean you met her in real life, then messaged her? Because if you rando-dm'd her without ever meeting her in person, that's… well, that's revealing. At best, it would mean that you're crushin' hard on her digital projection to the point where of course she's going to message back, she's being civil and polite and showing some basic manners. Maybe there's something there for her, and she's trying to get a read on what constitutes polite reply to a perfect stranger she's not sure isn't going to try to murder her in a back alley off Sweepstakesville. Assuming you met her, I think that saying "age ain't nothing but a number" to someone whose age you don't know is...a bit dicey. Sure, some people don't care much about a age difference, but most people do. I can't imagine how old she is, but she clearly seems to be in a mindset that "I'm a little older than him and that's a potential game-breaker." She even brought it up not once, but twice. Sure, she might be flattered, but she also may just clearly be trying to see how old you are and if you're worth discussing further. I don't know if that's playing games, any more than anyone who is screening potential mates. Most folks are just trying to avoid letting the wrong one in, worrying about catastrophic consequences. She definitely seemed unsure about your intentions and the age difference. Edited November 13, 2023 by Alpacalia Link to post Share on other sites
Author ikonik Posted November 13, 2023 Author Share Posted November 13, 2023 3 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: I'm curious, when you say you "met this girl a few months ago" does that mean you met her in real life, then messaged her? Because if you rando-dm'd her without ever meeting her in person, that's… well, that's revealing. At best, it would mean that you're crushin' hard on her digital projection to the point where of course she's going to message back, she's being civil and polite and showing some basic manners. Maybe there's something there for her, and she's trying to get a read on what constitutes polite reply to a perfect stranger she's not sure isn't going to try to murder her in a back alley off Sweepstakesville. Assuming you met her, I think that saying "age ain't nothing but a number" to someone whose age you don't know is...a bit dicey. Sure, some people don't care much about a age difference, but most people do. I can't imagine how old she is, but she clearly seems to be in a mindset that "I'm a little older than him and that's a potential game-breaker." She even brought it up not once, but twice. Sure, she might be flattered, but she also may just clearly be trying to see how old you are and if you're worth discussing further. I don't know if that's playing games, any more than anyone who is screening potential mates. Most folks are just trying to avoid letting the wrong one in, worrying about catastrophic consequences. She definitely seemed unsure about your intentions and the age difference. I know her in real life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ikonik Posted November 13, 2023 Author Share Posted November 13, 2023 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: Exactly. She's not interested regardless of your or her age. Please consider more successful and satisfactory ways to try to date than scanning social media for pics to like and sliding into DMs. As you can see, she's not interested. At least on dating apps, people are looking to date not just find Internet friends and chat buddies. I know her in real life... Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 56 minutes ago, ikonik said: I know her in real life... How old does she look to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ikonik Posted November 13, 2023 Author Share Posted November 13, 2023 18 minutes ago, stillafool said: How old does she look to you? I guess around her age? Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 (edited) 18 hours ago, ikonik said: i was just attracted to her, i have no preference for age Can you take the traits you found attractive in her and use in criteria while dating Go deeper here and figure out what attracted you, know yourself better and then use what you know about yourself to your advantages while dating. Start with available women. Then mutual attraction etc etc Edited November 13, 2023 by glows 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 13, 2023 Share Posted November 13, 2023 2 hours ago, ikonik said: I know her in real life. Do you work together? How do you know her in real life? Do you still see each other? Link to post Share on other sites
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