So why am I becoming attracted to fat/older men in my thirties?

[basil67]

6 hours ago, Inmy30s said:

It's not non-stop sexual thoughts. No. In the cases of the people I've been attracted to actually. Usually I have sexual thoughts. That are reoccurring. They can reoccur through a day. Or a week or however it works. And then I have sexual dreams too. As long as I've been around them enough of the day. Basically that's what my mind is saying what I want to do with them. Which I already know. That part isn't an issue. I'm used to that I'm very aware of it. I've been that way since I was 12. That's my sexuality. My thing was the sexual interest in men I'm not attracted to. These thoughts were not racing. Nor non-stop. More so actually a little small drip basically. 

So it's not 'non stop sexual thoughts'.  It's not a fetish out of control.  Just the occasional sexy thought about someone who you previously wouldn't have found sexually attractive.

I'm really not seeing a problem.

[stillafool]

Also I will add, you're getting older now.  You will be attracted to men less attractive than the ones you were attracted to when you were younger.  With age, this happens.

[basil67]

5 hours ago, Inmy30s said:

If you are turning 30. Does one's interest change?

People's interests can change at any age.  Or not change at all.  There is no rule

[Krobus]

As a fat older man myself naturally I think you’ve simply developed better taste in men OP! 😂👍

[Sony12]

Honestly not seeing what the big deal here is and it does just sound like a bit of a sexual fetish (and a rather mild sexual fetish at that). You say you are 30 and like having sex with men who aren't the same age as you------well welcome to the dating culture of 2023. There are women in there 60's and 70's having sex with men twenty to thirty years younger than them. And honestly not sure why you are making a big deal about being attracted to men who aren't your normal preferred body type........as that happens all the time as well also and sometimes we just like who we like.

Why are you making a big deal about this anyways. One of those 65 year old ladies who are currently going down on someone younger than their kid would probably listen to your story and have a little chuckle.

 

 

[smackie9]

Yes it's your age...you are experiencing different levels of hormones, you are in a different time in your life, you are not the 20 year old you were, you are maturing....so as we all go through life, what we liked at 20, won't always apply at age 30 or 40 etc. Your needs and wants, desires will change/evolve throughout your life. Perfectly normal.

[Inmy30s]

On 11/20/2023 at 1:16 PM, basil67 said:

So it's not 'non stop sexual thoughts'.  It's not a fetish out of control.  Just the occasional sexy thought about someone who you previously wouldn't have found sexually attractive.

I'm really not seeing a problem.

For me it's a social issue. Thank God where I work it's dead. That no one has to work with anyone that much anyway. And we don't have to hire anyone. Like literally we haven't hired anyone since like july? That guy is such a crackhead dang it now you would think that would do something for me. But it doesn't. He's just not my type. But yeah my whole point is that if I were to work at a place that's not a ghost town. And not a dying industry basically I want one fine if there's more business too interact with more people that would cause issue. And three have more social problems. You know if I were feminine brained I could choose an industry that are mainly just females. Which could back a firearm a real bad. And one regard. But it would definitely minimize it if it was female-centered. But yeah for me it's just like in my older jobs that I've had it was mainly not interacting with people. And now I'm finally interacting with people. And that is problematic. Even though it's like in reality when I was younger it wasn't an issue. Because I was a lot more direct in my preference. Basically my preference was a smaller I think section and now I think maybe coming closer to 30 thanks seem to have changed a little. But we'll see. If I go back to my big city. I've been out of the big city for a year and a half. Which is pretty much since I was 28. So maybe I'll be different honestly if I were to work in an environment with mostly people of Asian or African descent. I wouldn't have an issue either. Because for me personally I'm just not really attracted to people who are of other ethnicities. My mom actually wants to move to granada. And I was thinking of following her there. It's just I don't know about moving to another city. I hate moving to other cities because it feels so different. I remember when I was in Las vegas. For about a year I wouldn't even come out of my house I was too scared of the city. LOL

[Inmy30s]

On 11/20/2023 at 1:32 PM, stillafool said:

Also I will add, you're getting older now.  You will be attracted to men less attractive than the ones you were attracted to when you were younger.  With age, this happens.

It's not like I'm not attracted to the people I'm normally attracted to though. Like last spring. I had this I guess feeling you could say with this one guy. Was younger than me actually. But you're still not young enough for me. And that went really poorly for me. Like in reality I have always tried to experiment with guys in the upper twenties. Which like 3 weeks ago that was literally my age. I just turned 30 and every time I experiment with guys or in their upper twenties it's not very pleasant. But my experiences with guys who are like in their early twenties upper teens. This is my preference generally. Which is why I was pointing out that particular thing about the one at the job currently. Was very weird. Because yeah I don't generally find old people attractive. Not like it matters. It's just weird. I think it's just an energy or something like that. I do go off of energy. I definitely do go off of energy really deeply. But I generally pay attention to energy when someone is like 18 19 20 21 22 23 24. Those are my age preferences that age range right there. I mean it is cool. To go up in age. As I get older. Cuz it just seems very weird if you reach 40 and you're still attracted to people who are 20. And I guess that makes sense that it would have situations where it's like incidentally Maybe very much older. And then maybe more of the 30s. I already know about the 30s like I said I've been attracted to men who are in their thirties. But I've never tried to experiment with men in their 30s only upper 20s which havent been good for me generally. Thats why I say weird behavior to a man probably twice my age is just odd and unexplainable but it's probably I think the whole I like bad people thing. In fact someone I know said they were in prison at one point so yeah anyhow I thankfully dont habe to deal with much of it though

[Inmy30s]

On 11/21/2023 at 4:40 AM, Sony12 said:

Honestly not seeing what the big deal here is and it does just sound like a bit of a sexual fetish (and a rather mild sexual fetish at that). You say you are 30 and like having sex with men who aren't the same age as you------well welcome to the dating culture of 2023. There are women in there 60's and 70's having sex with men twenty to thirty years younger than them. And honestly not sure why you are making a big deal about being attracted to men who aren't your normal preferred body type........as that happens all the time as well also and sometimes we just like who we like.

Why are you making a big deal about this anyways. One of those 65 year old ladies who are currently going down on someone younger than their kid would probably listen to your story and have a little chuckle.

 

 

But my normal type it's about in the early twenties skinny tall. Usually Latin or white. That's generally my preference. Things that deviate from that are all it to me a bit. When it comes to like very old or very fat. Or very ethnically maybe would be why its concerning a bit

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, Inmy30s said:

I already know about the 30s like I said I've been attracted to men who are in their thirties. 

If you know what type you're attracted to why not try dating apps? This way you could select the age range and see profiles and pics of men and could start talking to and meeting men you're attracted to. 

Do you feel pressured to date now that you've turned 30? Or is your mother/family pressuring you to settle down or find someone? 

Edited December 1, 2023 by Wiseman2

[stillafool]

7 hours ago, Inmy30s said:

But I generally pay attention to energy when someone is like 18 19 20 21 22 23 24. Those are my age preferences that age range right there. I mean it is cool. To go up in age. As I get older. Cuz it just seems very weird if you reach 40 and you're still attracted to people who are 20.

Well also as you age (turning 30) guys in their 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 may no longer be interested in dating you.  30 is old to them.

[Inmy30s]

2 hours ago, stillafool said:

Well also as you age (turning 30) guys in their 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 may no longer be interested in dating you.  30 is old to them.

No I'm biracial. I already explained that I am attracted to white people I dont age the same as the people I'm attracted to I still cant go to a casino without getting carded because people tend to think I'm 16-19 age range some think I'm early 20s especially if I'm not wearing make up. For example black females in my family generally look 25 but there mid fourties or hitting 50. Black and biracial women we dont usually age unless we do drugs or something. Ive never done drugs in my life so I dont age. Race and people are product of their environment. But the thing is with black americans. We're not in our environment. To technically we're not aging. Because we're not in that environment that usually ages us properly. Namely africa. Which has more sun. Literally just had a kid come up to me at my job and ask how old do you have to be to work here.... Thinking I'd know because apparently to them I was that young. We had a black woman who worked here too who was almost 50 and she to looked around late 20s or thirty. It is what it is.

[Inmy30s]

3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

If you know what type you're attracted to why not try dating apps? This way you could select the age range and see profiles and pics of men and could start talking to and meeting men you're attracted to. 

Do you feel pressured to date now that you've turned 30? Or is your mother/family pressuring you to settle down or find someone? 

I generally do that I generally do date. I was just going. I don't usually have an interest or attraction in people that don't get the category so I just explained. That's all but yeah I have been dating. And it's not going badly.

[Alpacalia]

21 minutes ago, Inmy30s said:

That's all but yeah I have been dating. And it's not going badly.

Any new men on the horizon that are rubenesque/older? 

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, Inmy30s said:

No I'm biracial. I already explained that I am attracted to white people I dont age the same as the people I'm attracted to I still cant go to a casino without getting carded because people tend to think I'm 16-19 age range some think I'm early 20s especially if I'm not wearing make up. For example black females in my family generally look 25 but there mid fourties or hitting 50. Black and biracial women we dont usually age unless we do drugs or something. Ive never done drugs in my life so I dont age. Race and people are product of their environment. But the thing is with black americans. We're not in our environment. To technically we're not aging. Because we're not in that environment that usually ages us properly. Namely africa. Which has more sun. Literally just had a kid come up to me at my job and ask how old do you have to be to work here.... Thinking I'd know because apparently to them I was that young. We had a black woman who worked here too who was almost 50 and she to looked around late 20s or thirty. It is what it is.

I'm black also and it doesn't matter how young you look you can't change your age and will be judged by it.  Black people age just like everyone else, so don't count on that.  Besides you are not only black, you're biracial.

Edited December 1, 2023 by stillafool

[Inmy30s]

4 hours ago, stillafool said:

I'm black also and it doesn't matter how young you look you can't change your age and will be judged by it.  Black people age just like everyone else, so don't count on that.  Besides you are not only black, you're biracial.

I'm 30 now and I am still treated like a teen also apparently studies have shown bone loss is delayed ergo why black women look younger so not just age for that matter its lucky but yea generally I defineitely attracted young men

[Inmy30s]

5 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

Any new men on the horizon that are rubenesque/older? 

No like I said on dating apps I usually and put my age range around 18 to 24 sometimes I lift it to 30. I go on a lot of different dates with guys. It's pretty cool. Like I said sexually it seems I've always been more viable with guys who are younger. Then those closer to my age like the upper 20s. Women get into their upper 20s they tend to think all people have pretty much similar bodies. Especially like the assumptions about women. Thinking like all women like big parts. All women can handle big parts. Like you know. They'll say all the things they experience with their past women and say that it should work for me. Even though I'm not that woman. The amount of experience they have they have some experience. But I guess not enough of a variety. So they don't really understand. Well younger man it's always like they're more likely to listen it seems like for me. And I can more so dominate them. Which I like dominating so

[Inmy30s]

But I'm going out on a date tonight so wish me luck

[Alpacalia]

21 minutes ago, Inmy30s said:

No like I said on dating apps I usually and put my age range around 18 to 24 sometimes I lift it to 30. I go on a lot of different dates with guys. It's pretty cool. Like I said sexually it seems I've always been more viable with guys who are younger. Then those closer to my age like the upper 20s. Women get into their upper 20s they tend to think all people have pretty much similar bodies. Especially like the assumptions about women. Thinking like all women like big parts. All women can handle big parts. Like you know. They'll say all the things they experience with their past women and say that it should work for me. Even though I'm not that woman. The amount of experience they have they have some experience. But I guess not enough of a variety. So they don't really understand. Well younger man it's always like they're more likely to listen it seems like for me. And I can more so dominate them. Which I like dominating so

Oh.. Okay Thanks for being honest.

They're usually not afraid to express their desires either. Where older guys sometimes are more reserved in that aspect. But again it just depends on the person.

Have fun on your date. 🎅

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Inmy30s said:

 on dating apps I usually and put my age range around 18 to 24 sometimes I lift it to 30.

Have fun on your date. People lie about age on dating apps to date younger people and get more dates, nothing new about that. But it's unfortunately common and has nothing to do with race.