What is the right amount to spend on your BF for Christmas?

[Alvi]

So, after reading another post yesterday on here about a Christmas gift I have talked to my BF about what to get him for the holiday. We have been dating for 11 month, seeing each other 3-4 times a week. I am very unimaginative about gifting gifts, never know what to get. So, I either ask people what to give them or just give them cash. I don't celebrate X-mas but my bf is a Christian and so I asked him what he wants to get. Anyway, we talked and settled to spend around a $100 dollars.  I am going to buy him an Amazon card and he is going to get me a gift certificate from my favorite clothing store at the Mall. Not very romantic, lol, but oh well.

But I've been thinking if that's enough. I know, a hundred dollars is not that much to give, but at the other hand,  I don't want to get an anything expensive. Neither would I want to splurge but only get something like a cheap candle or such. 

P.S. Last year, he got me a box of chocolate and I got him a shaving set.  He got me a small china figurine (?) for my B-day last year and I got him a gift card.

I am just wondering what do you usually give your partners and how much do you spend on the b-day and holiday gifts? Do you actually discuss a gift beforehand? Were there times where you spend a lot more on your partner (and vise versa) than he or she spend on you? And if so, was there any awkwardness or perhaps a dealbreaker? 

[Alvi]

Opps, I meant, we are dating for 13 month, not 11 if it makes any difference.

[Wiseman2]

34 minutes ago, Alvi said:

. Last year, he got me a box of chocolate and I got him a shaving set.  He got me a small china figurine (?) for my B-day last year and I got him a gift card.

This seems fine. It's nice you're spending the holiday with him even though it's not something you personally celebrate.  That may be the best gift of all.

[Ami1uwant]

52 minutes ago, Alvi said:

Opps, I meant, we are dating for 13 month, not 11 if it makes any difference.

gift giving is pretty universal concept.
 

Over a year you should have an idea about his hobbies and interest.

you can buy tickets to something he wants to do/ see.

you know his style of clothing.

 

do you do artsy things? Coukd make him something?  Did you travel together someplace? Do you have future vacation plans to go some place?

[Gaeta]

$100 is plenty for a gift.  

Last Christmas:  because my boyfriend never wants to let me pay when we go out  l thought l will offer him big gifts to show him my appreciation. Well, it made him a bit uncomfortable so l won't be doing that again. 

My bf is not christian, and like @Wiseman2said, the fact he spends Christmas with me in my family means the world to me! I'm sure your boyfriend appreciates your openness and it's a gift in itself.

Edited November 22, 2023 by Gaeta

[Alpacalia]

There's always the option to forgo gifts and treat yourselves to a couples spa retreat or treat yourselves to a nice, fancy dinner.

Alternatively, you could plan a romantic weekend getaway or do something fun and adventurous together like going on a hot air balloon ride or tickets to a concert or theater show.

[basil67]

My daughter has been with her boyfriend also for about 18months.  While we do have a Xmas lunch (with no religious aspect), she objects to all the consumerism and waste of Christmas, so she's not big on gifts.  Her boyfriend is from a Buddhist family and he didn't know how to do Christmas when they met.  So they talked about it and settled on a small but thoughtful token for each other.  About $50 

All in all, if you think there's any chance that someone will feel like they over or underspent, it's best to talk about it.  That said, if neither of you is big on gifts, @Alpacalia 's idea is perfect

Edited November 22, 2023 by basil67

[d0nnivain]

10 hours ago, Alvi said:

I am just wondering what do you usually give your partners and how much do you spend on the b-day and holiday gifts? Do you actually discuss a gift beforehand? Were there times where you spend a lot more on your partner (and vise versa) than he or she spend on you? And if so, was there any awkwardness or perhaps a dealbreaker? 

Your plan to spend $100 is fine.  You haven't been together a year & he's a BF.  Don't play "keeping up with the Jones."  Never spend more than you can afford. 

My DH is hard to buy for & he doesn't give the best gifts.  Early on in our relationship he bought me clothes from the women's section of the store:  think polyester, elastic waist bands, very matronly just . . no.   So now we exchange lists on Thanksgiving night because I like to shop on black Friday.  Each person has to write down 10 things & the other picks 2-3 to give so there is a small element of surprise.  

Mostly BFs  & DH & I have been fairly even.  Especially for a 1st Christmas, I always raised the conversation & talked about amounts / limits in advance because I didn't want to there to be the awkward disparity.   

One year DH violated the parameters big time & I felt awful.  We took a very expensive 2 week trip over the holidays & agreed that would be our gift to each other but because I like opening presents, we also planned to do Christmas Stockings for each other: 3 gifts, total value of stocking not to exceed $100.   We did that but the next day he took me to my favorite jewelry store where I expected to buy myself earrings & he upgraded the diamond in my engagement ring.  I spent the next several months doing acts of service (his love language) to thank him for his generosity.  

[Goodguy05]

On 11/22/2023 at 11:45 AM, Alvi said:

So, after reading another post yesterday on here about a Christmas gift I have talked to my BF about what to get him for the holiday. We have been dating for 11 month, seeing each other 3-4 times a week. I am very unimaginative about gifting gifts, never know what to get. So, I either ask people what to give them or just give them cash. I don't celebrate X-mas but my bf is a Christian and so I asked him what he wants to get. Anyway, we talked and settled to spend around a $100 dollars.  I am going to buy him an Amazon card and he is going to get me a gift certificate from my favorite clothing store at the Mall. Not very romantic, lol, but oh well.

But I've been thinking if that's enough. I know, a hundred dollars is not that much to give, but at the other hand,  I don't want to get an anything expensive. Neither would I want to splurge but only get something like a cheap candle or such. 

P.S. Last year, he got me a box of chocolate and I got him a shaving set.  He got me a small china figurine (?) for my B-day last year and I got him a gift card.

I am just wondering what do you usually give your partners and how much do you spend on the b-day and holiday gifts? Do you actually discuss a gift beforehand? Were there times where you spend a lot more on your partner (and vise versa) than he or she spend on you? And if so, was there any awkwardness or perhaps a dealbreaker? 

I don't think it's about the amount of money you spend. I think it's the thought that counts. So think of something they like or they're into or interested in and go from there.