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nuhn123

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Why do free dating apps feel like pay to play mobile games. Are most of these attractive women bots. I talk to them for awhile and it seems like I have their attention, but as soon as I'm hooked it's time to pay. Any advice.

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Get a good profile and pics on quality PAID relationship focused dating apps. Paid apps tend to have more serious daters and better screening and matching tools. Some even require photo ID. 

Paid apps tend to be 50-50 rather than 75+% male and filled with escorts and scammers like free apps. 

Join some groups and clubs, volunteer, get involved in sports and fitness, take some classes and courses, broaden your social horizons and make new friends and talk to women. 

Hanging out in bars and clubs isn't that successful. 

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Get involved in groups that do things you are interested in.  Then you will meet people who you have something in common with

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There are some limiting factors such as living with parents or roommates, no drivers license or car, juggling other responsibilities such as young children, employment, marital status, beliefs or religion. The people closest to you might be able to tell you right away if your expectations are realistic for ie.

We’ve also seen a lot of individuals come to the forums so attracted to a particular type that just isn’t relationship material. For ie, pursuing unavailable people or people who just aren’t looking for the same thing.

If you tell us more about yourself or what specific issues you’re having such as not being able to get past the first or second date, what you’re looking for or any other issues we can try to be your sounding board.

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Without knowing much about you it’s hard to advice.

 

generally you go through…church, hobby/ interest social groups, activity group like a running club snd just network snd meet people..not look at it as trying to find dates.

 

with dating sites…unsure what you have even tried to do.

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As someone who spent 14 years on dating sites mostly paid ones I can tell you that if you are matching people you find attractive then you have won 95% of the battle because in the time I was on OLD I can count on two hands how often that happened to me!

I suspect you need to work on the conversational part of the interaction, what happens when you match. Remember attractive people have choices, you want to make yourself that particular persons 1st choice.

 

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Be the best you can be...make friends/have a social group to hang out with, find activities that involves hanging out with people like playing tennis, play on a sports team, volunteering, join a club, be fit mind and body....get out into the community, be a part of something. There you will meet someone that is like minded, and enjoys the same things as you do.

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On 11/22/2023 at 6:11 PM, nuhn123 said:

I haven't been on a date or even been with anyone in some time, along time. I've tried bars, dating sites, church. Any advice?

Make yourself as attractive as possible. It's easier said than done, but if you can pull it off the women will be chasing YOU rather than the other way around.

Attraction for women has more what you might call a psychological basis than the more physical basis it has for men. In particular confidence and independence as well as social skills. However, a nice haircut, grooming, and nice clothes aren't going to hurt. Body language including gait and posture are important to some women as well.

You could consider reading the chapters on female attraction in the book "A Billion Wicked Thoughts" as it goes into more detail on what attracts women and how they operate generally. If you can "operationalize" some of what's in there, it might go a long way towards helping you.

Edited by mark clemson
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On 11/22/2023 at 6:11 PM, nuhn123 said:

I haven't been on a date or even been with anyone in some time, along time. I've tried bars, dating sites, church. Any advice?

My friend met her husband online, for free, and they have been happily married for over 10 years.

I have heard of other success stories from friends who have met their significant others on free dating apps like Tinder and Bumble. It sounds like there are a lot of attractive women on these apps, and it's easy to feel like you have to compete for their attention. But free or not free dating apps are just a tool for meeting people, not the only way to find a potential partner. You have to use it wisely and disconnect when it's not serving your best interests.

Be mindful of your time, be selective, and don't buy into the upgrade hype. Yes, there are features on these apps that you can only access if you pay for an upgrade. But remember, these features are not necessary for finding a potential partner. As for the issue of attractive women being bots, it is possible. There have been reports of fake profiles on dating apps, especially on apps where users have to pay to interact with others. These bots or fake profiles are created to entice users into paying for upgrades or to redirect them to other sites.

My advice is to not get too caught up in the "game" of online dating. Use the app to connect with people, get to know them, and see if there's a potential for a real-life connection. And if you find yourself constantly feeling the pressure to pay for upgrades or feeling discouraged by attractive women, take a break and come back to it with a refreshed mindset.

The app is just a tool. The real connections and love happen in the real world.

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Your mistake is you "talk to them a while" on the dating sites.

That's not what effective online dating is all about.

You exchange a few messages, you maybe get on the phone first, either way you set up that first meeting within a week of the first communication.

If they're interested and they're legit, then it will happen. If not, you're wasting your time.

 

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