What to say to potential girlfriend?

[1_T]

I said 'I enjoy using OkCupid. I see you like watching movies on your profile, what type of movies do you like to watch?"

She said "Comedy , adventures, romance etc Hbu ?"

My current draft of what I would say is "Comedy, action, fantasy, etc. What movies have you watched"

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, 1_T said:

She said "Comedy , adventures, romance etc Hbu ?"

After a few messages please suggest meeting for a brief coffee/drink at a mutually convenient time place date.  Preferably in the next week or so.  

It's ok to warm up a bit with chitchat, but why not ask what her favorite foods, types of places, etc. are or something you can segue into asking her out in a timely fashion.

[glows]

Instead of discussion on movies, I think it’s better to just cut to the chase and ask if the other person would like to go for a drink/walk/coffee. The premise is their profiles are coherent, substantial and there’s an obvious match in terms of enough in common and numerous things that pique your interests. I would not pay attention to profiles that aren’t thoughtful. 

What was the rest of her profile like?

Edited November 23, 2023 by glows

[1_T]

16 hours ago, glows said:

Instead of discussion on movies, I think it’s better to just cut to the chase and ask if the other person would like to go for a drink/walk/coffee. The premise is their profiles are coherent, substantial and there’s an obvious match in terms of enough in common and numerous things that pique your interests. I would not pay attention to profiles that aren’t thoughtful. 

What was the rest of her profile like?

The rest of her profile seems fine.

 

[MsJayne]

You both like comedy movies. Ask her if she'd like to go see one with you while the topic of movies is fresh.  

[1_T]

She said

"We can eat brunch

Do you have any recommendation ?

Or dim sum"

What should I say?

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, 1_T said:

She said"We can eat brunch. Do you have any recommendation ?Or dim sum"What should I say?

She's asking you out!  Tell her either is fine and you're looking forward to meeting her. Ask her to pick a place she likes and tell her you'll meet her there. Ask her what time and date. 

[glows]

6 minutes ago, 1_T said:

She said

"We can eat brunch

Do you have any recommendation ?

Or dim sum"

What should I say?

Obviously dim sum first and then all day breakfast.

Do you like any of these suggestions? I once suggested brunch and it was rejected because it was too early. I laugh now thinking about it. 

[basil67]

3 hours ago, 1_T said:

She said

"We can eat brunch

Do you have any recommendation ?

Or dim sum"

What should I say?

What do you want to say?   

[1_T]

She said "

[sent link to restaurant]

Can you read Chinese ?

This.

Maybe like 12:30?

Or this

[sent link to second restaurant]

"

If I say this, "I prefer to meet at Sarabeth's rather than the dim sum restaurant and 12:30pm is fine with me." is it fine? I also can't read Chinese so should I tell her since she asked? If I tell her I can't read Chinese what do I say literally?

Edited November 27, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
remove hyperlink

[Wiseman2]

7 minutes ago, 1_T said:

 "I prefer to meet at Sarabeth's rather than the dim sum restaurant and 12:30pm is fine with me." 

That's a great response. Follow up and confirm the day before. Whether you read Chinese is irrelevant, she was simply suggesting a place to meet so that's good. 

[basil67]

I agree that your response is great.   If someone messaged me asking if I read Chinese, I'd simply say "sorry, I don't read Chinese"

[glows]

5 hours ago, 1_T said:

She said "

[sent link to restaurant]

Can you read Chinese ?

This.

Maybe like 12:30?

Or this

[sent link to second restaurant]

"

If I say this, "I prefer to meet at Sarabeth's rather than the dim sum restaurant and 12:30pm is fine with me." is it fine? I also can't read Chinese so should I tell her since she asked? If I tell her I can't read Chinese what do I say literally?

Just say you can’t read Chinese but (insert your response) and are looking forward to seeing her soon! Hope it all goes well.

[1_T]

She said "339 Greenwich st

This location"

So she said the address of Sarabeth's, which is the meeting address of the date, so what do I say?

 

 

[Wiseman2]

23 minutes ago, 1_T said:

So she said the address of Sarabeth's, which is the meeting address of the date, so what do I say?

"Great,  looking forward to seeing you there on (day) at (time)" 

[glows]

1 hour ago, 1_T said:

She said "339 Greenwich st

This location"

So she said the address of Sarabeth's, which is the meeting address of the date, so what do I say?

 

 

If you still want to go then say sure, meet you there. What’s causing this hesitation? 

[Alpacalia]

I'm not sure how I feel about these questions. A guy I dated once would ask me things like "what are your top 3 favorite things to do" and "what makes you feel alive?" I felt like these were thought-provoking and showed that he was genuinely interested in getting to know me on a deeper level. But at the same time , I also remember feeling a little put on the spot and uncomfortable when I couldn't come up with immediate answers. hehe

[d0nnivain]

Go.  Enjoy the meal & the company.  Be prepared to pick up the check but understand she may prefer separate checks.   If you like her that can be your cue to say "next one is on me." 

See how the conversation goes.  At this early stage you are merely screening to determine if you want a 2nd date.  You can absolutely decide you never want to see her again; as she can reject you but don't put more pressure on the situation then is a next date in order.  At best, you can wonder (to yourself, not aloud yet) whether there is potential for a New Years' Eve date.  Take it slow.  Be cautious.  Be interested but not overly invested; on a 1st date it's always good to let the other person prove to you that they are worthy of your time & attention.  

You are dating in the greatest city in the world.  If you like her after this brunch, get in touch & plan a 2nd date.  Seeing the Tree & grabbing a hot chocolate at Bryant Park or going inside the library might be a great active but low cost 2nd date.    If you love Sarabeth's that much you can tour the City by going to the other locations.  

Talk about things that interest you.  How did you end up in the city?  What do you both do for work?  Where did you go to school?  The questions Alpacalia suggested are awesome.  There are sites that can give you lists of conversations starters.   Really listen when she talks.  Don't feel like you have to fill every moment with words.  Silence can be nice.  Observe her but don't stare!  Be flirty.  

Dress nicely for the date:  jeans are fine but wear shoes not sneakers.  Wear a button down or a sweater not just a sweatshirt.  Use your company manners that would make grandma proud.  

Good luck.  Let us know how it goes.