Should There Be Texting Before the First Date Other Than to Arrange the Date?

[Stfrg]

I met this girl a few days ago out of the blue and we hit it off. I asked for her number and she gave it to me right away and I asked her when she was free to go out. She told me she was leaving that next day to go on a trip for the weekend but we could get together next week once she gets back. We texted back and forth a little that evening flirting and then I was left on read if you'd call it that since I didn't ask a question it was more of a statement. Anyways, I was wondering at what point I should reach out to ask what her availability is for next week. Should I leave her alone during her trip or would it be acceptable to reach out while she is out of town? 

[Goodguy05]

Leave it for a few days until she gets back text her when she's back and not the day she gets back lol let her unwind from her trip then follow up with a date suggestion 

[Wiseman2]

30 minutes ago, Stfrg said:

. She told me she was leaving that next day to go on a trip for the weekend but we could get together next week 

Stay in light touch but try to set something up for when she gets back. Lay back while she's away.

[Gaeta]

Yes keep in touch once or twice but don't go in chitchat mode. Just say hello and you hope all is well and you're looking forward to her return. She might want to chitchat on her down time then follow her lead.

[Alvi]

There is no harm staying in touch. I mean,  she might interpret that you are not interested if you don't stay in touch. Don't go overboard with messaging but ask her how her trip is going once or twice. She is only gone for the weekend, two day, so it's not too long of a time. You can ask her when she is free to meet any time, really.  You can totally set up a day and time to meet while she is away. 

[ZA Dater]

In my experience the level of contact is quite important, too much contact and you come across as very needy and when you meet someone you find attractive the net result is you want to chat to them as much as possible, in my opinion the problem with text chatting is there is not body language involved so what I would do is keep minimal contact and then try schedule something when she is back.

What I have learnt is absolutely nothing is the same as having the person in front of you and talking to them, texts can be interpreted in my different ways and some people go into analysis paralysis.

[basil67]

Of course you are only half of the equation!  She may be very keen to stay in contact with you.  Or she may want to lay low till it's time to plan the date. 

So while you may have an idea for what you consider to be the right amount of contact, you may find that she has other ideas.  She might be keen to be in contact and you give limited responses, she may think you're not interested.   So have a rough plan (not a rule). Stay flexible

[d0nnivain]

Some people need that constant being in touch thing or they wrongly assume the other person is not interested.  I wouldn't expect long conversations but reaching out once or twice to say you hope she enjoyed her Thanksgiving; that you hope she's enjoying her weekend away or to wish her safe travels home would be appropriate.   Leaving her on read & going silent the whole time she's gone may give her the wrong impression.  But don't bombard her or expect to be the center of her attention.   

[Alpacalia]

You text when the person is on your mind and something prompts you.

Don’t play games.

If you are genuinely interested in getting to know this girl, there’s no harm in sending a text while she’s on her trip. Just remember to be respectful of her time and space, and don’t bombard her with messages while she’s away.

Cause here's how it's going to go, when you use your best judgment and go with what feels natural to you, you're going to feel much more confident and authentic.

And if she happens to not respond, you haven't invested too much energy or time yet, and you're not going to feel as disappointed as you could have if you put too much focus on what is actually way too little.

[glows]

On 11/23/2023 at 4:39 PM, Stfrg said:

We texted back and forth a little that evening flirting and then I was left on read if you'd call it that since I didn't ask a question it was more of a statement. Anyways, I was wondering at what point I should reach out to ask what her availability is for next week. Should I leave her alone during her trip or would it be acceptable to reach out while she is out of town? 

I’d wait till she returns to finalize the details for any plans this coming week. 

She should have given you a more thought out alternative and not just left you on read after flirting with the texts. 

Light chatting is fine but seeing if there is mutual attraction/compatibility on the first meet up is really the priority. 

[FredEire]

In general I'd say just light chit chat, sharing small things about your life. No stress about not talking the odd day. It's fairly meaningless when you haven't even met someone yet. But you don't want to go completely radio silent or it shows a lack of interest.

Something I've improved on a lot is not overthinking it in the initial stages. If she's texting back quickly, do the same. Deciding to wait exactly 25.4 minutes to reply to look less available is going to do nothing other than coming across as tryhard.

Edited December 5, 2023 by FredEire

[CaliforniaGirl]

Maybe a little. Leave the longer talk for face-to-face. Let her wonder about you.