FredEire Posted December 4, 2023 Share Posted December 4, 2023 8 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: I disagree with one of the disagreements. ☺️ At the end of a first date I wasn't feeling it. I stayed a bit longer (albeit, not in the restaurant, we spent 20 minutes or so next to our respective vehicles outside chatting after our dinner dare and there was a 5% chance I needed to give it a bit more time). Ended up liking the guy in the end A LOT. The conclusion is really logical but not correct as you could also plausibly say she just finished her lunch and needed to catch her bus. Maybe she ate some bad fajitas and her stomach is telling her it's nap time. Could also be that 20 minutes and lunch was enough to determine it just wasn’t there and saw no point in 5 hours of a date when they already gathered they weren’t compatible. It is what it is. It's just a first date. Sure, I think that's all fair haha. But you said it yourself in the first line, you weren't feeling it that particular day. All I'm saying is I don't think it's a particularly good sign if someone doesn't want to hang around, in general. But there's a million reasons it could happen and you can't draw too many conclusions from a first date unless it goes horribly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted December 4, 2023 Share Posted December 4, 2023 14 hours ago, Darkages said: For quitted in 5 minutes I meant after we leave the restaurant. So it's not even 5 minutes after you paid, but 5 minutes after you LEFT the restaurant?! Seriously, what are you even expecting here? If you need someone to dedicate 6 hours of their day to you the first time they meet you in exchange for payment, maybe purchasing girlfriend-experience sessions with professionals would be more up your alley? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted December 4, 2023 Share Posted December 4, 2023 Or you know. Make plans in advance of the date that certain things very well might happen. If all you talked about was dinner no reason to be upset if they choose to leave after dinner. Link to post Share on other sites
Calmandfocused Posted December 4, 2023 Share Posted December 4, 2023 I’m trying to piece together what happened here, taking into account my own past experiences. Personally I think the vibe got weird. And because the vibe got weird she wanted to leave. Why, and for what reason, I’ve no idea, but I do think something weirded her out. Why do I think that? Well, yes her wanting to go home would be a clue, but the biggest red flag to me was her behaviour on the way to the bus stop. Not talking, not paying attention to you, or barely looking at you (I’m assuming the latter) is a clear indicator that someone wants to get away asap. The fact that she didn’t want you knowing her bus route also tells me that she felt uncomfortable with you knowing this information. Can you think of anything that may have happened/ been said at the end of the date that could have made her feel uncomfortable op? Obviously I may be completely wrong but I’d be interested to hear what the op comes back with on this one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted December 4, 2023 Share Posted December 4, 2023 (edited) 7 hours ago, FredEire said: All I'm saying is I don't think it's a particularly good sign if someone doesn't want to hang around, in general. But there's a million reasons it could happen and you can't draw too many conclusions from a first date unless it goes horribly. Yes, indeed! Edited December 4, 2023 by Alpacalia Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 4, 2023 Share Posted December 4, 2023 7 hours ago, FredEire said: But there's a million reasons it could happen and you can't draw too many conclusions from a first date unless it goes horribly. She might have needed to poop 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted December 4, 2023 Share Posted December 4, 2023 8 minutes ago, basil67 said: She might have needed to poop Indeed 😂 Either way OP hasn't said anything about what happened afterwards and their text exchange etc which is probably far more important in terms of judging her interest level 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted December 6, 2023 Share Posted December 6, 2023 (edited) I don't think it's a vibe thing are any of that hokey poop. She walked with you and then had a bite to eat some people aren't always 100% in after the first date. Need some time to digest the date and after that she may be up for a second date. Chill and just wait give her a call again an ask her out again. if she makes a really big deal about it or stands you up then let it go. If she accepts then breathe a sigh of relief. Edited December 6, 2023 by Alpacalia Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted December 6, 2023 Share Posted December 6, 2023 (edited) 17 hours ago, Alpacalia said: I don't think it's a vibe thing are any of that hokey poop. She walked with you and then had a bite to eat some people aren't always 100% in after the first date. Need some time to digest the date and after that she may be up for a second date. Chill and just wait give her a call again an ask her out again. if she makes a really big deal about it or stands you up then let it go. If she accepts then breathe a sigh of relief. What's funny are the ones who have a thirty minute make out session with you and then afterwards mention the line that they didn't feel the chemistry. That has happened a couple times with me. Edited December 6, 2023 by Sony12 Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted December 6, 2023 Share Posted December 6, 2023 12 minutes ago, Sony12 said: What's funny are the ones who have a thirty minute make out session with you and then afterwards mention the line that they didn't feel the chemistry. That has happened a couple times with me. I think it's happened to most people a couple of times. I had a date a while ago like that where we were both leaving the country for opposite sides of the planet in a couple of weeks, so anything other than short term fun really wasnt possible. It went well and we were making out for ages, then she suddenly told me she wasn't born yesterday and left not long after 🤷 People are weird, it's hard to second guess sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted December 6, 2023 Share Posted December 6, 2023 2 hours ago, Sony12 said: What's funny are the ones who have a thirty minute make out session with you and then afterwards mention the line that they didn't feel the chemistry. That has happened a couple times with me. I think usually, something has happened to turn the person off when they say that. Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted December 6, 2023 Share Posted December 6, 2023 2 hours ago, FredEire said: I think it's happened to most people a couple of times. I had a date a while ago like that where we were both leaving the country for opposite sides of the planet in a couple of weeks, so anything other than short term fun really wasnt possible. It went well and we were making out for ages, then she suddenly told me she wasn't born yesterday and left not long after 🤷 People are weird, it's hard to second guess sometimes. Yep. As the term 'chemistry' can mean several different things. People usually associates it with physical attraction but it can have different meanings. Now if someone locked lips with you for an extended period of time and then said they weren't attracted to you that would be a bit of a head scratcher. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted December 6, 2023 Share Posted December 6, 2023 5 hours ago, Sony12 said: What's funny are the ones who have a thirty minute make out session with you and then afterwards mention the line that they didn't feel the chemistry. That has happened a couple times with me. Yeah. Sometimes people get caught up in the moment and lose sight of their true feelings. It can be frustrating, but also kind of comical in a way. It's like, "Wait, you just spent half an hour making out with me and now you don't feel a spark? What just happened?" It takes more than just a steamy make out session to build a meaningful connection with someone. You're feeling really into the moment and then suddenly you feel like you've gotten hit by a reality check. It's a reminder that chemistry isn't just about physical attraction, but also emotional compatibility. And sometimes, it's just not there.... 😬😉 Link to post Share on other sites
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