confused heart Posted July 5, 2001 Share Posted July 5, 2001 There's a guy (let's call him John), he flirted with me and another girl (let's call her Jill) for a year and led us both on. Well, Jill has liked him for 3 years and i barely met him this year. Well at the end of the year he was running out of time to choose and said he felt obligated to date her since she had wanted him for so long, but John and I had so much in common. Well, i asked him why a couple of weeks later and he said he really liked me. Well we flirted some more. Now i'm hearing from all my friends that he's planning to ask me out. Of course i was excited but now i'm thinking that i should and shouldnt accept. Why i shouldnt: Jill's heart will be broken it's just not fair, it's hard to get over someone, i've been in her place and know how much it hurts and it's not fair at all. I'm afraid he might be too "fast", might want too much too soon and right now i'm only prepared to kiss alot and thats it, and i dont think thats all he wants, i dont know for sure, but still. He flirts alot! I'm sure he'll still flirt alot while being with me and i'm bad with jealousy. i'm not big and fat but i dont have hard abs and i'm not in the shape i'd like to be i want him to be able to like me physically aswell. Why i should: I really like being with him and just holding his hand and being in his arms. We do have alot in common. I want to tell him to wait a year (like i had to!)to deal with Jill, who knows they might end up working out, and give me time to clear my thoughts. Then by then I'll be better mentally and physically and it's like that song "What a girl wants" by Christina Aquilera there is a line where she says "if you love something, let it go, if it comes back, it's shows, thats how you know it's for keeps......." i just feel thats what i should do, am i doing something right or is this wrong? Does anyone have any advice or a different suggestion? Thank you so much Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 5, 2001 Share Posted July 5, 2001 That line about letting love go and coming back, etc. has nothing to do with your situation. You aren't even dating yet. Timing is very important. You may only get one chance. He may never pass your way again. No telling where either one of you will be in life in a year. In a year you may gain 20 more pounds and be even less willing to have him get involved with you. Don't worry about your friend. After liking him for three whole years and him not asking her out, she ought to get the message by now that he's not interested in anything more than flirting with her. Go out with the guy and enjoy yourself. And stop worrying about how fast he'll want to take things. You control that. If all you want to do is kiss, then just keep it there. My Gawd, you haven't even gone out yet...give the guy a chance. Link to post Share on other sites
sparkle Posted July 5, 2001 Share Posted July 5, 2001 I say go for it. Yeah Jill may be sad about it for a little bit but so will every other girl who likes the same guy you like, for as long as you live. But like most normal people, she will get over it. If you like this guy then go for it. Just make sure you move along at YOUR own pace...which you feel comfortable with. If it seems like he is moving too fast, then slow down and take a step back. And remember, YOU are in control of any situation you put yourself into. YOU are in control of how fast or slow you want things to progress. YOU are in control of your feelings. About not having the hard abs that you desire, it's okay. That doesn't matter. Just come across as confident and positive, because everyone loves being with positive people. I read an article a while ago which said something along the lines of..."She carried herself -and her extra weight, I might add- with a supremely confident air. She couldn't have cared less what anyone thought. If you liked the way she looked, great. If you didn't, so what?" And this is what will attract a person. So whether you're not as toned up or have as flat of a stomach as Christina Aguilera does, it doesn't make a difference. It's all about how you carry yourself. And about your jealousy problem, get over it. No guy likes a girlfriend who is too jealous or who doesn't trust him. Good luck with this guy! Link to post Share on other sites
confused heart Posted July 7, 2001 Share Posted July 7, 2001 I just want to say thank you, u guys are soooooo great i really like this place, u really upped my self esteem and soothed my doubts, i just hopr he'll take me back, i've been ignoring his attempts to communicate w/ me lately but anyways, thanks sooooo much! Link to post Share on other sites
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