Female friend over reacting?

[MartynH]

I have a female friend who has fallen out with me. I shared a picture with her ( as well as 10 other people). It was just a funny tattoo that someone had done. After she received the picture she said I was a chav, I left my IQ in a country I had recently travelled too and I was weird. I shared this tattoo picture with my friends because I thought it was funny and we all had a laugh but I feel she has over reacted. We always got on really well before this and messaged nearly every day.

 

How should I deal with this. Should I just leave her alone?

[basil67]

Without more information, I'm going to guess that she's long grown out of whatever style of humour you and your mates share.  I can't comment on whether she may have over reacted without knowing what the image was.  

 

Edited December 6, 2023 by basil67

[d0nnivain]

Women & men don't always share the same sense of humor.  If the tattoo was bawdy she may have been offended.   You may be able to apologize for being insensitive.  

[Wiseman2]

22 minutes ago, MartynH said:

 she said I was a chav, I left my IQ in a country I had recently travelled too and I was weird. 

How long have you been friends? How old is she? This is a bit extreme. Does she know you sent it to a bunch of people or did she think it was some sort of "message" to her personally? Was the tattoo lewd, sexist or off color? Did you ever find out what she found so offensive about it? 

Edited December 6, 2023 by Wiseman2

[MartynH]

8 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

How long have you been friends? How old is she? This is a bit extreme. Does she know you sent it to a bunch of people or did she think it was some sort of "message" to her personally? Was the tattoo lewd, sexist or off color? Did you ever find out what she found so offensive about it? 

We have known each other since kids. It was a bit lewd and off colour but I've known her years. She never told me the problem.

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, MartynH said:

We have known each other since kids. It was a bit lewd and off colour but I've known her years. 

Maybe she was offended or felt is was too sexual?  Or directed at her in some way? Is this the same woman?:

 

[MartynH]

7 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Maybe she was offended or felt is was too sexual?  Or directed at her in some way? Is this the same woman?:

 

It is, yes. This fallout actually happened before she blocked and unfriended me and then added me back again. But i'm wracking my brain trying to figure out what I did wrong.

[basil67]

13 minutes ago, MartynH said:

But i'm wracking my brain trying to figure out what I did wrong.

Quite possibly it was too much childish behaviour and she's grown out of it

What did the image depict?

[Wiseman2]

9 minutes ago, MartynH said:

It is, yes. This fallout actually happened before she blocked and unfriended me and then added me back again. But i'm wracking my brain trying to figure out what I did wrong.

This explains why she unfriended and blocked you. Even though sending her smut wasn't mentioned in that thread. She probably doesn't appreciate locker room humor. (Few women do).

And since you were chatting too much with a married woman with kids, sending sexual/sexist/lewd content is inappropriate.

She was over the top in her criticism of you personally but just apologize saying you didn't mean to offend. 

[Alpacalia]

5 hours ago, MartynH said:

After she received the picture she said I was a chav

What's a chav?

[basil67]

2 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

What's a chav?

It's British.  A young person of a type characterized by coarse and brash behaviour (with connotations of low social status).

[glows]

Was this a group chat? I’m having a hard time how you spent time texting the same 1 photo to 10 different people. Most would have just ignored or blocked you if it was so dumb. At least you know what she thinks. 

For the record I laugh at dumb tattoos too. As someone who is tattooed quite a bit it’s that much more painful seeing someone messed up like that. I feel so bad but can’t help also feeling their pain if it makes sense. The irony is what makes me laugh even though it’s not that funny.

[MsJayne]

5 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

What's a chav?

The British equivalent of a redneck, in Australia they're called bogans. 

[MsJayne]

What's the image of? Without knowing that no one her can really say whether they think  she over-reacted or not.

[Wiseman2]

15 hours ago, MartynH said:

 i'm wracking my brain trying to figure out what I did wrong.

You sent lewd sexist offensive material to a married woman. Maybe your pals thought it was hilarious but apparently she didn't.  

 

[d0nnivain]

This image may have helped clarify for her that being friends with you was destructive to her marriage.  

[Wiseman2]

12 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

What's a chav?

British slang for lout. "an uncouth and aggressive man or boy"

[spiderowl]

On 12/7/2023 at 2:28 PM, Wiseman2 said:

British slang for lout. "an uncouth and aggressive man or boy"

That's part of it.  It can also refer to a woman too.  It's basically someone of a low class who behaves in an uncouth manner.  It's probably the opposite of 'classy'.

[ShaneF]

Hey,

I have known this friend who is female since school. She reconnected with me and started messaging me early everyday for nearly a year and occasionally called me. She did this using Facebook messenger. She is married with children which I respected.

One day we were having a casual chat about all sorts and then out of nowhere she said “ i’m not doing this anymore”. I asked what and she said “ Talking on messenger, we are not on the same wavelength”. This was totally random. She wouldn’t explain what she was talking about. Especially the part about being on the same wavelength because we have been speaking everyday for a long time and always got on really well.

Anyway she unfriended and blocked me which really confused me! Two days later she re-added me and started messaging me again. I told her that I didn’t appreciate her cryptic behaviour and randomly falling out with me without explanation and she apologized.

One night she wanted to ring me and 12:30pm at night and I was just ready for bed. She called and we spoke to a while and she hung up on me half way through a very casual conversation about holidays etc. She deleted Facebook and messenger but she has my phone number. I am baffled what to make of all this. She did say in the past she doesn’t want to talk by text or whatsapp which I don’t understand because she was fine messaging and calling nearly everyday on messenger.

What do you make of this?

[Lisa]

@ShaneF and @MartynH are the same member

[Wiseman2]

33 minutes ago, ShaneF said:

I have known this friend who is female since school. She reconnected with me and started messaging me early everyday for nearly a year  .out of nowhere she said “ i’m not doing this anymore”. I asked what and she said “ Talking on messenger, we are not on the same wavelength”. 

She seemed offended by your lewd humor and doesn't want to keep chatting. She's married with children so she doesn't have as  much time for this as you do. Step back and perhaps for the New Year get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting single available local women.