JazzMan1999 Posted December 9, 2023 Share Posted December 9, 2023 She had recently received bad news regarding a rediagnosis of her health. She further has had a lot of bad relationships prior and has a lot of personal issues that she's battling. She said to me that she really does love me, and that cannot be disputed. As we put the phone down, we said "I love you" to each other. Our relationship was very respectful and we didn't fight, but just had a brief disagreement here and there but there was a lot of trust, love and purity between us. She said that she's scared that what she termed a "perfect" relationship would go south, as per her previous relationships. I pleaded with her, but she was upfront with me that it wasn't going to work. She sadly said that she feels like she just isn't ready. She feels like the weight of her health and her problems will prevent her from giving her all of her to me. She emphasized that she is undergoing therapy and she realised during her therapy that she wasn't as ready as she though she was. She also realised that I intimidate her. Not in a bad way, but in that I through merely being myself demand her to improve herself and to change her perspective on a lot of things. She conceded to the fact that she doesn't handle her own conflicts well and has a bad habit of getting cold feet. She is still studying (we're both in the same field), but has been so delayed by her illness, whereas I'm fortunate enough to be working. She's very passionate and insecure about her education. She really wants things to go well in that regard and is scared that I'd judge her for not passing. It must be emphasized that we just accidentally fell in love (we only met for study/work purposes). It was a super seamless process. Hence she was perhaps not as ready, given her illness earlier in the year and a bad relationship experience in the beginning of the year. She still on the day of the separation questioned if she was making the right choice, and said that her family will be very upset as they really loved us a pair. The last in person conversation we had is when she said I am sorry for doing this to you (she was demonstrably saddened). I insisted that she need not apologise as she had to make a tough, adult decision that I respect. After that she messaged me and said thank you for meaning so much to me and for everything you did for me. Concluding that our memories cannot be erased and she values them. We agreed that maybe we'd meet up again one day. I'm healing. I've been working very hard on myself, we haven't spoken in 6 days and I've been strong regarding no-contact. I am getting fit and I am working on my moving on process by meeting with friends etc. It's frustrating because we did have a lot of love between us, but things happened that were just out of my control. What to do from here? Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted December 9, 2023 Share Posted December 9, 2023 There's nothing you can do except respect her choice. She needs space and she can't deal with the pressure of a relationship right now. Staying no-contact is best. If she decides to give it another try with you at some point in the future, she knows where to find you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 9, 2023 Share Posted December 9, 2023 Sorry this is happening. She seems terribly stressed by her illness. You're doing all the right things but unfortunately she just needs space to herself and admitted she's not ready willing or able to pursue a relationship right now. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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