fred123 Posted December 9, 2023 Share Posted December 9, 2023 I asked a girl to a wedding next year as a plus one and she's left me on read for 24 hrs. Normally we text most days. Not a good sign? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 9, 2023 Share Posted December 9, 2023 No, it's not a good sign. Given that you talk frequently, it's strange that she didn't come back with a reason/excuse. Who initiates most of the chats you have with her? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 9, 2023 Share Posted December 9, 2023 (edited) 58 minutes ago, fred123 said: I asked a girl to a wedding next year as a plus one and she's left me on read for 24 hrs. Are you dating? Maybe she's not glued to her phone or thinking about it. Will you be together next year? It's a lot to ask if you're not in a relationship. Edited December 9, 2023 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted December 10, 2023 Author Share Posted December 10, 2023 47 minutes ago, basil67 said: No, it's not a good sign. Given that you talk frequently, it's strange that she didn't come back with a reason/excuse. Who initiates most of the chats you have with her? She does. I think I offended her by asking her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted December 10, 2023 Author Share Posted December 10, 2023 40 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Are you dating? Maybe she's not glued to her phone or thinking about it. Will you be together next year? It's a lot to ask if you're not in a relationship. Yes but I asked it in a casual way " hey just chucking this out there. If we are both single next year you want to come to this wedding? Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted December 10, 2023 Share Posted December 10, 2023 You should only be bringing someone to a wedding if they are your steady girlfriend. You don't ask random people on dates to weddings. That's a very strange thing to do. And it's next year? If you're interested in asking someone on a date, then you ask them on a date and have the date, like, soon. Not next year. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted December 10, 2023 Share Posted December 10, 2023 I went with my best friends brother to a wedding and we had a great time together. He was the cousin of the groom and he had asked me to be his plus one. We had known each other for a while. When is the wedding? Are you meeting her there? If the wedding is far in the future, she might just be busy at the moment. If she hasn't responded after a couple days, you could follow up with her and ask if she got your message. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 10, 2023 Share Posted December 10, 2023 33 minutes ago, fred123 said: She does. I think I offended her by asking her. I can't see why she'd be offended - you weren't unkind. Perhaps she is uncomfortable 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 10, 2023 Share Posted December 10, 2023 35 minutes ago, fred123 said: hey just chucking this out there. If we are both single next year you want to come to this wedding? So it's just a future faking come on line. It's not surprising she's not taking it seriously or responding. It seems like you turned her off being cheeky. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 10, 2023 Share Posted December 10, 2023 (edited) Next year? Save the dates barely go out a year in advance. Wedding invitations go out 8-6 weeks before the big day. A lot can change over a year. You don't even know you will be invited with a plus one. This girl you asked doesn't think you are serious with this off the wall invitation. Closer in time to the event you can ask somebody to be your date, not now. It's far too early. Edited December 10, 2023 by d0nnivain 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted December 10, 2023 Author Share Posted December 10, 2023 21 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: Next year? Save the dates barely go out a year in advance. Wedding invitations go out 8-6 weeks before the big day. A lot can change over a year. You don't even know you will be invited with a plus one. This girl you asked doesn't think you are serious with this off the wall invitation. Closer in time to the event you can ask somebody to be your date, not now. It's far too early. Well we already said that next Xmas if we are single we would do Xmas markets in vienna. We already discussed this. I then sent a text after our video call saying " Also forget to mention, just gonna chuck this out there. Beginning of June is my mates wedding in Rhodes (Greek island). So I guess if we are both single and I havnt found a better girl to take with me, would you be interested?🤷🏻♂️" I'm trying to keep it low key and casual. She's in the states trying to rekindle things with her ex. Hence why we said if we are both single next year Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 10, 2023 Share Posted December 10, 2023 @d0nnivain makes an excellent point. If you're both still single when RSVPs need to be made, that would be the time to ask her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted December 10, 2023 Author Share Posted December 10, 2023 14 minutes ago, basil67 said: @d0nnivain makes an excellent point. If you're both still single when RSVPs need to be made, that would be the time to ask her. Well the wedding is in June and in another country so... Also it was more of a suggestion because we don't know if we are gonna be single next year at that time. I thought it was a compliment and she would appreciate that I thought of her to ask her to come Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted December 10, 2023 Author Share Posted December 10, 2023 It could also be that she doesn't want to bee seen with me in public and have photos of us taken. I'm not the tallest or best looking guy but hopefully by June next year il be more attractive:) Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 10, 2023 Share Posted December 10, 2023 1 hour ago, fred123 said: Well the wedding is in June and in another country so... Also it was more of a suggestion because we don't know if we are gonna be single next year at that time. I thought it was a compliment and she would appreciate that I thought of her to ask her to come Are you planning to pay for her flights and accommodation? I know it was just a suggestion, but it's still too early Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 10, 2023 Share Posted December 10, 2023 1 hour ago, fred123 said: It could also be that she doesn't want to bee seen with me in public and have photos of us taken. I'm not the tallest or best looking guy but hopefully by June next year il be more attractive:) Have you ever met her face to face? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 10, 2023 Share Posted December 10, 2023 1 hour ago, fred123 said: I thought it was a compliment and she would appreciate that I thought of her to ask her to come Your intentions may have been pure but it was too much. A wedding date implies a serious commitment that doesn't exist in your relationship yet. The year advance just makes it all odd & awkward. This woman hasn't figured out if she's getting you a Christmas present yet or if she wants to be your date for NYE & you are talking about a wedding next year. You overwhelmed her in a bad way. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted December 10, 2023 Share Posted December 10, 2023 Is this a girl you are actually in a relationship with? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 10, 2023 Share Posted December 10, 2023 Have you met her in person, Fred? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 10, 2023 Share Posted December 10, 2023 Is this your fwb that you flew to see while she was away and she was not happy about it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 10, 2023 Share Posted December 10, 2023 11 hours ago, fred123 said: I thought it was a compliment and she would appreciate that I thought of her to ask her to come Unfortunately it's common to use faux future talk as pickup lines and she knows this. It's not a complement because not only is it insincere, it's not really an invitation. Even if you weren't kidding, it's too much to ask someone you're not even in a relationship to go to a destination wedding. Please try to be more sincere when dating even if you're just casual and avoid trite pickup tactics like this faux future talk. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted December 10, 2023 Share Posted December 10, 2023 13 hours ago, fred123 said: Yes but I asked it in a casual way " hey just chucking this out there. If we are both single next year you want to come to this wedding? I can see why she didn’t jump at the invitation… nobody wants to feel like your choice unless someone better comes along… Have you met this woman in person? Because, if you haven’t, this invitation likely came out of the blue… 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted December 10, 2023 Share Posted December 10, 2023 21 hours ago, fred123 said: Yes but I asked it in a casual way " hey just chucking this out there. If we are both single next year you want to come to this wedding? Sounds like you're not even dating. In that case, it's super weird to invite her. Also, let's be totally honest, most of us don't exactly love attending a stranger's wedding. We'd do it for a partner or even a boyfriend perhaps, but weirdness aside, there's no way I'd be giving up a whole day (at minimum) to attend the wedding of a person I don't know, as the plus one of a person I'm not in a relationship with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted December 10, 2023 Share Posted December 10, 2023 21 hours ago, fred123 said: Well the wedding is in June and in another country so... This makes your invite even weirder. Why would you think that a girl who you are not dating, and by the sounds of it don't know very well, would want to take a trip with you to another country next year to attend a wedding with you? If you are interested in her have you even asked her on local dates in your area? Or are you jumping straight to asking this girl to take a trip with you to another country next year? None of this makes any sense. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted December 11, 2023 Share Posted December 11, 2023 (edited) On 12/9/2023 at 7:26 PM, fred123 said: hey just chucking this out there. If we are both single next year you want to come to this wedding This sounds like you are saying that you hope to have a gf by the time the wedding comes around but, if you don't, will she be your Plan B. Edited December 11, 2023 by introverted1 Link to post Share on other sites
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