Did I manifest this woman into my life or is it a coincidence?

[seany25]

I'm a guy in my 30s who recently met up with a woman I went on one date with over 7 years ago (she's a similar age to me). After the first date, we had planned to meet up again, with the plan to get intimate. Unfortunately, that never happened and we never met again. I was gutted. I shared the full story in this thread.

Anyway, recently we matched again on a dating app and last week we met up, again, and this time, we did get to finish the unfinished business from all those years ago [ ] 

During the 7 years between the first and second dates, I sometimes thought about her and wondered if our paths would one day cross again. [ ] 

I never put any sustained effort into "LOA" or anything like that; I've actually always been sceptical of it. However, might I have accidentally made this fantasy come true by keeping it alive in my mind all this time?

To conclude: I am open-minded to the LOA and I would like to attract this woman into my life on a more solid/permanent basis. I don't even mind if it's not a full relationship, even if I could have her in my life on a smaller scale where I see her now and then. I'd be happy with anything because I think she is so special; I have this eternally burning lust for her. So my question is, what can I do to manifest her being a more prominent presence in my life?

Edited December 11, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Off topic sexual content

[Wiseman2]

48 minutes ago, seany25 said:

 we had planned to meet up again, with the plan to get intimate..However, might I have accidentally made this fantasy come true by keeping it alive in my mind all this time? what can I do to manifest her being a more prominent presence in my life?

Sorry this happened. She never responded to your date Saturday? Unfortunately wishful thinking hasn't helped. It's probably a safe fantasy to hide behind if you are still avoiding relationships and intimacy. The "one that got away" type of thing. 

In fact perhaps if you stop reliving retelling and obsessing about this, whether you believe in law of attraction or not, you may have a better chance of meeting and attracting someone who is mutually interested in what you want. 

[basil67]

It's not uncommon to find people who are known to us on dating apps.   And even outside of apps, we can randomly run into people we know when we're out and about.   So sure, you might see her again, but given that she apparently doesn't care to see you again, the chances of you wanting the same things are low.

I also agree with @Wiseman2 that you're sounding a bit obsessive about it all.  

[MsJayne]

Not intending to be a smarta**, but if you'd like to pursue something with this woman would it not be best to just ask her if she's interested in a third date rather than try to "imagine" her into your life?  I'm a great believer in positive thinking, but if "manifesting" worked I'd be sailing around on my super-yacht shovelling lobster and champagne down my throat while I counted my billions. Think about it this way, you can wait another seven years while you do some hard-core manifesting and maybe bump into her again, or you can just call her and invite her to dinner which would take about five minutes and give you a definite answer.   

[seany25]

9 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this happened. She never responded to your date Saturday? Unfortunately wishful thinking hasn't helped. It's probably a safe fantasy to hide behind if you are still avoiding relationships and intimacy. The "one that got away" type of thing. 

In fact perhaps if you stop reliving retelling and obsessing about this, whether you believe in law of attraction or not, you may have a better chance of meeting and attracting someone who is mutually interested in what you want. 

 

9 hours ago, basil67 said:

It's not uncommon to find people who are known to us on dating apps.   And even outside of apps, we can randomly run into people we know when we're out and about.   So sure, you might see her again, but given that she apparently doesn't care to see you again, the chances of you wanting the same things are low.

I also agree with @Wiseman2 that you're sounding a bit obsessive about it all.  

 

4 hours ago, MsJayne said:

Not intending to be a smarta**, but if you'd like to pursue something with this woman would it not be best to just ask her if she's interested in a third date rather than try to "imagine" her into your life?  I'm a great believer in positive thinking, but if "manifesting" worked I'd be sailing around on my super-yacht shovelling lobster and champagne down my throat while I counted my billions. Think about it this way, you can wait another seven years while you do some hard-core manifesting and maybe bump into her again, or you can just call her and invite her to dinner which would take about five minutes and give you a definite answer.   

I'm incredibly sceptical about manifestation and all that stuff. I think it's kind of woo woo, since anything you want in life must take effort. Sure visualisation is nice, but you need to take consistent action. I am open-minded, though. So I'd be open to giving almost anything a try if it will potentially make my life better.

With this girl, we had already talked about meeting again (just like the first time) and I guess I've just been worried that won't happen based on the history, where she'd vanish off the radar. We have been texting again but the level of investment is hot and cold now; where she takes longer to get back to me than before, etc.

I realise I can effectively push her away if I was to bombard her with contact (which I haven't).

[Alpacalia]

No, you did not manifest her.

I think she left a lasting impression on you most likely during a period of your life based on some of the things mentioned in your other post about struggling with addictions and self-esteem. It's very possible that she embodied something you were looking for or admired in others and couldn't find in yourself at that time, hence the intense attraction. This is not a bad thing, as she probably unknowingly sparked some self-reflection in you.

Being this dependent on someone after one date is a but unusual but 7 years is a long time for someone you met 1 time, so I'm assuming in that time you've built a standard for her {a fantasy} that can't be actualize by anyone. Not trying to be a downer, just realistic.

So while I think it's great you guys had a good time and it was a second chance, you have to come back to reality. Relationships are a 2 way street. So even if you're amazingly in love and attracted to her, she still needs to be interested too. You can't just manifest someone into your life if they are not interested.

[d0nnivain]

The Law of Attraction and other power of positive thinking is all about perspective.  No you didn't manifest her but you have thrown it out to the universe that you wanted a relationship.  Because you were looking for somebody to date, you were more aware of potential partners.  If you set out to see a lot of the color yellow, you will see more yellow things in any given day because you are looking for them.  

You have to do the work.  You can't just wish for things.  If you want her in your life ask her on another date; be attentive & an active listener when you see her.  

[NuevoYorko]

An overabundance of magical thinking will stand in the way of a person being open to what is unfolding all around them.  

[basil67]

10 hours ago, seany25 said:

I realise I can effectively push her away if I was to bombard her with contact (which I haven't).

This is exactly the kind of thinking which I was referring to in my other post -  it's how I guessed that you'd never had a long term relationship.   If someone isn't responding to your messages, then they aren't interested. One can't push away someone who's not interested, because there's no interest to push away.  It's just logic.   Rather than reading books or dating websites for how to get a woman, you are better off learning how to quietly read between the lines

Generally speaking, if a woman is really into you, she will be very receptive to staying in contact (assuming that the contact isn't needy) and will return your messages and be keen for more dates.

[mark clemson]

Quote

Did I manifest this woman into my life or is it a coincidence?

The phrasing of your post title implies that manifestation and coincidence are separate things.

Consider that perhaps they are part of the same thing, and that the universe, from which both manifestation and coincidence are said to come, might be a bit more subtle than "we" currently realize, impressive observational technologies notwithstanding.

I have no idea how things will go with this woman, but I do agree with several above that taking a more "traditional" approach to starting a relationship with her is probably much more likely to bear fruit than attempting further "manifestation" and that idealizing her too much might be a road to disappointment.

I'm a monotheist, but "the gods help those who help themselves" used to be a thing, probably for good reason...

[basil67]

9 minutes ago, mark clemson said:

But "the gods help those who help themselves" used to be a thing, probably for good reason...

It's still a thing.  I have no religious beliefs, but if I'm talking with someone who is religious or woo woo, "god helps those who help themselves" this is my way tactful way of saying that you can't sit on your backside waiting for an outcome delivered by someone else.  That you need to make it happen. 

It's a very handy phrase which recognises their belief but gives practical advice.

[Wiseman2]

12 hours ago, seany25 said:

 We have been texting again but the level of investment is hot and cold now; where she takes longer to get back to me than before, etc.

It's probably a somewhat of a coincidence, but not entirely. You're both on tinder both into one night stands and you matched before. 

Perhaps the high you got from it made you feel like it was some sort of mystical experience. Maybe similar to club drugs. Maybe because sex and attractive partners are rare for you?

As you come back down to earth, you may become more comfortable with the idea that you just got lucky. And it's not all that transcendental. 

If she's cooling off, nothing is stopping you from dating others. 

 

[ShyViolet]

I see that you've chosen not to take the good advice that was given to you in the other thread about the same situation, and now you are developing an obsession with this woman.  You can engage in magical thinking and mental gymnastics all you want but it won't change the reality that this woman is letting you know she isn't interested by not responding to your texts.  You have two choices... either delude yourself into thinking you can "manifest" her to be interested in you, or work on your issues and learn to become more realistic about dating.

Edited December 11, 2023 by ShyViolet