Shana Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 Simple question really. Been with my guy for 2 + now... I can see him in my life in 50 years... I would marry him but we have not once discussed it in our tenure together... We are older, in our 30's. Will he ever propose discussion on marriage? I just assume it is something he does not want since he has never made any inclination on it. I for one, will never nor have ever brought it up either. I don't feel it is my place to do so, maybe I am wrong? It's not like the end of the world that I MUST marry .. nothing like that, I am all for him for him not a ring or a paper etc. Just curious to what others think and starting to feel that in my relationship we do not communicate on important issues.. It will pass Link to post Share on other sites
LifeRealistic Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 ok, I see no one has touched this one...It is a little odd that it has never been brought up if you are that close and that much in love. One would probably think 2 people in love would share thoughts and dreams of the future, or children, or a nest egg...something... Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Why won't you bring it up? What do you mean it's not your place? You have a say in this relationship too you know. Maybe he thinks you are not interested in marriage, since many women would have already brought it up - who knows. You can work the question, very causually into a conversation if the opportunity comes up. That's how I did it with my boyfriend - actually it's come up twice with us - both times very innocently and in no way was there any pressure. The first time we were out to dinner, just chatting. He was telling me of a good friend of his, who he used to date. I asked why they broke up and he said she ended it because he didn't want to get married. I then asked if that was true. He told me at some point he would like to (not sure what he's waiting for - he's 49!). The second time he made a comment that jews never marry out of their faith - since I am jewish I immediately asked what the heck we were doing then if he thought marriage was in no way a possibility (again I was not pressuring him, but why bother if you both want to get married and no way to each other?). His answer was he wasn't speaking about us - just making a gross generalization. Since we were sorta having a heated debate - I of course did not respond to a gross generalization about my people! If the opportunity never comes up - make it. Tell him your family/friends/coworkers whomever were asking you about your marriage plans since you two were together for 2 years already and you didn't know how to answer them. Say that you are very happy - and really hadn't been thinking about it - but would like to know how he thought you should answer. Hope this helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Suzzette33 Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Hello, I was in the same boat as you, except I was in the relationship for 7 years, I never asked him, because deep down I knew he didn't want to get married, and I didn't want to rock the boat..Well i'm 34 and I do want to have childeren someday and get married, so unfortunatly I had to leave him...He was my best friend and miss him terribly but if 2 people want different things and you can't talk opening about everything the relationship will NEVER work!! Good luck to you, I know how you are feeling Link to post Share on other sites
Shana Posted December 27, 2005 Share Posted December 27, 2005 Thanks for your replies. I appreciate it. I've decided that there will evenutally be a time and place for me to bring it up to him, that is, if I ever do. I just feel like if it is something he does not want to talk about, then I sure will not either... Sad to say but why bother? I would love to marry this guy but if there are no intentions on his end, well I don't have to be, but I will find myself being OK with that... Heck, I am free to come and go if I please.. that really sucks to say but it is reality so. I will give it time, at least that is on my side. Suzette, stinks to even think about it, about leaving to persue what I want in the future.. but I think that is what I am getting at. Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 There's nothing wrong with talking about it with him yourself. Some people just aren't into marriage -- I am not, personally, and would not plan to get married if it wasn't suggested by a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Shana Posted December 30, 2005 Share Posted December 30, 2005 Really? If you 'were' into marriage you would not bring it up, you would just wait for her to? And not even be a thought if never mentioned? Maybe that is how my guy feels... humm, something for me to think about .. thank you Link to post Share on other sites
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