She liked me on popular dating app

[juzme]

I met her in person before. I was shocked she liked me again when I decided to try the same dating app we met. But she never messaged me on the dating app. She seemed to expect me to contact her. Which indie. She then texted me. We both talked on the phone and enjoy our usual sex talk over the phone. On her profile she seeks a relationship. I had on my profile casual dating. But stated I am open to long term relationship. 

 

She said I could call her last night which I fell asleep and it was already too late by the time I had woke up to call her that night. 

 

It seems she wants the guy to always call her. She doesn't seem to be into texting much like me. She agreed with me by text it's good we have each other. But I feel she doesn't always connect with me emotionally. She is usually quiet or odd in sharing  her feelings often. There is often times she seems cold or won't text back for days, months after I would text hi, or how's it going. Just seems like a weird relationship. She often tells me when we talk about going out that I need to spend on her or she will hang up. I sometimes not sure if she is joking as she will laugh and then be quiet. So I often change the subject or tell her we will both go dutch. I prefer going dutch. She did like to hear I'm trying to diet and visit the gym. And liked the idea of meeting at the gym sometime after her work. 

I have shared my feelings for her. I've told her I want marriage and kids. She doesn't won't kids. She liked the idea of maybe living together someday. 

I still feel like it's a weird relationship and she seems to be focused more on her job, her female friend at work then on me. 

I'm not sure if I'm getting somewhere with her or wasting my time with her. The dating app sucks and I hardly meet anyone. They usually ghost you or message you for a few sentences than they unlike you.

 

I just don't feel like I can meet anyone else. A few I had messaged on the dating app said dating sucks these days and bo one ever meets.

[basil67]

Whether you want casual or long term, you're wasting your time with this one.  The connection simply isn't there

[ExpatInItaly]

Have you actually met her in person? 

[d0nnivain]

You both seem low energy, like you want the other one to do more but neither of you is willing to do more.  

You texting hi or how's it going isn't much of a conversation starter.  

Going dutch all the time doesn't seem like much of a date.  It's odd to me that you are talking about a future but not doing much in the present.  

Given her stated preference that she does not want kids, if you want kids, this is not a longer term match.  It will only lead to resentment.  

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, juzme said:

 I had on my profile casual dating. There is often times she seems cold or won't text back for days, months after I would text hi, or how's it going. I often change the subject or tell her we will both go dutch. I prefer going dutch. 

Have you gone on dates? How long have you been talking? It doesn't seem like a relationship if she ghosted for months at a time. Have you asked her out? 

Unfortunately OLD is difficult, but if you expect women to contact you first, have "looking for casual" and "I like to go dutch" on your profile and only text "hi ", you may have a lot of frustration finding dates. 

 

[juzme]

We met up after a month or two over a year ago. It felt more like a one night stand though. As she then would text me on and off. Then months of being ghosted. She seems to like me. Then she disappears.

[juzme]

Maybe they just don't like a big guy lol. I've chatted with a few on the app but they say they want a relationship but then they message once or twice or I ask questions and try to be friendly. They unlike me or disappear. Dating was much easier years ago. I was in a different state though. And it seemed easier to meet people in person back then. The pandemic I think changed people. 

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, juzme said:

. They unlike me or disappear. Dating was much easier years ago.

Get a good profile and recent pics on quality dating apps. It's difficult but try to send a message and after a few messages suggest meeting for coffee or a drink.

Please don't put "looking for casual" on your profile. Please keep in mind while some women may be down for hookups, dating apps are not escort services. 

Also consider real life opportunities. Join some groups and clubs volunteer get involved in sports and fitness take some classes and courses and broaden your social horizons. This way you can have fun doing interesting things with like-minded people and talk to women you see regularly. 

 

[juzme]

Most of the ladies i would match with on the popular dating app were hours away. And they wanted someone close to them. A few just were not into me because of me being overweight. But the one I'm currently trying to get another day with is in shape. So I think some ladies on the app are judgemental of me. I've tried to be romantic sounding in my profile as well. Not sure I can do the online dating anymore as it seems to be a waste of time. And ladies there seem to be weird or judgemental of me. 

Once in a while at the store a lady will say something silly to me. But I'm focused on shopping and not finding a lady at that time. But it seems they try to flirt with me. As one usually says " want to dance" as they bring their cart close to me as I maneuver around them. Maybe I should try to hit on them and forget online stuff. But it happens only once in a while a lady , usually older will flirt or maybe they are just being silly. Hard to always say. 

[juzme]

I do try to go to the gym once a week. But the ladies there usually have a guy or don't seem to be focused on men. 

[d0nnivain]

Women at the gym are there to work out not get picked up. 

If women are "asking you to dance" when shopping they are hitting on you so you should flirt back.  Every time you are out & about is an opportunity to flirt & meet people.  Stop wasting the opportunities by focusing solely on your task at hand. 

OLD is all about looks.  Set your parameters to smaller distances so you don't have the GUD (geographically undesirable) problem.  

[juzme]

11 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Get a good profile and recent pics on quality dating apps. It's difficult but try to send a message and after a few messages suggest meeting for coffee or a drink.

Please don't put "looking for casual" on your profile. Please keep in mind while some women may be down for hookups, dating apps are not escort services. 

Also consider real life opportunities. Join some groups and clubs volunteer get involved in sports and fitness take some classes and courses and broaden your social horizons. This way you can have fun doing interesting things with like-minded people and talk to women you see regularly. 

 

I'm on indeed. And a one day a week class teacher position is available. Instructing kids to play chess , etc. I guess that might be a way to meet a single mother. 

 

I was a teacher's aid in high school and I did get some looks by girls then. No doubt now the moms might fancy me. At least try 

[juzme]

10 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

Women at the gym are there to work out not get picked up. 

If women are "asking you to dance" when shopping they are hitting on you so you should flirt back.  Every time you are out & about is an opportunity to flirt & meet people.  Stop wasting the opportunities by focusing solely on your task at hand. 

OLD is all about looks.  Set your parameters to smaller distances so you don't have the GUD (geographically undesirable) problem. 

Sometimes my mind is on the  food at the store lol. But yes , I'll try to hit on them back. 

[juzme]

Well I did text her tonight ( the lady I met a year ago) and even tried to call her. I am sure she has been dating others. Her phone went to voicemail. Maybe she is tired from work. But I don't know aby dog groomer place that is open past 9pm. I worked one. They closed before 6pm. 

I guess like someone said I'm wasting my time. I don't even understand why she even liked me on the same app we first met on. I just can't keep this little routine of hers thinking I'll run back to her. It's getting old 

I'm on a different app and deleted the one I was on.

[juzme]

Surprisingly she sent me a text this morning. Saying this... ( Copied and pasted)

 

Sorry it's my busy time at work till after the holidays 

[juzme]

Sane exact thing she would say the year we first me. But after the holidays she basically ghosted me.  I looked up her place she worked and it doesn't even look like a place for dogs. It's like a weird location behind a vacuum store. Lol

 

 

Edited December 13, 2023 by juzme
Updated info

[Wiseman2]

19 minutes ago, juzme said:

Sane exact thing she would say the year we first me. But after the holidays she basically ghosted me. 

Unfortunately it seems like you're wasting your time hanging on to hope you'll hook up again. You're not exclusive so you're both free to talk to, meet and date others. Why not consider some alternatives to this situation? 

[juzme]

On 12/13/2023 at 7:38 AM, Wiseman2 said:

Unfortunately it seems like you're wasting your time hanging on to hope you'll hook up again. You're not exclusive so you're both free to talk to, meet and date others. Why not consider some alternatives to this situation? 

I'll try.