Author NomiMalone Posted December 20, 2023 Author Share Posted December 20, 2023 (edited) 1 hour ago, Acacia98 said: No, it wouldn't be cruel of you. You see, the goal of your action would be to protect yourself, not to hurt him. If you are religious, say a prayer for him, wish him well in your heart. And then live your life. If you're not religious but there's a meaningful ritual you could carry out, then do that. Considering that yours was a casual relationship and you'd only been together for a few months, you went above and beyond in your efforts to help him. Unfortunately, you subsequently learned that he hadn't been completely forthcoming with you and that your relationship was morally/ethically questionable. Your response to that was not to be cruel or vengeful towards him. It was to remove yourself from the situation. These are the actions of a compassionate person. You extended tremendous compassion to this man. Don't you think it is time for you to extend compassion to yourself? You are allowed to set boundaries and to maintain them for your own well-being. You matter just as much as anyone else. And your first responsibility on this earth is to look after yourself. Thank you for your thoughtful, kind reply. It brought me so much peace and calm in this period of turmoil and devastation. We were friends for 13 months before we dated (close friends for the last few months), so I didn’t view him as just a casual date when it came to being there for him in his illness. The idea of the NC coming from a position of self-compassion really resonates with me. I’m going to keep going back your comment should in future the guilt/thoughts that I’d abandoned him start to creep back in. Thank you again. Edited December 20, 2023 by NomiMalone Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 42 minutes ago, NomiMalone said: he was honestly one of the most trustworthy people I’d ever met. What exactly did he do for you to come to that conclusion? Obviously that isn't true since he's hiding you from his girlfriend and has made you an 'other woman'. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NomiMalone Posted December 20, 2023 Author Share Posted December 20, 2023 27 minutes ago, stillafool said: What exactly did he do for you to come to that conclusion? Obviously that isn't true since he's hiding you from his girlfriend and has made you an 'other woman'. Yes he was, not “is”. I.e., not anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
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