Yellowrose91 Posted December 16, 2023 Share Posted December 16, 2023 I am in my final year of college with important work due in about a month that I’m feeling stressed about. Recently, my boyfriend was pressuring me to go abroad with him so I stupidly booked the flights. Now, the deadline is getting closer and I’m getting more stressed about completing my work to a good standard. My boyfriend is telling me to study harder now so that we can still go. He said it upset him that I said I can’t go. He says I can study abroad too but I know I will be too distracted. I have offered to give my plane ticket to a friend of his but he still really wants me to come. Is he being selfish here? I shouldn’t have booked the flight but I felt too pressured. I could potentially get the work done beforehand but it’s a risk. Should I just tell him plain and simple sorry for saying I could come and booking the flights but now I really cannot? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 16, 2023 Share Posted December 16, 2023 8 minutes ago, Yellowrose91 said: . Should I just tell him plain and simple sorry for saying I could come and booking the flights but now I really cannot? Unfortunately you not only agreed to something but finalized it with buying tickets. If you miscalculated your need to study or anxiety about your schoolwork, apologize and offer alternatives. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 16, 2023 Share Posted December 16, 2023 How long is the trip for? Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted December 16, 2023 Share Posted December 16, 2023 You made a big mistake by not standing up for yourself, by agreeing to something that you didn't feel comfortable doing and letting him pressure you. Now it's time to correct that by telling him NO, unapologetically, and not letting him pressure you into things. He is being absolutely selfish and unsupportive of you. A good boyfriend would be 100% supportive of the fact that you are in school and not trying to make you do things that will compromise your success with your schooling. School should come FIRST and you should not do anything that may risk you getting bad grades or not passing your classes. Do you always have a habit of people-pleasing and having a hard time standing up for yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 16, 2023 Share Posted December 16, 2023 Your boyfriend is a self-centered man. He priorizes himself, always has. It's no different now than your previous complains about him. He is selfish, unaccommodating, inconsiderate of your feelings and he will continue being that way. You should absolutely not jeapordize your study for someone like that. You tell him you're sorry but you cannot go as your study is your priority, he can move the trip's dates to accomodate you (I doubt he does that for you). Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 16, 2023 Share Posted December 16, 2023 (edited) Girl you need to stop dating these inconsiderate jerks....your man picker is soooooo off. Guys like him are jealous beasts. For you to do well and be successful butt hurts their ego, and they feel they lack control over you. He wants you to fail, he doesn't want you to be independent and strong, he wants you to depend on him and only him. Send him to the curb, be free, focus on your studies, and do well. Look for a man that lifts you up, and supports you 100%. Edited December 16, 2023 by smackie9 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 16, 2023 Share Posted December 16, 2023 If he asked you to go on the trip with him, why were you the one who had to make the flight arrangements? Stop doing things for guys and stand up for yourself. Your education is more important than a boyfriend. You will have to be able to take care of YOURSELF in life because there are no guarantees when it comes to men. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted December 17, 2023 Share Posted December 17, 2023 Focus on your studies OP. This guy is just a boyfriend. And, apparently, not a very supportive or understanding boyfriend at that. He is not your husband or even a fiance. You have only been dating him for a few month. There is absolutely no reason for you to jeopardize your education over some guy that you barely know. 6 hours ago, stillafool said: If he asked you to go on the trip with him, why were you the one who had to make the flight arrangements? Stop doing things for guys and stand up for yourself. Your education is more important than a boyfriend. You will have to be able to take care of YOURSELF in life because there are no guarantees when it comes to men. A very good question. How did you get bamboozled into making flight arrangements since he is the one who wanted to go abroad? I also wonder who paid for the tickets. I sincerely hope that you haven't paid for everything. Heck, he probably should have paid for everything since it was all his idea and he was the one pressuring you to go with him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 17, 2023 Share Posted December 17, 2023 (edited) On 12/15/2023 at 7:37 PM, Yellowrose91 said: I am in my final year of college with important work due in about a month. I stupidly booked the flights. Please take responsibility for your own actions and decisions. You're responsible for understanding your own study habits, course load and academic goals. It's unclear why you agreed to go. Neither of you are being "selfish", it's just that you agreed to go knowing all along about your coursework and now you're leaving him in the lurch. .In the future, don't make promises you can't keep especially when others have already invested their own money and time into it. Edited December 17, 2023 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
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