doglover124 Posted December 19, 2023 Share Posted December 19, 2023 I had lately been feeling a deep admiration to a regular customer at the retail shop I work for. I recently came to know his email while collecting customers email which lead me check him out on his social media. His account is public, and each and every day I'm tempted to connect and contact or engage with him over there, but yet feels it's unethical as I came to know it during work. My love is burning inside me to a level that I literally become nervous and sweat whenever I see him. What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
ClearEyes-FullHeart Posted December 19, 2023 Share Posted December 19, 2023 Do not contact him via email or social media - the ick factor is too high and you’ll seem like a stalker. If he’s a regular customer why not just naturally get to know him over time and be professional but friendly, without crossing any lines. You seem to have created a fantasy about this person as you barely know him and can’t possibly be in love with him. Try to take a step back and just be nice and helpful when he’s at the store. If you and he end up meeting for coffee or making plans at some point that is great but it needs to happen organically in my opinion. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 19, 2023 Share Posted December 19, 2023 18 minutes ago, Rose_D said: I had lately been feeling a deep admiration to a regular customer at the retail shop I work for. I recently came to know his email while collecting customers email which lead me check him out on his social media. How long have you known him? Do you talk when he comes to your workplace? That may be a better way to try to connect. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 19, 2023 Share Posted December 19, 2023 You're talking of a burning love. To love someone, we need to know them fully. Does this mean that the two of you engage in significant conversations where he's sharing the details of his life and his inner thoughts? Does he talk about his friends and family? Has he disclosed whether or not he's got a girlfriend or is married? (if you came by this info by stalking his SM, it doesn't count) Or does he simply exchange pleasantries? Link to post Share on other sites
Author doglover124 Posted December 19, 2023 Author Share Posted December 19, 2023 10 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: How long have you known him? Do you talk when he comes to your workplace? That may be a better way to try to connect. I had seen him for almost an year now. The thing is, I got a new job and will be leaving this one soon. I don't know how to approach. I even ended contact completely with a guy who I had been meeting for at least 3 dates because I realized I don't have any intense emotions for him and that is one of the factors that made me realize my admiration towards this first person which was implied in me for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 19, 2023 Share Posted December 19, 2023 3 minutes ago, Rose_D said: I got a new job and will be leaving this one soon. I don't know how to approach Next time you see him give him your contact information and ask if he wants to stay in touch or go for coffee. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author doglover124 Posted December 19, 2023 Author Share Posted December 19, 2023 13 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Next time you see him give him your contact information and ask if he wants to stay in touch or go for coffee. Will that be weird? Because I haven't talked to him other than work related matters. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 19, 2023 Share Posted December 19, 2023 52 minutes ago, Rose_D said: Will that be weird? Because I haven't talked to him other than work related matters. No, it's not weird considering you're leaving the company. Ask him if he's single and if he says yes, give him your number and ask if he'd like to go for coffee sometime. If you leave and don't give your number you'll probably never see him again. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 19, 2023 Share Posted December 19, 2023 7 hours ago, Rose_D said: Will that be weird? Because I haven't talked to him other than work related matters. It's the perfect opportunity to say you're leaving the workplace and give him your contact info. Do you have social media or LinkedIn you could give him if giving him your phone number seems too forward or awkward? Link to post Share on other sites
Author doglover124 Posted December 20, 2023 Author Share Posted December 20, 2023 I have those. But I'm unsure whether he'd have imagined I would ever make such an approach. Because until now, even the very least number of conversations I had with him were extremely professional. I'm confused how to begin or let him know that I had feelings for him for almost over 6 months Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 21 minutes ago, Rose_D said: . I'm confused how to begin or let him know that I had feelings for him for almost over 6 months Please don't let him know you "have feelings". That is extremely awkward. Please give him your contact info and see if he contacts you. It's unclear why you simply can't say, "just to let you know, I'm leaving this job, so if you would like to stay in touch here's my number"? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 If you actually see him at work before you leave, you can say, "Hey I'm leaving this job soon would you like to grab a coffee / drink with me sometime?" If you don't get a resoundingly positive response, give up Do not contact him on social media & do not speak of some burning love. At best it's lust but to blurt out something like that is odd. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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