Is this relationship worth pursuing or not?

[Ami1uwant]

4 hours ago, RockyGirl said:

Update: its Christmas and we didnt see each other. So I called him via Facetime and he wouldnt pick up the call but would answer my messages. I told him Id like to see him at least online because its Christmas. He rejected my call and said he’s pissed because he wants to just rest and lay in bed. I told him I just wanted to see him even for a few minutes. He further went to say he’s getting angry. Then he said his car is parked and he didnt leave the house. 
 

This is the first time he acted like this. 

I think you are a side job…….

after 6 months you should be seeing each other more than once a week or a booty call.

 

6 months is usually the time you reach a point to say is this something to get serious about vs just a SO.

[RockyGirl]

@Wiseman2 my mom told me if this guy is serious about me, he would properly get to know her (my mom). I keep telling her and myself that he is simply too busy with work but during the previous weekends Ive seen him make time for Christmas parties and other events/activities.  
 

ive said i was hurt by how he was earlier and that he doesn’t want me to be a part of his life. Then muted him.

[Alpacalia]

Dump him. He's stringing you along. You deserve better and you won't be getting any clearer information out of Mr. Mystery. He's keeping you at arm's length for some reason and you're not going to be able to force him to be more open or honest. Just break it off with him and move on to the next guy.

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, RockyGirl said:

He used to come over my condo once a week. He would never tell me in advance, just a few hours before he wants to come. That had to stop because my mom is here visiting. 

I'm sorry. This is not dating, it's booty call. Please listen to your friends and family that he's not serious and is hiding something. Please delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. "Muting" is simply hoping he contacts you and this is all a bad dream. 

[ExpatInItaly]

7 hours ago, RockyGirl said:

Then muted him

You need to actually end it. 

[Acacia98]

14 hours ago, RockyGirl said:

Id like to visit him at his place and hang out with him but he’s too conscious of his roommates seeing me or seeing him with me. I told him i dont feel secured in this relationship, he doesnt spend enough time with me, and why does he not want to introduce me to his friends or at least mention me. He said he’s still adjusting and is doing things one at a time. What should i do?

From your last post, it sounds like you've ended the relationship. If that's the case, you've done the right thing.

It sounds to me like he's either cheating on you or is one of those people who is so emotionally unavailable that you would never really feel like you were in a relationship with him. Either way, he's wrong for you.

In future, don't spend so much energy trying to fix a young relationship if it's not working in fundamental ways. You shouldn't have to beg to meet his friends or to visit his place. These are things that should happen organically, as your relationship progresses and you open up to each other. If anyone else ever treats you the same way, tell him that you are looking for something different from what he's offering and that the two of you are not compatible and you wish him well. Then walk away and don't look back.

[ShyViolet]

9 hours ago, RockyGirl said:

I keep telling her and myself that he is simply too busy with work but during the previous weekends Ive seen him make time for Christmas parties and other events/activities.  

Maybe you should stop making excuses for him and have higher standards for yourself than this.

[d0nnivain]

Have you told him this is bothering you?   If not, speak up.  

You have to get out of the compartmentalization.  If he loved you, by now you would have met his friends & he'd be incorporating you into how life.  The fact that he continues to keep you separate from everybody else is a red flag.  

[NuevoYorko]

Obviously this guy is not interested in dating you or  else he would have asked you out on a date by now.  Obviously he's not in a place in life where dating you is going to happen.   

Are you having sex with him when you meet in the car in front of his place?  If so I hope you are using condoms every time.

 

[d0nnivain]

If he has time to go to parties with friends, he has time to meet your friends & family. He is simply choosing not to because he doesn't care enough about you to make the effort.  

He wouldn't face time with you because he wasn't alone.  His anger was born of fear that he would be found out as a cheater.  

You are right.  You deserve better but the only way you will get better is to dump him.  He won't change & suddenly incorporate you into his life.  When I met DH I had a full time job having just opened my own business about 2 years earlier; I had 2 part time jobs; I served on 3 boards of trustees and was a caregiver to my elderly parents.  Still DH & I went out 1-2x per week & we met each other's friends & family within the 1st 3 months even though his whole family lived a plane ride away in 3 different states.  If your guy cared, he'd make the effort.  

[NuevoYorko]

It's confusing that you have this question in two different forums here.   Maybe  ask the mods to merge the threads.

[RockyGirl]

@ShyViolet thank you. I needed to hear this
 

@d0nnivain ive told him multiple times: if one really wanted to do something, they can make ways for it to happen. If one doesnt, they can come up with a hundred reasons not to. 
 

so i said my piece and 7 hours later his reply was : i was so sick youd feel bad for me if you saw the state i was in. Not one apology. Not one question to even ask how i am. Wow.

time to block him. 

[Calmandfocused]

17 hours ago, RockyGirl said:

We usually see each other once a week but this past week it’s been me who makes the effort of going to his place. Id text him to say im outside and he’ll come out and sit with me in my car. We’ll chat with each other for a while then he goes back inside. 

What!!
 

Do you not realise that you’re lapping up his scraps and breadcrumbs of nothing? Do you not see that by permitting this behaviour you are allowing him to treat you this way? 
 

Why oh why? 
 

Op you have the power to change this. Don’t let anyone hide you or keep you a secret. 

 Sounds like he’s a married man playing away from home. Toss this one back on the scrap heap. 

[ExpatInItaly]

1 hour ago, RockyGirl said:

time to block him

Absolutely, yes. 

Be done with this man and don't waste time like this in the future.