Alpacalia Posted December 30, 2023 Share Posted December 30, 2023 2 minutes ago, viewfromtheoutside said: If I showed a lack of interest in what he was saying or did something like break eye contact and excuse myself from the conversation he would get pissed off...him pissed off is him acting like I don't exist for a week and giving me angry gazes.... I feel like I'm at a point where my body language does suggests I'm fed up... I often don't make eye contact when he's talking about these things and as I said I can sit there for 30-40 minutes and maybe get 3 words in without him being affected or zeroing in that he is talking too much....as he'll be so into what he's saying.... I also have tried to not be as available and put a little bit of space between us but he doesn't seem bothered by it one bit. He's focusing on himself Don't think there's much hope here This must be so hurtful for you. Your guy just seems really clueless about your emotional state and your lack of interest and engagement. He's focused on what he wants to say and not how it's impacting you. He also seems kind of out of touch with your emotional well being in general. His response to upsetting you or hurting you is to step back and hide. He doesn't seem to understand that he can't just ignore the problem, or let things calm down, and imagine that the problem will just go away. I imagine the more you try to talk about your relationship, and your growing disconnection from him, the more shut down and dismissive he becomes. You've hit a wall here, and until he can see how his actions (and inaction) impact you, I don't see him engaging enough to change it. He seems a bit self absorbed and having a distance from you, emotionally, is simply an unconscious self defense against something he a) can't understand and b) can't see happening. I'm sorry. It's a painful place to be. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted December 30, 2023 Share Posted December 30, 2023 Why are you in this relationship? You are quite ready to give all kinds of details about how aggrieved you are / how useless he is. Not getting even the slightest hint of any type of mutual affection or interest. Seems like you've both been in this unfulfilling rut for years. You're not moving in any direction. Why stay stuck? Yes, it's hard to break up, but that's what needs to happen when a relationship has long since ceased to provide anything that you need. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted December 30, 2023 Share Posted December 30, 2023 11 minutes ago, viewfromtheoutside said: If I showed a lack of interest in what he was saying or did something like break eye contact and excuse myself from the conversation he would get pissed off...him pissed off is him acting like I don't exist for a week and giving me angry gazes.... I feel like I'm at a point where my body language does suggests I'm fed up... I often don't make eye contact when he's talking about these things and as I said I can sit there for 30-40 minutes and maybe get 3 words in without him being affected or zeroing in that he is talking too much....as he'll be so into what he's saying.... Are you kidding? Why on earth are you putting up with this? This guy sounds absolutely self-centered and exhausting. There is no way I would stay in a relationship with someone like this. He's just using you as his venting receptacle, he's not the slightest bit interested in you as a person, he just wants to talk at you for an hour straight and not let you get a word in edgewise. I think you need to dump this guy asap, but you also badly need to work on your self-esteem and assertiveness. It's very concerning that you would let someone do this to you for so long and not speak up and put a stop to it earlier. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 30, 2023 Share Posted December 30, 2023 16 minutes ago, viewfromtheoutside said: Don't think there's much hope here Unfortunately I agree. He seems too self-centered and is just coasting along oblivious to you and your relationship. Please enlist the support of friends and family to plan your exit. Tell him it's not working and either move out or ask him to, depending on your living situation. Please don't waste your youth on this. Link to post Share on other sites
Lisa Posted December 30, 2023 Senior Moderators Share Posted December 30, 2023 @winterblues23 and @viewfromtheoutside are the same member. Thread will continue under the former username Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 30, 2023 Share Posted December 30, 2023 39 minutes ago, viewfromtheoutside said: If I showed a lack of interest in what he was saying or did something like break eye contact and excuse myself from the conversation he would get pissed off...him pissed off is him acting like I don't exist for a week and giving me angry gazes.... I'm confused. First you claimed he gives you the silent treatment but now he talks too much? Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted December 30, 2023 Share Posted December 30, 2023 I'm confused about why you would start a new thread with a whole new user profile to continue complaining about this guy. You got a lot of input already - some of it you seem to have liked, other not so much. Maybe you're here for pity and sympathy, which you've received. You've also got solid advice, which you've completely ignored. Clearly you're not interested in taking any type of action. Yet you just make a new profile, change some minor details, and come back to complain more. Serious question: What are you wanting here? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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