Jaden Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 I've been married for 5 years and have one child with my husband. Since the beginning he's been very disrespectful, rude, selfish, and verbally abusive. I know my self esteem was the reason I agreed to marry him. I only stayed with him during the marriage because soon after getting married I got pregnant. I tried working through it because I want my child to live in a family unit and not be a statistic of divorced parents like I was. My husband claims he loves me so much yet doesn't respect me as a person, just someone to take care of the house and be with our child. He gets angry over anything he thinks I haven't done right in regards to cleaning. He'll claim I don't do his laundry right, I don't mop right, any time I would ask if he wanted food he'd always say he wasn't hungry or that he was fasting. This was an everyday thing, then the next day he'd complain how I don't cook for him. He says I don't do anything because I don't have a job and so he expects the house to be clean and says I don't clean even though I legitimately clean and do laundry everyday. But if it isn't down to the T how he wants it, I'm not doing anything in his eyes. He's very good to our child, but horrible to me. Anytime I try to have a conversation and address things he says I'm causing him stress and going to give him a heart attack, but has no problem constantly complaining and finding reasons to be angry or say I'm not doing enough. We haven't slept in the same room and I just don't know what to do. My child would be devastated for a divorce but I'm so unhappy and feel so unloved and feel like I'm just someone to be his maid and nanny. I'm 27 and he's 37. I have no family I could even stay with and I feel like I'm stuck on an island. I don't, yet do want to be with him, but I think mainly me wanting to stay is because I want my child to be in a house with both parents and him maybe changing. I take care of my appearance and try to be a good wife but he always finds something to be unhappy about. I want to find someone who doesn't treat me like crap, but I honestly think it's too late for me. No one wants a divorced woman with a child regardless on how hard I try to be in shape and look good. I feel like I have to learn to be happy alone, even though I want a good partner. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 (edited) 14 minutes ago, Jaden said: . He's very good to our child, but horrible to me. My husband claims he loves me so much . No one wants a divorced woman with a child Sorry this is happening. These statements are untrue. Please reach out to domestic violence agencies for information, support, advice and help. You seem quite beaten down and isolated from the abuse. He doesn't love you. Abusing you is not being a good father. In fact you need to get yourself and your child out of this environment. It's better to be a "statistic" of divorce than domestic violence. Edited January 7 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 17 minutes ago, Jaden said: No one wants a divorced woman with a child regardless on how hard I try to be in shape and look good. This isn't true. Though I imagine it would be easier to find a good match second time around if you consider men who already experience of what life as a family man involves. It may not suit a guy who's wanting to travel heaps and be out all the time, but for a guy who's already got kids he'll likely be more amenable. Also your looks really don't make a huge amount of difference. Sure, initial attraction may be there, but ultimately, it's about compatibility. Don't you want a man who wants you for who you are rather than what you look like. Anyway, get the support you need to get away from this guy and start over. He's not going to change and your child will grow up thinking his behavior is "normal". Then when you've got your new life underway, you can consider dating again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 58 minutes ago, Jaden said: . No one wants a divorced woman with a child regardless on how hard I try to be in shape and look good. I feel like I have to learn to be happy alone, even though I want a good partner. That is the damage he's done to your self esteem talking. It's not true. The longer you stay the worse things will be & the more difficult it will be for you to rebuild. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 On 1/7/2024 at 6:42 PM, Jaden said: No one wants a divorced woman with a child regardless on how hard I try to be in shape and look good. Who in the world told you this? Divorced women with kids get married all the time. Children thrive in happy homes, not homes where their mother is in turmoil. Your child will not lose his father if you divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 Yes, divorced women with children get married all the time, so don't worry about that now. I wouldn't be thinking ahead to your next relationship criteria until you get yourself free of this one. Otherwise you will be going forward with the same self esteem issues that have dominated your life until this point. Link to post Share on other sites
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