Onyx7 Posted January 11 Share Posted January 11 (edited) Was in a so called serious relationship with a guy for 2 yrs, was clear i was only looking for something serious and he said the same. First time we had sex was without my consent. Should have been my sign but i didnt want to believe this could happen to me so I let him know i came out of a long depression after my sisters traumatic death and an abusive marriage. So not to play games. He assured me he really liked me so i continued almost 2 yrs. Esp after what happened i gave him a chance hoping things would turn out better. My naivety. Blindly trusted this man and led him lead the way. He convinced me i was the only one for him and that he spends any free time he gets to talk to me and see me, which seemed true given his work schedule. Hes a doctor and works a lot. We literally stayed in touch morning to night for 2 years. This was someone who made me believe without a doubt that he really loved me and cared for me, and I felt it was true too. We had no issues, he called me his peace and his life. Found out now he cheated on me with multiple women since beginning, multiple sexual partners, took his ex back last yr, continued cheating on both of us, lied, manipulated, used, abused, and discarded me when i confronted him. I told the ex and she was heartbroken too. I got no apologies no remorse. Instead, he's begging the other girl to take him back because he loves her and has a history with her. I just got to witness him saying all this too, he called me while with her to say that i meant nothing so she feels better and doesnt leave him. I heard him apologize and beg her while putting me down. I listened in shock and cried. It didnt effect him an ounce. Hes disappeared without a word and i found hes begging the other girl for another chance. Hurts like hell. Like how could someone be so cruel? We talked day and night for 2 yrs, i loves yous, dates everything. I would have never imagined this would happen. My mistake was i gave him time because he wasnt yet ready for marriage. Whereas he was actually planning to marry the other girl. Disgusted that hes a doctor. We hold them at a higher standard its true. I've been left in such emotional pain its indescribable. Ive lost all faith in my judgment and guys. This wasnt even a normal player, this was the most sick sociopathic person ive ever been involved with. I dont know how to move on? He cant be a narcissist if he is crying and apologizing to her. I get it he didnt move on from his ex. But who plays like this! To this level! I cant function. I dont know what to make of all this, im in literal shock. Edited January 11 by Onyx7 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted January 11 Share Posted January 11 1 hour ago, Onyx7 said: Blindly trusted this man and led him lead the way. You blindly trusted a man who sexually assaulted you? It’a the famous quote - when someone shows you who they really are, believe them. Hopefully, once you have gotten over the anger and the pain, you will learn the lesson here… 4 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted January 11 Share Posted January 11 1 hour ago, Onyx7 said: he called me while with her to say that i meant nothing so she feels better and doesnt leave him. Oh dear, it reads like a 'Days Of Our Lives script' 😬. What a cruel prick! The whole thing sounds like a lot of drama all caused by the good doctor. I'm sorry you're not coping very well, finding out someone's a treacherous, lying scuzzball is always nasty. No doubt you're going to go through stages of grief, anger, despair, and feeling a bit revenge-y. I suggest plenty of self-care, and blocking him and her, and anyone associated with them, on all platforms. Enlist a couple of girlfriends and sit around and get drunk and have a massive vent, and if you find you can't move on because of the treachery of it all, maybe get some support from a counsellor. Being a pillar of the community, doctor, lawyer, politician, doesn't mean the person can't also be an a*****e. Just don't contact him, the quicker you wipe him the quicker you'll start recovering.   1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 11 Share Posted January 11 (edited) I'm struggling to believe that he's a doctor. How many doctors have time to be texting with multiple women all day and night? Had you ever been to his home? Edited January 11 by basil67 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 11 Share Posted January 11 5 hours ago, Onyx7 said: . First time we had sex was without my consent. How did this happen? Please delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Hopefully you have seen a (decent) physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health and gotten some tests done especially STD testing. Please ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted January 11 Share Posted January 11 7 hours ago, basil67 said: I'm struggling to believe that he's a doctor. How many doctors have time to be texting with multiple women all day and night? basil, have you never watched Greys Anatomy? 🤣 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 11 Share Posted January 11 You move on by blocking him everywhere. Try journaling. You will get through this.  Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 11 Share Posted January 11 14 hours ago, Onyx7 said: Disgusted that hes a doctor. We hold them at a higher standard its true. I've been left in such emotional pain its indescribable. Not really. There are a lot of doctors who are players because women flock to them. I agree with donnivain about journaling, it's a great way to get your thoughts out. He should definitely be blocked by now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 It seems odd that a busy doctor would have time to stay in contact with you 24/7 AND find time to cheat on you with multiple women and develop a whole 2nd relationship too. I guess doing this was his main hobby outside of work, unfortunately? At any rate, it sounds very much like you're better off without him. You might consider talking to a therapist if that's feasible for you, to talk through some of this. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 He can't be a narcissist? Oh girl he is. A psychopath is part narcissist. They act everything out to their benefit. Crying is in the bag of ticks they use for manipulation. This guy got no feelings for anyone but himself. You dodged a bullet. Hopefully his ex will too or any other woman that crosses his path. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 On 1/11/2024 at 6:01 AM, Onyx7 said: Like how could someone be so cruel? This was your first clue: On 1/11/2024 at 6:01 AM, Onyx7 said: First time we had sex was without my consent Anyone who forces themselves on someone else is cruel. You didn't want to believe it, but the evidence has been there all along that this man doesn't give a flying fig. On 1/11/2024 at 6:01 AM, Onyx7 said: We talked day and night for 2 yrs How did he manage this when he's apparently a busy doctor? I don't know, Onyx. I feel for you, but I am also seeing a lot that doesn't add up about this man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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