Pain, finality, and closure on my recent whirlwind fling

[ExpatInItaly]

Donate the gifts. 
 

Just drop the notes in the recycling bin. No need to be overly-dramatic and burn them. 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, seany25 said:

. I'm not saying this to further rehash things, the reason I'm sharing it is just to highlight how she has always stood-out from all other girls 

Unfortunately you are rehashing things. What's the difference if these items stay in a box in the attic for another 7 years?  You seem to be living in the past. 

[NuevoYorko]

Seriously - you had a grope session in a car with somebody you just met, one time, 7+ years ago and you've kept the souvenirs that she gave you (whacky of her but whatever) for almost a DECADE?  That is pretty unfathomable.

How old are you?    This all sounds so ... pubescent.  Including her bringing you teddy bears with cutsie notes from the beach.   

Edited December 16, 2023 by NuevoYorko

[ShyViolet]

5 hours ago, seany25 said:

When we met for the first date 7 years ago, she brought me a bunch of gifts back from her beach holiday (we had been talking whilst she was away, then met when she came back). There was like 7 or 8 items including a cute teddy. Each item had a personalised, written note attached to it with a cute, funny, or naughty message from her.

Giving someone a bunch of gifts on a first date is bizarre.  It's way too much.  I've done a lot of dating in my time and I've never heard of anyone doing something like this.  It's kind of cringey.  Now this makes me think that she's a little unbalanced herself.... or at least was back then.

Why are you even talking about this now?  You can't seem to stop fixating on your very brief encounters with this girl.  It doesn't matter whether you burn them or not.  What matters is what you are going to do to work on these issues and better yourself.

[FredEire]

6 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

Giving someone a bunch of gifts on a first date is bizarre.  It's way too much.  I've done a lot of dating in my time and I've never heard of anyone doing something like this.  It's kind of cringey.  Now this makes me think that she's a little unbalanced herself.... or at least was back then.

Why are you even talking about this now?  You can't seem to stop fixating on your very brief encounters with this girl.  It doesn't matter whether you burn them or not.  What matters is what you are going to do to work on these issues and better yourself.

I agree.

I agree with @Wiseman2's thoughts on this thread that you probably treating dating in the same way as you would a drug high since you've been sober on all other fronts for a while now but have an addictive personality.

Also if she's a little unstable and all over the place it may answer your question from before about why you found her in particular so attractive. It presents some kind of risk factor and guaranteed high/low feelings.

All thoughts though that a therapist could give you a lot more insight on and help you explore in a proper constructive fashion.

[Acacia98]

On 12/14/2023 at 2:52 PM, seany25 said:

I appreciate she likely hasn't thought about it as much as me, but I do believe she does get some sort of kick from it. The gaslighting confirms this - or perhaps that was her way of letting me down (not so) gently.

(...)

I can't help but feel a slight jealousy at the idea of other guys getting to have time with her (I wish it was me), but that's a pointless concern because there is absolutely nothing I can do about it and she never was mine in the first place. Again, I imagine a full relationship with her would be painful because she is so temperamental, unpredictable, and can have any man she wants. In fact, knowing that I had a girl who can have any man she wants is a bit of a confidence boost.

(...)

I probably need to assess why I am attracted to unattainable girls. There is reverse psychology with the whole wanting-what-you-can't-have thing but there is probably something deeper within me that explains it. Off the top of my head, my parents split up when I was 10/11 and I went with my dad and saw very little of my mum for the next handful of years. I was also very unsupervised and that's how I ended up on drugs. Many years later when I had kicked the drugs and was reflecting on those behaviours, thinking about why and how I went through addiction so young, I had a powerful realisation that I had gotten so easily hooked on drugs because I was subconsciously blocking out the loss of my mum being in my life. So, perhaps there is a further connection to this with me chasing after girls I can't have.

(...)

I'm a big boy tho, and whilst it's been both an exciting and extraordinary experience, I'm happy it happened. If I could go back, I'd choose it again. I don't regret it.

• It is indeed more of a win than an L, albeit with a slight knife twist at the end
• I still believe this has and will make me a better person overall
• My standards have gone up 

1. It sounds to me like she "gaslit" you, not necessarily because she gets a kick out of it but because manipulation is part of how she ordinarily deals with people. All this time you've been obsessing about her, you've not been seeing her as just another human being with flaws. Now, suddenly, she's done something that's forced you to pay attention to her behavior/her psychology. The reason why the experience feels like a kick in the stomach is because your fantasy of who she is is far removed from the reality of who she is. Anyway, welcome to reality, my friend.

2. I doubt she can have any man she wants. In fact, I'm guessing that there may be some men she really wants to be with who are not remotely interested in her because they're looking for more than transient/one-night stand scenarios and want to connect emotionally with the women they're with. Heck, it's possible that she's not happy about who she is and what she does and struggles with that.

3. I'm glad that you've began exploring some of your traumatic childhood experiences because your feelings are way too strong to be about your encounters with her. It seems more likely that the difficult childhood experiences you had continue to haunt you and to shape who you are and how you experience the world. I think it's likely that she represents something or somebody to you and that's why you're so hungry for affirmation from her.

4. When you say your standards have gone up, what exactly do you mean? That you're dating more physically attractive women? That the women are more professionally successful? Perhaps there's another set of "standards" that you should consider aspiring to: emotional health. If you take the time to undergo counselling and heal your emotional wounds, that might lead to more fulfilling relationships.

On 12/16/2023 at 8:01 PM, ShyViolet said:

Giving someone a bunch of gifts on a first date is bizarre.  It's way too much.  I've done a lot of dating in my time and I've never heard of anyone doing something like this.  It's kind of cringey.  Now this makes me think that she's a little unbalanced herself.... or at least was back then.

OP, this is an indication that she probably struggles in the realm of interpersonal relationships. Buying gifts for a first date could be an indication that she's trying to build familiarity/intimacy quickly, but that cannot be rushed.

[seany25]

19 hours ago, Acacia98 said:

1. It sounds to me like she "gaslit" you, not necessarily because she gets a kick out of it but because manipulation is part of how she ordinarily deals with people. All this time you've been obsessing about her, you've not been seeing her as just another human being with flaws. Now, suddenly, she's done something that's forced you to pay attention to her behavior/her psychology. The reason why the experience feels like a kick in the stomach is because your fantasy of who she is is far removed from the reality of who she is. Anyway, welcome to reality, my friend.

2. I doubt she can have any man she wants. In fact, I'm guessing that there may be some men she really wants to be with who are not remotely interested in her because they're looking for more than transient/one-night stand scenarios and want to connect emotionally with the women they're with. Heck, it's possible that she's not happy about who she is and what she does and struggles with that.

3. I'm glad that you've began exploring some of your traumatic childhood experiences because your feelings are way too strong to be about your encounters with her. It seems more likely that the difficult childhood experiences you had continue to haunt you and to shape who you are and how you experience the world. I think it's likely that she represents something or somebody to you and that's why you're so hungry for affirmation from her.

4. When you say your standards have gone up, what exactly do you mean? That you're dating more physically attractive women? That the women are more professionally successful? Perhaps there's another set of "standards" that you should consider aspiring to: emotional health. If you take the time to undergo counselling and heal your emotional wounds, that might lead to more fulfilling relationships.

OP, this is an indication that she probably struggles in the realm of interpersonal relationships. Buying gifts for a first date could be an indication that she's trying to build familiarity/intimacy quickly, but that cannot be rushed.

1 - I haven't been obsessing the whole time, but she's certainly remained in my psyche based on that unfulfilled desire I craved with her plus the communication we occasionally had during that time. I believe the "how she ordinarily deals with people" part is correct - I'm not the first person she has dropped; she drops just about everyone (from what I gather). For example, when I used to have her on social media, I had previously seen her posting photos of her and her "best friend" with captions about how close they are etc, but before long, that "best friend" was no longer in the picture. Then the same thing happened with another "best friend". This "best friend" cycle has been repeated at least a couple of times. I think this woman has a habit of ghosting almost everyone, again, just from what I've seen and experienced... I don't judge her for it, I just wonder what her reasons for this habit are. When she text me the "I thought you were disinterested...so I was like, next", I almost feel like the underlying tone of this was something along the lines of "I'm the one who hold the cards, I can take you or leave you anytime I want" as well as demonstrating how disposable men are to her. Again, I'm not entirely judging her, I find it intriguing.

2 - When I say she could have any man she wants, it is somewhat metaphorical but it would be largely true. I would be very surprised if any red-blooded, straight man turned her down. You could be right about there being a man or men she wants but can't have. However, I do strongly believe otherwise because she is such the strong independent type of woman who does not chase after men. She would probably have so many trying to be with her, she doesn't need to chase.

3 - I'm already aware that the childhood abandonment thing has affected my life in numerous ways, the biggest of which is drug addiction. It'll be cool if I discover why I'm so infatuated with this particular woman but I know part of it is the unattainability, physical beauty, and the unfulfilled desire I had (now fulfilled, even though I wanted more).

4 - Yes, since this is the most physically attractive woman I've ever been with, I see my standards remaining at a similar level of beauty, i.e. I won't even be pursuing anyone less attractive. There is also more to it, yes. Whilst she should be attractive, I also want sexual spontaneity, ambition, and intelligence, and more. This experience has also made me conclude that a woman having a mesmerising sexual allure in her persona is a very attractive trait to me.

5 - Whatever anyone thinks of the gifts thing, I thought it was nice and probably played a part in me becoming so attracted to her; because it stood out so much.

This time a month ago, we had not even yet matched on the dating app, and in under 3 weeks, it was over and done with. Whilst it was a bit of a rollercoaster, I don't regret it. How would I? The way this worked out is probably more fitting than not, in that, I always fantasised about her, and then she came along and gave me an afternoon that was essentially a fantasy come true, and then she just vanished again. In that sense, it's a really cool story that maintains it's fantasy status. Sure, I wanted some follow-up encounters, but it's still cool.

I'm moving on from it now because I don't have a choice. I have plenty of great things and projects going on that I am focused on, including a new business idea. I don't know if my path will cross with this girl again. I'm not holding out hope or fussing either way, but if our paths do cross at some point and I'm available, would I meet with her again?

Of course I would. What possible reason could make it better to not meet her than to meet her if we are both free and single.

Edited December 21, 2023 by seany25

[NuevoYorko]

Wow.  I just checked back in and here you are, STILL obsessing over a person you probably have spent a maximum of 6 hours with over the course of 7+ years.  

That's fine, but where I really have an issue is with you insisting on dissecting and analyzing her and her motives.

You don't know a darn thing about this woman!  You've not dated, you don't share anything except 1 grope session in a car and 1 time of PIV sex (can't remember if in a bed or a car). 

It's very presumptuous, egotistical and disrespectful of you to do this.

Guess what.  She is a full human being.  She has friends, people who care about her, things that are important to her.  She has probably loved a man or more than one, and she's probably had casual sex with whoever she felt like it when she felt like it, just like you experienced with her.

YOU DO NOT KNOW HER.

This is not a "cool story."  This is a depressing story.   You seem to be a person without any friends or real life connections with people and your attachment to your fantasy of this virtual stranger is bordering on stalkerish.

 

[seany25]

I'm not "still here obsessing"... Someone made points and asked questions, I responded.

[NuevoYorko]

What are your social and professional lives like on a day to day basis?  Also - I may have asked you this before but how old are you?  I get a very adolescent vibe, but since you said your earth-shattering makeout session happened 7 years ago I'm thinking that you must be at least early 20's?

[introverted1]

3 hours ago, seany25 said:

When I say she could have any man she wants, it is somewhat metaphorical but it would be largely true. I would be very surprised if any red-blooded, straight man turned her down.

You are conflating the ability to get sex, which is incredibly easy for women and truly is an indicator of nothing, with the ability to attract a healthy partner for a LTR.  

[CaliforniaGirl]

25 minutes ago, introverted1 said:

You are conflating the ability to get sex, which is incredibly easy for women and truly is an indicator of nothing, with the ability to attract a healthy partner for a LTR.  

This. I say this as a woman. Yes, we can get sex, LOL. Practically all of us. You have to be the dirtiest, smelliest, most heinous creature on earth not to be able to find someone who is willing to DTD. And even then...well, just hang out in a bar until closing.

"She can have a lot of sex" does not exactly equal an amazing catch.

[NuevoYorko]

8 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

This. I say this as a woman. Yes, we can get sex, LOL. Practically all of us. You have to be the dirtiest, smelliest, most heinous creature on earth not to be able to find someone who is willing to DTD. And even then...well, just hang out in a bar until closing.

Yeah.  Sadly, there are a lot of professional sex-havers (street prostitutes) who look extremely unappealing who not only have sex all day long, men are paying for it.

8 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

"She can have a lot of sex" does not exactly equal an amazing catch.

No kidding.  And, to the OP:  your average man who has their shyte together in any kind of way is not going to go bonkers over a woman because they are hawt and gave them a freaking teddy bear.  

[FredEire]

4 hours ago, seany25 said:

1 - I haven't been obsessing the whole time, but she's certainly remained in my psyche based on that unfulfilled desire I craved with her plus the communication we occasionally had during that time. I believe the "how she ordinarily deals with people" part is correct - I'm not the first person she has dropped; she drops just about everyone (from what I gather). For example, when I used to have her on social media, I had previously seen her posting photos of her and her "best friend" with captions about how close they are etc, but before long, that "best friend" was no longer in the picture. Then the same thing happened with another "best friend". This "best friend" cycle has been repeated at least a couple of times. I think this woman has a habit of ghosting almost everyone, again, just from what I've seen and experienced... I don't judge her for it, I just wonder what her reasons for this habit are. When she text me the "I thought you were disinterested...so I was like, next", I almost feel like the underlying tone of this was something along the lines of "I'm the one who hold the cards, I can take you or leave you anytime I want" as well as demonstrating how disposable men are to her. Again, I'm not entirely judging her, I find it intriguing.

2 - When I say she could have any man she wants, it is somewhat metaphorical but it would be largely true. I would be very surprised if any red-blooded, straight man turned her down. You could be right about there being a man or men she wants but can't have. However, I do strongly believe otherwise because she is such the strong independent type of woman who does not chase after men. She would probably have so many trying to be with her, she doesn't need to chase.

3 - I'm already aware that the childhood abandonment thing has affected my life in numerous ways, the biggest of which is drug addiction. It'll be cool if I discover why I'm so infatuated with this particular woman but I know part of it is the unattainability, physical beauty, and the unfulfilled desire I had (now fulfilled, even though I wanted more).

4 - Yes, since this is the most physically attractive woman I've ever been with, I see my standards remaining at a similar level of beauty, i.e. I won't even be pursuing anyone less attractive. There is also more to it, yes. Whilst she should be attractive, I also want sexual spontaneity, ambition, and intelligence, and more. This experience has also made me conclude that a woman having a mesmerising sexual allure in her persona is a very attractive trait to me.

5 - Whatever anyone thinks of the gifts thing, I thought it was nice and probably played a part in me becoming so attracted to her; because it stood out so much.

This time a month ago, we had not even yet matched on the dating app, and in under 3 weeks, it was over and done with. Whilst it was a bit of a rollercoaster, I don't regret it. How would I? The way this worked out is probably more fitting than not, in that, I always fantasised about her, and then she came along and gave me an afternoon that was essentially a fantasy come true, and then she just vanished again. In that sense, it's a really cool story that maintains it's fantasy status. Sure, I wanted some follow-up encounters, but it's still cool.

I'm moving on from it now because I don't have a choice. I have plenty of great things and projects going on that I am focused on, including a new business idea. I don't know if my path will cross with this girl again. I'm not holding out hope or fussing either way, but if our paths do cross at some point and I'm available, would I meet with her again?

Of course I would. What possible reason could make it better to not meet her than to meet her if we are both free and single.

I think one thing you're not really keeping in mind is that all this is your perspective. You use a lot of absolutes: you find this woman gorgeous but physical attraction is hugely subjective. I've met several women who don't find Brad Pitt particularly attractive and he's by consensus one of the sexiest men in the world. I've had friends boast of how gorgeous their latest partner is and when I met her I personally found her to be (for me) unattractive bordering on ugly, although I obviously didn't share this and were happy my friends felt they had met someone so great in their eyes.

Sure, there are people who the majority would consider attractive but it certainly isn't going to apply to everyone as it depends on the person, their history and probably genetic dispositions as well. And then beyond the surface level someone's personality, how they carry themselves and their little habits etc are HUGELY subjective in terms of how attractive the individual person will find them.

It's one of the biggest issues I have with stuff like PUA, it teaches young men to treat sex and dating like a video game where you become "high value" by making loads of money and driving a fast car, and then pump and dump your way through life. It appeals to young guys who haven't really got any experience and don't appreciate how complicated people actually are, and give them a very one dimensional view of women and life in general.

[ShyViolet]

2 hours ago, NuevoYorko said:

Also - I may have asked you this before but how old are you?  I get a very adolescent vibe, but since you said your earth-shattering makeout session happened 7 years ago I'm thinking that you must be at least early 20's?

He said in the beginning of this thread he's 37.  I agree this all sounds very adolescent and it's surprising that a 37 year old would be acting this immature.

[ExpatInItaly]

20 hours ago, seany25 said:

This "best friend" cycle has been repeated at least a couple of times. I think this woman has a habit of ghosting almost everyone

You have zero clue if tihs is true, and zero idea why she doesn't post these "best friends" anymore. There could be any number of valid reasons for that which don't involve any sort of ghosting, and you have no background information at all about her friendships. 

20 hours ago, seany25 said:

just from what I've seen and experienced..

Which is next to nothing, and also in the context of a fling that never got off the ground. Your limited experience with her is nowhere near enough to conclude that she ghosts almost everyone. I strongly encourgae you to keep pespective and remember that you barely know this woman, and don't have any real sense of how she conducts herself in her every day life. Cool it with the largely-baseless speculation. 

[CaliforniaGirl]

On 12/21/2023 at 8:12 AM, seany25 said:

I'm not "still here obsessing"... Someone made points and asked questions, I responded.

I think the reason it seems to be/could be obsession is that you go over every single detail with such a fine-toothed comb. You don't have to answer every single question with a paragraph that includes, over and over and over and over again, that she's the absolutely hottest creature you've ever "had" or what-have-you. The fact that you do, pretty clearly shows obsession.

JMO.

[NuevoYorko]

25 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

I think the reason it seems to be/could be obsession is that you go over every single detail with such a fine-toothed comb.

Also the attribution of all kinds of motives and backstory to this virtual stranger who shared almost nothing of themselves with the OP.  A huge amount of detailed fantasizing.

[flitzanu]

i know this is a little off track but i've been following this whole epic tale, and the thing that keeps sticking out to me is, if you were so in love with this girl, and it was so magical, why did you not like, take her home, or to a hotel or something, why are you having sex with a stranger in your car instead of somewhere a bit more romantic?

[seany25]

Life is full of surprises 😲

I was visiting a family member yesterday for Christmas. The spot I parked my car in is one I use probably 5 or 6 times a year. Usually, I park outside my family members' home which is on another road but yesterday I decided to use the alternative spot.

As I was leaving the family home, a family member stopped me with one final question before I left, which kept me there for another 5 minutes. After which I left, made my way to my car, and got in. I put my key in the ignition and was about to start the car when I saw the same kind of jeep the woman who has been the topic of this thread drives. As It got closer I could see a blonde woman driving and thought, no way, it couldn't be her, could it? The jeep pulled right up and parked in front of me; I mean nose to nose with my car. It was indeed her. She didn't notice me, but adrenaline started pumping through my veins. I was thinking "How do I approach this situation? What do I say?"

She got out and started gathering stuff from her vehicle. She still had not noticed me. So I got out, walked towards her and said her name. She was quite obviously as surprised to see me as I was her. Bear in mind that communication stopped around 2 weeks ago and I had accepted it was over.

Anyway, in the 2 minutes we got to spend chatting, she recounted that she really did think I had become disinterested in her based on some of the messages I had sent her. I had no idea they came across that way. In turn, I had thought she got bored of me. We didn't have time to deconstruct it there and then, but we were both wrong about each other.

I think she could tell how excited I was - my heart was racing - and when I asked if I could see her again she told me to text her later. So, I did, and long story short, we discovered last night over text that not only had we been wrong about each other, but we were both equally delighted with this surprise encounter... and as a result, I wasted no time in arranging to meet with her again and we have just spent a beautiful, spicy evening together at her home.

I'm utterly amazed at all this, as is she. I have often been sceptical of the universe having anything to do with how things go, but on this occasion, I think there may be something to it. There are at least 10 reasons why I should not have been at that spot at that particular moment, and she says she is only there once a month at random times. I think the universe has been like "Okay, you two, you both got the wrong end of the stick about each other, so here's a chance encounter for y'all, now it's up to you to figure it out".

Of course, maybe it is just a coincidence, but I think there is just too much coincidence here for this to happen the way it did. This woman and I had never once bumped into each other, anywhere, until yesterday in a neutral town many miles from where we both live. The likelihood of this having happened by chance is very, very small. I suppose there is that chance, no matter how small it was, but even if it was merely chance, it's certainly a curious eventuality in light of how this has played out over the last few weeks.

What a month, and what an unexpected turn of events just before Christmas 🔥💖

[ExpatInItaly]

10 hours ago, seany25 said:

she really did think I had become disinterested in he

How?

You tried to messager her good morning a couple times and never got a response. That is not showing disinterest. While I am sure you have a fun time again, please do not misplace hope in this woman for more. 

She is full of malarkey and you will get hurt. 

[FredEire]

14 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

How?

You tried to messager her good morning a couple times and never got a response. That is not showing disinterest. While I am sure you have a fun time again, please do not misplace hope in this woman for more. 

She is full of malarkey and you will get hurt. 

This.

If as you said she was the one ghosting it makes no sense.

She seems all over the place. Maybe she just likes to sleep around here and there and when you met by chance she thought why not.

To answer the question in the OP about "pursuing something serious" I would say treat it as something casual and see if she wants the same.

If you aim for anything else I'd say there's a good chance you'll be back with more agonising. Please don't assume she's a flawless angel now you've slept together again.

[seany25]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

How?

You tried to messager her good morning a couple times and never got a response. That is not showing disinterest. While I am sure you have a fun time again, please do not misplace hope in this woman for more. 

She is full of malarkey and you will get hurt. 

 

48 minutes ago, FredEire said:

This.

If as you said she was the one ghosting it makes no sense.

She seems all over the place. Maybe she just likes to sleep around here and there and when you met by chance she thought why not.

To answer the question in the OP about "pursuing something serious" I would say treat it as something casual and see if she wants the same.

If you aim for anything else I'd say there's a good chance you'll be back with more agonising. Please don't assume she's a flawless angel now you've slept together again.

I sent good morning but it wasn't in written text form. It was - what I thought were - cute memes. She didn't like those and cringed at them. Yes, it seems overly sensitive, and she admitted to that, but it is what it is 🤷 I once had a girl block me on Tinder for calling her blondie (in a way that thought was endearing), and yet I ended up sleeping with that same girl 8 months later... Sometimes a girl is just having a bad day or temperamental moment and will take it out on you.

And yeah, I'm not going to be getting ahead of myself (again). I'm currently just wallowing in the amazement of what's just happened with the unexpected chance encounter bringing us back into relations. It's just an interesting addition to this whole thing.

As for what happens from here, yes, I will probably continue seeing her for as long as we are both willing. I mean, it's very unlikely that I'd be the one to stop it from continuing, but what I'm saying is I am now happy to just go with the flow, enjoy whatever it is we have, and whatever happens long-term will play out as it is supposed to. There will be no pushing things from my side, I'm just going to enjoy our intimacy and time together.

[Rider on the Storm]

12 hours ago, seany25 said:

Life is full of surprises 😲

I was visiting a family member yesterday for Christmas. The spot I parked my car in is one I use probably 5 or 6 times a year. Usually, I park outside my family members' home which is on another road but yesterday I decided to use the alternative spot.

As I was leaving the family home, a family member stopped me with one final question before I left, which kept me there for another 5 minutes. After which I left, made my way to my car, and got in. I put my key in the ignition and was about to start the car when I saw the same kind of jeep the woman who has been the topic of this thread drives. As It got closer I could see a blonde woman driving and thought, no way, it couldn't be her, could it? The jeep pulled right up and parked in front of me; I mean nose to nose with my car. It was indeed her. She didn't notice me, but adrenaline started pumping through my veins. I was thinking "How do I approach this situation? What do I say?"

She got out and started gathering stuff from her vehicle. She still had not noticed me. So I got out, walked towards her and said her name. She was quite obviously as surprised to see me as I was her. Bear in mind that communication stopped around 2 weeks ago and I had accepted it was over.

Anyway, in the 2 minutes we got to spend chatting, she recounted that she really did think I had become disinterested in her based on some of the messages I had sent her. I had no idea they came across that way. In turn, I had thought she got bored of me. We didn't have time to deconstruct it there and then, but we were both wrong about each other.

I think she could tell how excited I was - my heart was racing - and when I asked if I could see her again she told me to text her later. So, I did, and long story short, we discovered last night over text that not only had we been wrong about each other, but we were both equally delighted with this surprise encounter... and as a result, I wasted no time in arranging to meet with her again and we have just spent a beautiful, spicy evening together at her home.

I'm utterly amazed at all this, as is she. I have often been sceptical of the universe having anything to do with how things go, but on this occasion, I think there may be something to it. There are at least 10 reasons why I should not have been at that spot at that particular moment, and she says she is only there once a month at random times. I think the universe has been like "Okay, you two, you both got the wrong end of the stick about each other, so here's a chance encounter for y'all, now it's up to you to figure it out".

Of course, maybe it is just a coincidence, but I think there is just too much coincidence here for this to happen the way it did. This woman and I had never once bumped into each other, anywhere, until yesterday in a neutral town many miles from where we both live. The likelihood of this having happened by chance is very, very small. I suppose there is that chance, no matter how small it was, but even if it was merely chance, it's certainly a curious eventuality in light of how this has played out over the last few weeks.

What a month, and what an unexpected turn of events just before Christmas 🔥💖

No offense, but are you sure that this "chance encounter" actually happened? I ask because you don't seem to have a very good grasp on reality, and I'm not buying for a second that this was just some simple misunderstanding between the two of you. This woman is VERY OBVIOUSLY not into you. You can't seem to accept that, so I wouldn't be surprised if this by chance meeting was made up by you. In the off-chance that this encounter actually did happen, she was probably creeped out to see you and just said whatever she needed to to get away from you.

As other posters have said (and I don't mean for this to be insulting), you would benefit greatly from some counseling. You seem to lead a very confused life.

[FredEire]

58 minutes ago, seany25 said:

 

I sent good morning but it wasn't in written text form. It was - what I thought were - cute memes. She didn't like those and cringed at them. Yes, it seems overly sensitive, and she admitted to that, but it is what it is 🤷 I once had a girl block me on Tinder for calling her blondie (in a way that thought was endearing), and yet I ended up sleeping with that same girl 8 months later... Sometimes a girl is just having a bad day or temperamental moment and will take it out on you.

And yeah, I'm not going to be getting ahead of myself (again). I'm currently just wallowing in the amazement of what's just happened with the unexpected chance encounter bringing us back into relations. It's just an interesting addition to this whole thing.

As for what happens from here, yes, I will probably continue seeing her for as long as we are both willing. I mean, it's very unlikely that I'd be the one to stop it from continuing, but what I'm saying is I am now happy to just go with the flow, enjoy whatever it is we have, and whatever happens long-term will play out as it is supposed to. There will be no pushing things from my side, I'm just going to enjoy our intimacy and time together.

Ok so she cringed and got turned off by your GIFs/memes. That's still her losing interest not you.

Edited December 24, 2023 by FredEire