Pain, finality, and closure on my recent whirlwind fling

[seany25]

39 minutes ago, Rider on the Storm said:

No offense, but are you sure that this "chance encounter" actually happened? I ask because you don't seem to have a very good grasp on reality, and I'm not buying for a second that this was just some simple misunderstanding between the two of you. This woman is VERY OBVIOUSLY not into you. You can't seem to accept that, so I wouldn't be surprised if this by chance meeting was made up by you. In the off-chance that this encounter actually did happen, she was probably creeped out to see you and just said whatever she needed to to get away from you.

As other posters have said (and I don't mean for this to be insulting), you would benefit greatly from some counseling. You seem to lead a very confused life.

I think it's awesome that some might have seen this as made up. I was actually going to allude to the idea that some might think it was made up, but I deleted that bit.

No offence taken, but it definitely gives me a giggle that what happened over the last couple of days is so implausible that people might think it's fictional.

That, to me, just substantiates how cool this encounter and it's outcome was.

We're probably meeting up again tomorrow.

Also, if she "just said what she needed to get away from me" then why was she so eager and happy to see me last night, literally telling me where she lived and inviting me over? That doesn't sound like someone who was creeped out.

Edited December 24, 2023 by seany25

[FredEire]

1 minute ago, seany25 said:

I think it's awesome that some might have seen this as made up. I was actually going to allude to the idea that some might think it was made up, but I deleted that bit.

No offence taken, but it definitely gives me a giggle that what happened over the last couple of days is so implausible that people might think it's fictional.

That, to me, just substantiates how cool this encounter and it's outcome was.

We're probably meeting up again tomorrow.

She wants to be with you on Christmas Day?

[seany25]

Just now, FredEire said:

She wants to be with you on Christmas Day?

Tomorrow evening, yes. Well maybe. We're going to see what happens.

[FredEire]

1 minute ago, seany25 said:

Tomorrow evening, yes. Well maybe. We're going to see what happens.

I'd say it's rather unusual to spend Christmas day with someone you've had casual sex with a couple of times, unless both of you are far away from family. But fair enough.

[seany25]

1 minute ago, FredEire said:

I'd say it's rather unusual to spend Christmas day with someone you've had casual sex with a couple of times, unless both of you are far away from family. But fair enough.

I'll be with family tomorrow for dinner, then I'd be delighted to come see her after.

It might be unusual but that's why I like it.

[Rider on the Storm]

1 hour ago, FredEire said:

She wants to be with you on Christmas Day?

Right. The same girl who has blown him off more than once, and again just recently, now wants to spend one of the most popular holidays with him. I'd say that's equally as believable as him just bumping into her, by chance, and her professing that she was just confused about his level of interest. On the 26th, I'm fully expecting a lengthy post where he details how, after a night of passionate love making, they are now exclusive.

[ExpatInItaly]

3 hours ago, seany25 said:

I sent good morning but it wasn't in written text form. It was - what I thought were - cute memes. She didn't like those and cringed at them

So? 

That still isn't you showing disinterest. It was rather childish but you were indeed trying to get in touch with her and she ignored you. If anyone showed disinterest, it was her. Not you. 

Her story makes no sense. 

 

[seany25]

22 minutes ago, Rider on the Storm said:

Right. The same girl who has blown him off more than once, and again just recently, now wants to spend one of the most popular holidays with him. I'd say that's equally as believable as him just bumping into her, by chance, and her professing that she was just confused about his level of interest. On the 26th, I'm fully expecting a lengthy post where he details how, after a night of passionate love making, they are now exclusive.

You know, it really is amusingly awesome that you don't believe me about this, because all of it is true. The only thing you're doing right now is making the chance encounter seem even more amazing to me than I thought.

I'm not 100% sure if we're spending Christmas evening together, but I'd be happy to.

Oh and it's Christmas evening, not Christmas day. Is there some kind of rule where we have to spend that evening with our family watching the Christmas specials of whatever nonsense is on TV?

No, there's not.

[seany25]

1 minute ago, ExpatInItaly said:

So? 

That still isn't you showing disinterest. It was rather childish but you were indeed trying to get in touch with her and she ignored you. If anyone showed disinterest, it was her. Not you. 

Her story makes no sense. 

 

So, nothing 🤷 She said she didn't appreciate them. I've seen women be temperamental over trivial things.

Listen, I'm not sure I know what sense to make of all this either, but it's been far from a boring December and I'm enjoining it even if it has continued to jump from one extreme to another.

[Alpacalia]

1 minute ago, seany25 said:

Listen, I'm not sure I know what sense to make of all this either, but it's been far from a boring December and I'm enjoining it even if it has continued to jump from one extreme to another.

You're enjoying it because it's excitement and tension. I'm not sure why anyone is surprised.

[seany25]

2 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

You're enjoying it because it's excitement and tension

Thanku, that's spot-on. It's livened things up and I like it.

Gunna get old and die some day. Might as well appreciate these chapters when you can.

[Rider on the Storm]

7 minutes ago, seany25 said:

You know, it really is amusingly awesome that you don't believe me about this, because all of it is true. The only thing you're doing right now is making the chance encounter seem even more amazing to me than I thought.

I'm not 100% sure if we're spending Christmas evening together, but I'd be happy to.

Oh and it's Christmas evening, not Christmas day. Is there some kind of rule where we have to spend that evening with our family watching the Christmas specials of whatever nonsense is on TV?

No, there's not.

You're right. There is no rule saying you have to spend Christmas watching movies with the family, but that doesn't mean that I believe this sudden (and, quite frankly, unbelievable) turn of events that you are claiming. This woman has blown you off more than once. Hell, she ghosted you. She left you on read and didn't bother responding. Displaying a lack of interest does not get more clear cut than that (and I'm only a handful of years older than you, btw). A healthy, well-balanced, and INTERESTED person would not do that. Period. My guess is you didn't like the feedback that you were getting ("she isn't interested", "move on", "seek counseling" etc.). Now, as a result, we have this new twist where she IS suddenly interested and she even wants to spend a major holiday with you (regardless of whether that is Christmas morning or Christmas night). Personally, I think you made up this new twist, but I look forward to hearing how this fantasy plays out.

Seriously, though. Counseling is warranted here. Happy holidays.

[ExpatInItaly]

There's nothing wrong with enjoying the moment.

The problem is that you seem to lack the emotional resilience to deal with it when the moment doesn't pan out the way you hoped. Look how rattled and upset you were even just a couple pages ago. You were spiraling. 

Not all of us are equipped for no-strings excitement when we like someone. You definitely appear to be one of those people. There's no shame in that, but you are setting yourself up to fall right off the rails again and then you'll be back at square one trying to get a grip. 

[Alpacalia]

12 minutes ago, seany25 said:

16 minutes ago, seany25 said:

Thanku, that's spot-on. It's livened things up and I like it.

Gunna get old and die some day. Might as well appreciate these chapters when you can.

 

Yeah, I get all that. But at what price?

Not to sound like a stiffie but life is about balance and it's okay to have fun and enjoy the moment as long as it's not at the expense of your well-being. And, you're a bit off-the rails and you're having trouble seeing the bigger picture. That's okay. It happens to all of us when we're caught up in something exciting. Maybe if you had other things going for you, you wouldn't be as caught up.

I'm not saying don't chase after this girl, just remember that there's more to life than this one night stand.

[seany25]

15 minutes ago, Rider on the Storm said:

You're right. There is no rule saying you have to spend Christmas watching movies with the family, but that doesn't mean that I believe this sudden (and, quite frankly, unbelievable) turn of events that you are claiming. This woman has blown you off more than once. Hell, she ghosted you. She left you on read and didn't bother responding. Displaying a lack of interest does not get more clear cut than that (and I'm only a handful of years older than you, btw). A healthy, well-balanced, and INTERESTED person would not do that. Period. My guess is you didn't like the feedback that you were getting ("she isn't interested", "move on", "seek counseling" etc.). Now, as a result, we have this new twist where she IS suddenly interested and she even wants to spend a major holiday with you (regardless of whether that is Christmas morning or Christmas night). Personally, I think you made up this new twist, but I look forward to hearing how this fantasy plays out.

Seriously, though. Counseling is warranted here. Happy holidays.

It's so amusing that the turn of events is "unbelievable" to you. Why is it amusing? Because it's evidently such an astonishing twist that it seems to some like it may be untrue.

I get that the encounter may seem a little "far out" and you're welcome to think I'm lying (again, I'm so amused by that), and in the meantime, I'll look forward to maybe seeing her tomorrow evening.

[seany25]

16 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

There's nothing wrong with enjoying the moment.

The problem is that you seem to lack the emotional resilience to deal with it when the moment doesn't pan out the way you hoped. Look how rattled and upset you were even just a couple pages ago. You were spiraling. 

Not all of us are equipped for no-strings excitement when we like someone. You definitely appear to be one of those people. There's no shame in that, but you are setting yourself up to fall right off the rails again and then you'll be back at square one trying to get a grip. 

 

5 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

Yeah, I get all that. But at what price?

Not to sound like a stiffie but life is about balance and it's okay to have fun and enjoy the moment as long as it's not at the expense of your well-being. And, you're a bit off-the rails and you're having trouble seeing the bigger picture. That's okay. It happens to all of us when we're caught up in something exciting. Maybe if you had other things going for you, you wouldn't be as caught up.

I'm not saying don't chase after this girl, just remember that there's more to life than this one night stand.

I understand where y'all coming from. I do feel more relaxed about it now that there was the surprising turnaround. One of the main reasons I was so upset is probably because it didn't end the way I wanted (I didn't get to have more fun with her). I'm also not saying that I'm happy and satisfied now that I had her again one more time, but the turnaround has made me realise that sometimes you just don't know how things are going to work out. This has made me see that sometimes you just gotta let whatever will be, be.

I have loads going for me. Great career, studies, hobbies, a new side-hustle idea for 2024. I'm pretty "together", even if I have sounded a bit frenzied at times on here.

I'll try not to get too emotional about it this time.

[Rider on the Storm]

7 minutes ago, seany25 said:

It's so amusing that the turn of events is "unbelievable" to you. Why is it amusing? Because it's evidently such an astonishing twist that it seems to some like it may be untrue.

I get that the encounter may seem a little "far out" and you're welcome to think I'm lying (again, I'm so amused by that), and in the meantime, I'll look forward to maybe seeing her tomorrow evening.

If you say so. Another thing about your 'supposed' recent encounter .. you claim that she was excited to see you and even invited you over (on Christmas of all days). In subsequent posts, you say, "we're going to see what happens". In this fantasy of yours, which of the two is it? Was she excited to see you and she invited you over, or were you excited to see her and she said "we'll see what happens"?

[seany25]

8 minutes ago, Rider on the Storm said:

If you say so. Another thing about your 'supposed' recent encounter .. you claim that she was excited to see you and even invited you over (on Christmas of all days). In subsequent posts, you say, "we're going to see what happens". In this fantasy of yours, which of the two is it? Was she excited to see you and she invited you over, or were you excited to see her and she said "we'll see what happens"?

She invited me over last night

We'll "see what happens" about tomorrow night

[Wiseman2]

18 minutes ago, seany25 said:

She invited me over last night

Seems like an upgrade from the car.  Hopefully Santa will leave a little something for you at her place. 

[seany25]

14 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Seems like an upgrade from the car.  Hopefully Santa will leave a little something for you at her place. 

I enjoyed the thrill of the backseat experience; would do it again. But it was also nice to be in her bed with no anxiety of being arrested.

[Alpacalia]

56 minutes ago, seany25 said:

She invited me over last night

We'll "see what happens" about tomorrow night

Hopefully you'll both do it again and it's terrible and then maybe the fantasy bubble will burst.

[seany25]

13 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

Hopefully you'll both do it again and it's terrible and then maybe the fantasy bubble will burst.

I don't think it'll be terrible but I'll let you know if it is

[Wiseman2]

35 minutes ago, seany25 said:

I enjoyed the thrill of the backseat experience; would do it again. But it was also nice to be in her bed with no anxiety of being arrested.

Would you consider asking her out for a real date? Or just hooking up for now? Do you have your own place? 

[Alpacalia]

2 minutes ago, seany25 said:

I don't think it'll be terrible but I'll let you know if it is

😅 

Well, it would be your word versus hers, so...

[Lisa]

Closed thread.   

OP's dilemma is solved and the thread has devolved into arguments.