Pain, finality, and closure on my recent whirlwind fling

[seany25]

TL;DR: The woman I started seeing a month ago has begun to become distant and I feel like history might be repeating itself - because communication with her has broken down more than once

The story up to a couple of weeks ago is covered in this thread but it's quite long so, in a nutshell:

1. I matched with a woman on a dating app at the end of November
2. We met at the start of December for dinner and had sex outside the restaurant in her vehicle
3. A week later, communication fizzles out and stops (to my dismay)
4. 2 weeks later, we have a chance face-to-face encounter where we talk and discover we both had got the wrong end of the stick (and each thought the other had become disinterested)
5. The next day (3 days before Christmas), we meet at her home and have a nice evening and sex
6. On Christmas evening, we meet and have a lovely evening of drinks and even greater sex (the best day of my life, actually, for explicit reasons I can't get into here)

I visited her a few days later on the 29th of December and brought her expensive perfume as a gift because on Christmas day I'd mentioned that an ex-girlfriend had contacted me and that I'd ignored it. She got upset at me for mentioning an ex on Christmas day, and I totally understood why she was upset. In my dumb mind, I thought it would be complimentary to her that I'd ignored the other girl; but it was simply an idiotic thing to say and I regret it. We managed to get past it tho and still had a great Christmas night, but I still wanted to get her a gift to say sorry.

Unfortunately, shortly after giving her the gift on the 29th, we were cuddling and I tried to initiate sex with her and it wasn't long before she knocked me back saying the vibe was all wrong and that it was insulting that I thought I could just arrive at her home and try to [have sex] with her. I actually understood why she was upset and I still feel like an a-hole for how I approached her that evening.

We have/had been texting all week since the night she knocked me back, and now I feel like she is starting to become a little more distant. We both caught a cold last weekend and at the time, I made the suggestion/asked her that if we're better by this weekend, could I take her to dinner? She hearted that question (implying to me that she was receptive to the idea).

Anyway, after texting back and forth all week, I texted her yesterday asking if I could take her to dinner. She did not reply; she didn't even read the message. This morning I texted again asking if she was free to do something with me today and she replied:

"Hey 👋 erm... na I'm kinda busy today x"

I spent ages thinking about what to reply and then I said:

"Alritey.. hope you're okay 🩷"

To the reader, it might sound like a straightforward exchange but the undertone to this is that the last time she sent me a "👋" emoji a month ago - about a week after we first had sex - it was the point at which the communication broke down and things "fizzled out". So the "wave" emoji is almost like the subliminal "goodbye" emoji from my perspective. Some might think I'm overthinking it, but based on my past experience with this girl it worries me. It's not just the emoji, it's the wording, too; based on how she usually texts me, I think this text is quite dismissive.

*To anyone who hasn't read the other thread, there is an important piece of additional back story with this woman, that we actually had our first date 7 years ago and then never met up again.. with several occasions in between where communication reopened and then closed again .. so I desired her for a long time and no matter what happens I'm still blown away by what I've experienced in the last month*

After our chance encounter at Christmas, I made sure to clarify that we should not let communication break down again in the same way it did last time and that we should be clear with each other to make sure it doesn't happen again. So now that I'm getting the "cold" vibes again, I need to know what to do next. Obviously, she's too busy for me this weekend, so do I wait a few days and ask if she's free next weekend? Do I call out the sudden "cold vibes" (not with that wording of course) that I'm sensing and ask her if things are okay, or if we'll see each other again? Or maybe do neither and just reinitiate contact in a few days asking how was her day at work or something, and hopefully pick things up from there?

I know asking her outright if something is wrong or if she doesn't want to see me again would be needy as hell but based on the fact that all our previous communications fell into ghosting territory (with me always being the one who gets dropped), I would rather not have that happen again.

It is a little different this time around in that we finally have become intimate on several occasions, but that doesn't mean she doesn't come across to as enigmatic and evasive as she was before. I would prefer to keep seeing her than not, but I know it may not happen. I do not take her for granted, and I told her those exact words before I left her on boxing day after that amazing night we spent together.

Ultimately, I feel like I'm probably simply back to the position I was in a few weeks ago before our chance encounter. If that's the case, I would be more accepting of it this time around, given that we had some incredible times together over the holidays that were both surprising and unexpected; the chance encounter and reunion might have happened at all, but it did, so I'm more satisfied than I was before. However, given that we have alluded to the communication needlessly breaking down last time and that we wouldn't let that happen again, what would be the best way to approach or call that out? (I just don't want it to quietly "fizzle out" again.. that is so frustrating!)

I even deleted all my dating apps this week and there are matches I could be talking to 🤭

But I really want to keep things going with this one 🩷 ... In any case, I can just proceed with life and whatever will be, will be, but like I said, I am not willing to let this just "fizzle out"... If things are going quiet, it at least needs to be raised rather than just letting it vanish again in a puff of smoke, I just need to know the best way to raise it/what to say.

Edited January 6 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language

[Sony12]

Well the one consistent thing is that you have had a very sexual relationship with one another.

Chances are probably good that that might be all that she is looking for from you and as soon as she senses things are becoming a little more serious she backs off a bit 

Also you two had sex in the car outside of the restaurant? Are you sure you are the only one she is currently having sex with? People that are that hardcore about sex to do it in a public place with a person they don't know very well yet often have a bit of a sexual addiction.

 

 

Edited January 6 by Sony12

[seany25]

3 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

Well the one consistent thing is that you have had a very sexual relationship with one another.

Chances are probably good that that might be all that she is looking for from you and as soon as she senses things are becoming a little more serious she backs off a bit 

Also you two had sex in the car outside of the restaurant? Are you sure you are the only one she is currently having sex with? People that are that hardcore about sex to do it in a public place with a person they don't know very well yet often have a bit of a sexual addiction.

We have had several intensely passionate encounters over the month, for sure. From some of our chats, she is open to casual, or exploring something more long-term. However, I've learned that nice conversations like that don't always materialise in the way you hoped. I told her I was also open to exploring more than casual but that it would be unwise to jump in too fast, which she agrees with.

I can't be 100% sure she's not seeing anyone else although I'm pretty sure there was/has been nobody else over the last month. That's not to say she isn't seeing someone this weekend. She might be, she might not be. I do not know, nor is it any of my business.

I'm not kidding, on Christmas day I walked in and she was sat on a rug in front of the fire waiting for me in a Mrs Claus style nightie with a little white blouse over her shoulders drinking a glass of wine, and when I sat down to embrace her I noticed that her skin was covered in glitter 😲🔥

It was an utterly mind-blowing and thoughtful gift she presented me with. I've never met anyone like her, and that's why I'm so enamoured. It's like every encounter with her makes me even more hooked, and I understand why... and that, in turn, is why I probably freak out a little at the first sign of things "fading out" 🫠 because I do not want them to.

[Alpacalia]

You're making excuses and expressing regret, which implies you are too worried about her opinion. You then considered contacting her, but got upset when she declined to meet with you.

Let me guess, texting with her for a few more days will just raise more questions about how you should proceed and you'll hope that she will give you a different answer the more you wait.

Fella, if she did, you're just prolonging a decision on something that is already out of your control.

At this point you're not looking for advice on that intermediary and it's time to close it down a bit. If you're getting dismissive answers take a hint to mean like she'd rather not talk and dilute it down to boredom or something friends with occasional benefits say. If you're shooting down your other dating apps or social events to make sure you can see her soon, move along, she doesn't need much more from you. Don't defend why things shouldn't have been a certain way because someone likes your attention or somewhere in between.

I'm not saying this to be mean but it officially sounds like you're genuinely fried.

[Sony12]

10 minutes ago, seany25 said:

We have had several intensely passionate encounters over the month, for sure. From some of our chats, she is open to casual, or exploring something more long-term. However, I've learned that nice conversations like that don't always materialise in the way you hoped. I told her I was also open to exploring more than casual but that it would be unwise to jump in too fast, which she agrees with.

I can't be 100% sure she's not seeing anyone else although I'm pretty sure there was/has been nobody else over the last month. That's not to say she isn't seeing someone this weekend. She might be, she might not be. I do not know, nor is it any of my business.

I'm not kidding, on Christmas day I walked in and she was sat on a rug in front of the fire waiting for me in a Mrs Claus style nightie with a little white blouse over her shoulders drinking a glass of wine, and when I sat down to embrace her I noticed that her skin was covered in glitter 😲🔥

It was an utterly mind-blowing and thoughtful gift she presented me with. I've never met anyone like her, and that's why I'm so enamoured. It's like every encounter with her makes me even more hooked, and I understand why... and that, in turn, is why I probably freak out a little at the first sign of things "fading out" 🫠 because I do not want them to.

 

Yeah given what you said what she did and was wearing when you showed up at her house I don't think she is looking for anything more than a fantasy scenario from you. Are you two about the same age or is she a little older? You mentioned you had sex in her car and went over to her house. Often times that happens when the woman is a bit older than the guy.

[seany25]

5 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

You're making excuses and expressing regret, which implies you are too worried about her opinion. You then considered contacting her, but got upset when she declined to meet with you.

Let me guess, texting with her for a few more days will just raise more questions about how you should proceed and you'll hope that she will give you a different answer the more you wait.

Fella, if she did, you're just prolonging a decision on something that is already out of your control.

At this point you're not looking for advice on that intermediary and it's time to close it down a bit. If you're getting dismissive answers take a hint to mean like she'd rather not talk and dilute it down to boredom or something friends with occasional benefits say. If you're shooting down your other dating apps or social events to make sure you can see her soon, move along, she doesn't need much more from you. Don't defend why things shouldn't have been a certain way because someone likes your attention or somewhere in between.

I'm not saying this to be mean but it officially sounds like you're genuinely fried.

Thanks, I hear ya... but is it not reasonable to consider that we had talked about being clear with each other instead of letting things go south without calling it out, or is that an excuse too? ... I mean, I do understand it would put me in a very weak position to come across like "plzzz, nooo, don't do this, we so great together" but I absolutely hate the idea of going through the "ghosting" experience again; especially now that we have been so intensely intimate.

When you say fried, what do you mean specifically? (because culturally that word means different things). Do you mean I sound like I'm crazy? ... In the UK fried generally means that a situation has "fried" your head/brain, not that you are inherently mad or crazy. In this case, my head is indeed fried, i,e. my emotions are all over the place (whilst at the same time being a normal human being 🙃)

[Alpacalia]

2 minutes ago, seany25 said:

Thanks, I hear ya... but is it not reasonable to consider that we had talked about being clear with each other instead of letting things go south without calling it out, or is that an excuse too? ... I mean, I do understand it would put me in a very weak position to come across like "plzzz, nooo, don't do this, we so great together" but I absolutely hate the idea of going through the "ghosting" experience again; especially now that we have been so intensely intimate.

When you say fried, what do you mean specifically? (because culturally that word means different things). Do you mean I sound like I'm crazy? ... In the UK fried generally means that a situation has "fried" your head/brain, not that you are inherently mad or crazy. In this case, my head is indeed fried, i,e. my emotions are all over the place (whilst at the same time being a normal human being 🙃)

She dresses up scantily, has sex with you, then she dismisses you says you just are there to have sex with her.

Yep, head games. 

I know you want to keep things going with her because of your history and feelings for her, but red flags are everywhere . Every woman in the world knows what types of signals she's giving off, with sexual chemistry coupled with hot and cold messaging. And she knows you'll keep coming back even when she puts you down. No, she is appearing to (very calculated) put you down and keep you a bit in the dark with her cryptic hot and cold messages. It costs her nothing to keep playing you along by giving you just enough breadcrumbs to make you think a romantic relationship could go anywhere.

[Sony12]

When things are casual there really is no obligation to end it properly. Basically casual means you are mainly around one another for sexual purposes (and perhaps you enjoy each other's company as well). Unless you have mutually agreed to become exclusive either of you can bug out anytime you wish and it isn't necessary to explain yourself to the other.

[seany25]

28 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

Yeah given what you said what she did and was wearing when you showed up at her house I don't think she is looking for anything more than a fantasy scenario from you. Are you two about the same age or is she a little older? You mentioned you had sex in her car and went over to her house. Often times that happens when the woman is a bit older than the guy.

Almost all of this has been fantasy-like. From the car embrace to the chance encounter to the Christmas day scene. I'm fine with that, but in an ideal world I get to have much more of it with her. Perhaps I will, I mean, the tables have already turned in my favour with her before and by all means, will do again at some point.

We are almost exactly the same age. She's literally only a couple of days younger than me.

20 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

She dresses up scantily, has sex with you, then she dismisses you says you just are there to have sex with her.

Yep, head games. 

I know you want to keep things going with her because of your history and feelings for her, but red flags are everywhere . Every woman in the world knows what types of signals she's giving off, with sexual chemistry coupled with hot and cold messaging. And she knows you'll keep coming back even when she puts you down. No, she is appearing to (very calculated) put you down and keep you a bit in the dark with her cryptic hot and cold messages. It costs her nothing to keep playing you along by giving you just enough breadcrumbs to make you think a romantic relationship could go anywhere.

I was thinking similarly; one day we're ripping each others clothes off in a car, and another day she's brushing me off. Having said that, I do still feel like I was in the wrong and that even though we have had those intense days and nights together, I feel like I still have to earn her and should respect her (which I appreciate) because despite what some might suppose based on us jumping into the back seat together during the day, she is a high quality and credible woman.

She's a coquette. I've experienced the carrot on a string type relationship before and can understand exactly why I'm feeling the way I do but it's not simple to just shake off when you have been so deeply seduced.

18 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

When things are casual there really is no obligation to end it properly. Basically casual means you are mainly around one another for sexual purposes (and perhaps you enjoy each other's company as well). Unless you have mutually agreed to become exclusive either of you can bug out anytime you wish and it isn't necessary to explain yourself to the other.

Appreciate that. Makes sense. I don't have any right to ask for any type of explanation.

Surely, however, it's not unreasonable to ask for clarification on what's happening between you if someone goes quiet, even if you were just hooking up?

Edited January 6 by seany25

[Alpacalia]

13 minutes ago, seany25 said:

I was thinking similarly; one day we're ripping each others clothes off in a car, and another day she's brushing me off. Having said that, I do still feel like I was in the wrong and that even though we have had those intense days and nights together, I feel like I still have to earn her and should respect her (which I appreciate) because despite what some might suppose based on us jumping into the back seat together during the day, she is a high quality and credible woman.

She's a coquette. I've experienced the carrot on a string type relationship before and can understand exactly why I'm feeling the way I do but it's not simple to just shake off when you have been so deeply seduced.

You're hooked by intermittent reinforcement with sex while you continue pursuing this woman recreating the high and emotional roller coaster you once experienced.

No one is forcing you into a decision and forcing your hand on what will you do next. Either confront her on being distant/different - or wait it out and see how it goes. You don't have to cull things unless you are ostracizing and guilting yourself into banging your head out of frustration or guilt or even drug-activated regression. It's okay if she's still the vid of desire and admiration, too.

Just don't prop her so high up on a pedestal - it reeks of weak dependence.

But now the ball is, and has been in your court - do with it as you genuinely wish.

She can jump out of the frying pan and be with someone else while she's dangling this volatile hook in your face. It's a classic passive aggressive dynamic - if you haven't noticed that already. That happens when you're too busy enjoying the chase and until you catch her, the sex games and all the drama entwined there together are addictive and engaging enough to keep the bite on the leash a little while longer.

Edited January 6 by Alpacalia

[Sony12]

It's not unreasonable but at the same time if you are looking for more of a connection with someone than just sex it's best to not get involved with a lady who does guys on the first date outside of a restaurant.

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, seany25 said:

 👋 erm... na I'm kinda busy today x":

"Alritey.. hope you're okay 🩷"

, I just need to know the best way to raise it/what to say.

Did  you leave it at "alritey"? . Why not give her a sincere decent answer? For example asking her out in advance for another time?

Since you're not exclusive and she's quite adventurous, she may indeed be busy, so ask her out for some other time. There's nothing to "discuss" because at this point you're just casual .

Edited January 6 by Wiseman2

[basil67]

1 hour ago, seany25 said:

Surely, however, it's not unreasonable to ask for clarification on what's happening between you if someone goes quiet, even if you were just hooking up?

Sure you can ask.  But the obvious answer is that (for her) this is a no strings scenario, and she'll probably just put you in your place.  You can willingly accept this or end it - the choice is yours.

You say that you're not willing to let this fizzle out.  But a relationship takes two and you really don't get a say in whether or not it fizzles out

[seany25]

2 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

You're hooked by intermittent reinforcement with sex while you continue pursuing this woman recreating the high and emotional roller coaster you once experienced.

No one is forcing you into a decision and forcing your hand on what will you do next. Either confront her on being distant/different - or wait it out and see how it goes. You don't have to cull things unless you are ostracizing and guilting yourself into banging your head out of frustration or guilt or even drug-activated regression. It's okay if she's still the vid of desire and admiration, too.

Just don't prop her so high up on a pedestal - it reeks of weak dependence.

But now the ball is, and has been in your court - do with it as you genuinely wish.

She can jump out of the frying pan and be with someone else while she's dangling this volatile hook in your face. It's a classic passive aggressive dynamic - if you haven't noticed that already. That happens when you're too busy enjoying the chase and until you catch her, the sex games and all the drama entwined there together are addictive and engaging enough to keep the bite on the leash a little while longer.

 

31 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Sure you can ask.  But the obvious answer is that (for her) this is a no strings scenario, and she'll probably just put you in your place.  You can willingly accept this or end it - the choice is yours.

You say that you're not willing to let this fizzle out.  But a relationship takes two and you really don't get a say in whether or not it fizzles out

I think the best thing for me to do at this point is to just chill. If she doesn't contact me in the next few days I can check to see if she's available next weekend and go from there.

Whilst there does appear to be some power thing going on - where I'm the puppet - I don't need to/shouldn't turn it into some big soap drama scene where there must be an ultimatum requested of which the outcome has to be either we are doing this or we aren't. I can/should just relax and play it cool, and refrain from confrontation. If I start demanding answers I will only dig myself a hole from which it will be difficult to get out. If, at some point, she was to come back with the "I thought you were disinterested" line again, I can firmly state that there's no way she could possibly have believed so. Maybe she's testing me to find out if I'll be a needy little so-and-so.

Equally, with regards to my concern about things "fizzling out", if I am to completely back-off in response to her seeming to back off a bit, then I'd be partly responsible for the fizzling out. So, it's probably best for me to, since I hope for us to stay in each others lives in any capacity (I'm cool with casual or serious), that even if her responses die down a bit, to not start getting confrontational or demanding an ultimatum. Then I can hit her up now and again to see what she's up to and find out if she'd like to accompany me on whatever cool or interesting thing I'm doing, or just go on a spontaneous day out, or whatever.

It could be, although this is probably more of a wishful thought than a realistic one, that she's playing hot and cold because she wants me to be hooked on her in order to eventually have me all to herself and she's been playing these games to make me fall for her.

Yeah, that's probably like a 1% chance 😄 but a guy can dream!

[seany25]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Did  you leave it at "alritey"? . Why not give her a sincere decent answer? For example asking her out in advance for another time?

Since you're not exclusive and she's quite adventurous, she may indeed be busy, so ask her out for some other time. There's nothing to "discuss" because at this point you're just casual .

Yeah I just left it at that. I considered saying "another time then" or something to that effect but I'm glad I didn't. I'd be cringing now 🫠 I decided I can always try again in a few days.

[ShyViolet]

Here we go again.  You were given pages and pages and pages of advice in your other thread about this woman.  This is simply the same pattern and the same exact situation continuing. I strongly suggest you go back and just read the good advice that was given to you in that other thread.  This woman was never very interested in you, she just hangs out with you when she has nothing else better to do, and then she goes cold and brushes you off.  The more you desperately chase her the more she is going to keep repeating this cycle, because she simply isn't very interested in you.  I don't know how long it's going to take you to see that.

You seem determined to be dense and not take any advice that is given to you here so I'm not sure why you keep posting.

[ShyViolet]

3 minutes ago, seany25 said:

It could be, although this is probably more of a wishful thought than a realistic one, that she's playing hot and cold because she wants me to be hooked on her in order to eventually have me all to herself and she's been playing these games to make me fall for her.

 

This tells me that not a single bit of advice that was given to you in your other epic thread about this woman has registered or sunk in.  You seem determined to live in a fantasy world.

[Wiseman2]

8 minutes ago, seany25 said:

. I considered saying "another time then" or something to that effect but I'm glad I didn't. I'd be cringing now.

Agree "another time then" is just as cringe worthy as "alritey". Ask her out for a mutually convenient time in the near future.

Keep in mind you're not exclusive so she probably is busy entertaining others and dating so asking in a grown up way in advance could help your quest to get cozy with her again.

Probably best to lay off the pick-up artist tricks and negs like mentioning other women. As you found out, it backfired and that could be another reason she's "busy". And you're getting the hand wave emoji as opposed to hearts you're sending her. 

Edited January 6 by Wiseman2

[basil67]

22 minutes ago, seany25 said:

Equally, with regards to my concern about things "fizzling out", if I am to completely back-off in response to her seeming to back off a bit, then I'd be partly responsible for the fizzling out. So, it's probably best for me to, since I hope for us to stay in each others lives in any capacity (I'm cool with casual or serious), that even if her responses die down a bit, to not start getting confrontational or demanding an ultimatum. Then I can hit her up now and again to see what she's up to and find out if she'd like to accompany me on whatever cool or interesting thing I'm doing, or just go on a spontaneous day out, or whatever.

It could be, although this is probably more of a wishful thought than a realistic one, that she's playing hot and cold because she wants me to be hooked on her in order to eventually have me all to herself and she's been playing these games to make me fall for her.

Yeah, that's probably like a 1% chance 😄 but a guy can dream!

You sound like you think you have any say in how this goes down.  If she fizzles, there's absolutely NOTHING you can do about it. 

Sitting on the sidelines, living in a fantasy world while pretending to be cool with her being super casual isn't going to change anything about what she may or may not do.  I highly suggest you work on getting a grip

 

[seany25]

29 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

Here we go again.  You were given pages and pages and pages of advice in your other thread about this woman.  This is simply the same pattern and the same exact situation continuing. I strongly suggest you go back and just read the good advice that was given to you in that other thread.  This woman was never very interested in you, she just hangs out with you when she has nothing else better to do, and then she goes cold and brushes you off.  The more you desperately chase her the more she is going to keep repeating this cycle, because she simply isn't very interested in you.  I don't know how long it's going to take you to see that.

Maybe I do see it. Maybe I see it and I don't really care if she's only mildly interested in me because having her in any capacity is better than not having her at all. She has blown hot and cold, tho. When we are together she's very intimate, caring, sensual, and comes across like she see's more in me. So, it's puzzling to some extent.

22 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Agree "another time then" is just as cringe worthy as "alritey". Ask her out for a mutually convenient time in the near future.

Keep in mind you're not exclusive so she probably is busy entertaining others and dating so asking in a grown up way in advance could help your quest to get cozy with her again.

Probably best to lay off the pick-up artist tricks and negs like mentioning other women. As you found out, it backfired and that could be another reason she's "busy". And you're getting the hand wave emoji as opposed to hearts you're sending her. 

I wasn't digging you. Alritey is a term I use and have used with her before. It's no biggie.

The negging stuff wasn't even intentional. I'd had my first drink in a year and just said something idiotic. But it could be at least partly the reason she's gone a bit cold, having had time for that comment to stew. I agree it was bad timing, but it's not like it's something super horrible like cheating.

[Sony12]

This lady is 37? Does she have any kids? Is she using sex as a way to cope with depression?

You mentioned you spent Christmas around one another. Do either of you have families to spend the holidays with?

[seany25]

2 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

This lady is 37? Does she have any kids? Is she using sex as a way to cope with depression?

You mentioned you spent Christmas around one another. Do either of you have families to spend the holidays with?

Yes, yes, and maybe.

And yes, on Christmas day we were with our families and then spent the evening and night together.

[seany25]

13 minutes ago, basil67 said:

You sound like you think you have any say in how this goes down.  If she fizzles, there's absolutely NOTHING you can do about it. 

Sitting on the sidelines, living in a fantasy world while pretending to be cool with her being super casual isn't going to change anything about what she may or may not do.  I highly suggest you work on getting a grip

I guess you're right. I probably don't have much of a say and perhaps I can only, at best, be on the side-line. If I'm okay with that, then that's not really a problem.

I have more of a grip now than I did before thanks to spending some quality time with her over the holidays. Whereas before, I was flapping a bit at the worry of not seeing her again.

Edited January 6 by seany25

[basil67]

6 minutes ago, seany25 said:

If I'm okay with that, then that's not really a problem.

Given the amount of mental energy you're putting into this, you won't be OK with it

[Sony12]

Seamy I highly suggest you find someone who is more of a catch than this lady is. She very well might be fabulous in the bedroom (after all it sounds like she gets a lot of practice) but to be honest at the same time she sounds like a bit of a mess. 

Take the bedroom experiences you learned from this lady and find someone who actually is willing to have a relationship with you. Because this lady just sounds like someone who is using sex as a way of covering up some life issues she has.