Valentines day: good idea, bad idea?

[ExpatInItaly]

15 hours ago, ZA Dater said:

As usual I am devoid of viable alternatives so I guess I'll need to try make the best of whatever friendship is offered. 

Why do you need to be friends with her? 

Another alternative is to let her go altogether. How do you know her? 

[ZA Dater]

53 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Why do you need to be friends with her? 

Another alternative is to let her go altogether. How do you know her? 

Because I actually enjoy spending time with her, this in itself is something I struggle to find. I suppose on some level she is also exactly the sort of person I would want to date so friendship could get me 50% of what I like. Flawed logic yes.

What I tend to land up with are these sorts of superficial "friendships" where it only works to the extent I have something to offer that the other person wants, soon as that novelty has worn off these people to disappear.

Re read a lot of the posts and wondered why I even thought roses were a good idea to begin with, my logic is clearly very poor and I guess heavily influenced by people I know who are attractive enough to actually be able to do something like that. 

[ZA Dater]

12 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

@ZA Dater

Don't throw in the towel.  Just adjust your mindset.  A date is a venue / activity specifically designed to get to know somebody.  View it that way so you will be more sure of yourself when you ask somebody for that initial date. 

I struggle with this to be honest, I agree with you but it just seems the perception the way others see me is not in the context of dating. I have met her for coffee before, that was not a date, she asked to meet for  a coffee again to catch up, I suggested breakfast but again no communication so it would seem this is another lost cause. In short I have had a breakfast, a coffee and then I asked for another breakfast. I think its obvious even to me that this person is not remotely interested but to be fair that is not completely surprising.

Gifting I thought may revive this a bit but again judgement is not great on that. Gifting is something I have tried to rely on overly to try and show some sort of interest, the problem is as people have pointed out this is very flawed, actually does more harm than good. A friend is very good at the gifting balance, he is attractive enough that he has interest so gifting builds on that whereas I tend to try gifting as a way try generate interest, which is very flawed but again some people do seem to get this right to some extent at least in the short term.

As can be seen my judgement is exceptionally poor...in respect of this at least.