When you just should have shut up. Venting.

[SoulOfOne]

Have you ever started to have a conversation based on good intentions but are left feeling unheard and as if you should have shut up?

Ugh. I'm to blame for my "I should have shut up."

Work. I am a senior employee with more education, training and experience than my coworkers and management. What I lack, is a title. I never needed it or wanted it though. I share in influence.  I am respected generally. People come to me for advice and counsel and training. Even management who are new to the industry.  I'm well paid. We all should function independently as employees. They know I know what I'm doing. My product is always professional. No complaints about me. Pretty sweet gig.  I do LOVE my job and when I noticed that a male co worker "Q" who is generally liked and a member of the good old Boys club clique was being talked about, I sat back and watched a bit. Observation.  It was getting worse and worse. Dropping balls, getting defensive with others and producing sub standard work was going unchecked by anyone because of who he is.  Excused as "Q's just busy" while other employees complained behind his back. I decided to look closer to see what others were complaining about. I pulled some of his work and it was simply BAD- poor based on our standards. As it reflects on all of us in team work, I decided to have a talk with a trusted co-worker who happens to have a supervisor title. Even HE has said to me that I know more about the business than him. I said-have you been hearing the employee chatter about his work?  

Mr Title said to me, "oh everyone loves Q. His work is just fine. People love Q."

I say, "All due respect, have you SEEN any of what he's been doing?  Honestly looked?"

He looked at me and admitted, "No."  I said, Then HOW CAN YOU SAY HIS WORK IS FINE?  Please LOOK FOR YOURSELF! YOU HAVE THE TITLE THAT PUTS YOU IN CHARGE OF HIM!!"

He knows me and knows my standards match his work ethic. He looked.  I came back later and asked again, "Is the work FINE?"   He bowed his head and embarrassed said-No. You were right. It's awful. Lazy. Bad." He admits to me "I never checked him because of who he is." (Socially)😬🙄

He said he was a little ashamed that I called him out for being the supervisor and NOT doing his job.  I explained, I was not trying to call you out for not doing your job. I was trying to bring attention to the fact that this employee is basically mailing it all in, lazy. It's up to you to have the talk with him. Because I am not in a position to. 

He ended up talking to him. Then comes to me and tells me how it went (not my place to even hear). He seemed proud of what he had done "current work is not good. Q-YOU are GREAT when you work with X and y people. You should work with them because they make you better."

One problem...

X and Y DONT EVEN WORK IN OUR DEPARTMENT and X and Ys supervisor ALREADY SAID THEY ARE NOT TO BE HELPING in our department.

Problem 2, if you NEED X AND Y to do your job and cannot do it alone, that is an issue.  Q SHOULD be able to function WITHOUT X and Y. Q SHOULD be able to function independently. Everyone else does!

So rather than address the real issue with Q, Mr Title has decided Q's value is only with X and Y. Said he WANTS X and Y helping Q.  Doesn't care if their supervisor said no.

I'm banging my head. 

I should have just stayed QUIET and let Q go unchecked and let HIS product stink. Now Mr Title has just enabled Q.

Lesson learned.  I should stay in my own pool. Let the dumpster fire happen around me. 

 

 

[Alpacalia]

Yeah, sometimes it's better to just stay quiet and focus on doing your own job well. It can be frustrating when you see a coworker not pulling their weight or producing subpar work, but ultimately it's not your responsibility to fix it. It's up to the supervisor to address any performance issues. As disappointing as it may be, sometimes our good intentions can backfire and create more problems. Choose battles wisely and know when to let things go.

[Wiseman2]

 Please always remember your Miranda rights.

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you".

Every time you're tempted to opine, hold off for a moment and reflect on that. 

[SoulOfOne]

It will be my mantra going forward..In all walks of life.  Deep breath and silence.

Edited January 18 by SoulOfOne

[MsJayne]

On the upside, your supervisor was big enough to admit he hadn't really been been supervising. Being a female in a Boys Club work environment can test your tolerance to it's absolute limit, and sometimes it can be very difficult to stay quiet. But if you do speak up, as you've just experienced, when there's a social element involved, you're barking into the wind. The Q's of the workforce are intensely irritating, coasting along on the talents and efforts of other people, but they're usually a certain type of engaging personality who manages to charm less observant people very easily. It can be particularly irritating when your boss thinks the sun shines out of them. You've drawn attention to it, other staff are having a whinge behind his back, maybe best to now just let it take it's course. 

[LatinCoffee]

Mom would always tell me this when I was a teenager...

'Observe and stay silent!' 'Stay in your lane!! 

As an adult, I'm still learning to do this.

[Foxhall]

I suppose if I come at it from the guys angle,

 

he may have something going on in his life and feels depressed about something- he wants to coast along and not have excessive work hassle,

 

hes hoping he will get away without too much comment, but ultimately Im sure he is not surprised either he will expect some backlash from colleagues,

even though he may appear to have won on this occasion-he also knows eyes are watching- so you've probably achieved something.

overall a shut mouth catches no flies but I can understand  why you said it of course.