lovers Posted January 18, 2024 Posted January 18, 2024 (edited) This girl I am seeing talks to this coworker. They sat in the car together and he was consoling her before about her past situations before we were together. This guy has a history of being in jail before, he also stole another married guys girlfriend. They got in a fight. Now hes married with that guys gf now and has a kid with her. At first she telling me oh they are just friends this and that, but he starts being more forward saying "do you miss me" when she was on vacation. She didn't respond back. Then he mentioned that he micro cheats but wouldn't go all the way with a girl. I am telling her that I know how guys are and his intentions and the girl I am seeing saying hes just real friendly and I am like hes not that friendly with me lol. I know him as well. He ain't texting me alot and saying stuff like that with me lol. Then she says that hes not a cheater people change and should not look at the past. I am like yeah people change but people's history says alot about them as a person and even what I am seeing now he didn't change. What do you think? The main argument I am having is that the guy didn't change he is still the same person and she doesn't see it. Edited January 18, 2024 by lovers
d0nnivain Posted January 18, 2024 Posted January 18, 2024 She doesn't want to see it. Some part of her likes him, likes the attention . . . he's the classic bad boy. They may be "just friends" now but only because he hasn't found the right opportunity yet. I'm not going to say she's "dumb" but she may be a bit naive. 2
ZA Dater Posted January 18, 2024 Posted January 18, 2024 1 hour ago, d0nnivain said: She doesn't want to see it. Some part of her likes him, likes the attention . . . In this situation this would seem to be the truth, often people love attention so much they do not take not of other more negative aspects associated with that attention.
Wiseman2 Posted January 18, 2024 Posted January 18, 2024 3 hours ago, lovers said: The main argument I am having is that the guy didn't change he is still the same person and she doesn't see it. Are you dating? She will come to her own conclusions no matter how much you dislike this guy. Why exactly are you trying to influence her?
stillafool Posted January 18, 2024 Posted January 18, 2024 I agree with dOnnivain that your girl likes the attention of the bad boy and doesn't want it to stop. I also agree when he gets the right opportunity he'll make his move and she will go for it. I think she knows what he's up to and she likes it. 2
Alpacalia Posted January 18, 2024 Posted January 18, 2024 (edited) It's concerning that your coworker has a history of cheating and being in jail, and even more concerning that the person you're seeing is choosing to continue talking to him and potentially being friends with him. It raises questions about her judgement and the people she surrounds herself with. While people can change, it's important to pay attention to actions rather than just words. If your coworker's behavior hasn't changed, it's best to trust your instincts and distance yourself from him. This may also mean keeping your distance from the girl you're seeing. Edited January 18, 2024 by Alpacalia 1
Wiseman2 Posted January 18, 2024 Posted January 18, 2024 10 hours ago, lovers said: This girl I am seeing talks to this coworker. Are you dating or hoping to date her? Do you feel if you enlighten her about his bad habits that you would have a chance with her? Unfortunately, you can't rescue people from themselves. In fact she's already defending him because things like this tend to backfire.
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