About to attend to a social gathering that my ex will be present.

[Sulleeenfield]

Hey

So I had a pretty bad break up roughly 2 years ago with a woman I really enjoyed being with. Things didn't work out I decided never to talk to her again once she left.

So Saturday there's this concert I really want to go to because my friends are gonna be there. I know for a fact my ex is going to be there also. I figured after 2 years I shouldn't let this previous relationship get in the way of things.

Any of you ever went through something similar? How did you approached this situation? Should I expect bullshit with this person that hurt me years ago?

 

[Wiseman2]

12 minutes ago, Sulleeenfield said:

Hey

So I had a pretty bad break up roughly 2 years ago with a woman I really enjoyed being with. Things didn't work out I decided never to talk to her again once she left.

So Saturday there's this concert I really want to go to because my friends are gonna be there. I know for a fact my ex is going to be there also. 

Go have fun and try to avoid her. She may be with a date anyway so don't worry about BS.  How do you "know for a fact she'll be there"?  Are you still in the same friend groups or watching each other's social media? 

[Sulleeenfield]

1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

Go have fun and try to avoid her. She may be with a date anyway so don't worry about BS.  How do you "know for a fact she'll be there"?  Are you still in the same friend groups or watching each other's social media? 

We are both musicians and the circle in our city is pretty small. I don't follow her on any social media platforms but sometimes bands will promote their concerts and word/information is gets out there.

Like I'm not mad at her or even care about the previous events. I'm still apprehensive.

[Alpacalia]

It's been two years since your break up and a lot can change in that time.

You never know, your ex might have matured and moved on as well. 

If she approaches you, be polite but don't feel pressure to have a long conversation. Just keep it brief and move on. Hopefully she won't try to create any issues and you both can peacefully coexist in the same place without any issues.

[MsJayne]

2 hours ago, Sulleeenfield said:

Any of you ever went through something similar?

Yes, don't worry about it. If you cross paths be polite, but otherwise you don't even need to acknowledge the person. 

[ShyViolet]

You can't let the fact that your ex is out in the world stop you from living your life.  Go to the concert and don't live in fear of running into her.  If you do see her, just don't acknowledge her.  If you can't avoid her and she says anything to you, just give a very neutral and matter-of-fact "Hi" as if to a distant acquaintance, and keep walking.

[basil67]

Go along.  Be happy and confident. If you run into her, be pleasant but don't overdo it.

[d0nnivain]

I'm glad you are not letting the possibility of her presence dissuade you from attending.   You make sure you look good; dress sharp!  You plaster a smile on your face.  If you see her, you give a closed mouth, half smile with your lips pressed together & a curt nod of the head in acknowledgement but no more.  If she approaches you, then you can make 2-3 minutes of banal small talk  e.g.  "great concert, isn't it?"  Do not get into person stuff, not even "how've you been?"   After no more than 5 minutes you find a reason to exit the conversation. 

The key is "never let 'em see you sweat."  You remain polite but aloof