How to cope with date, dating others.

[Alpacalia]

1 hour ago, Lifeasasignlelady22 said:

He apologised and deleted the apps. He explained he didn't think I was 100% into him and he wasn't sure I would stick around

So he's using the dating apps as a ***safeguard*** perhaps? In any event, glad you had the opening you needed for communication and understanding. Too bad he wasn't more honest with you without you having to question him directly but perhaps this was him taking ownership of his part in the dynamic?

Interesting.

Edited January 27, 2024 by Alpacalia

[Lifeasasignlelady22]

On 1/27/2024 at 8:22 PM, Alpacalia said:

So he's using the dating apps as a ***safeguard*** perhaps? In any event, glad you had the opening you needed for communication and understanding. Too bad he wasn't more honest with you without you having to question him directly but perhaps this was him taking ownership of his part in the dynamic?

Interesting.

Yea I am glad we had the conversation which funnily enough has helped progress the relationship we see each other more now. He even told me that I make him smile for no reason, and that he is really enjoying spending time with me.

I no longer have my doubts about his sincerity or where its progressing. Its progressing at the speed its meant too and I am very happy about that. 

[BaileyB]

56 minutes ago, Lifeasasignlelady22 said:

I no longer have my doubts about his sincerity or where its progressing.

That’s wonderful. I hope it works out.

It’s understandable that he was guarded, because you were likely guarded - particularly at the beginning of the relationship and if you had concern that he was possibly dating others. Hopefully you can really get to know and trust each other. 

 

[giotto]

On 1/27/2024 at 7:22 PM, Lifeasasignlelady22 said:

He assured me that he hasn't suffered with depression in over 4 years but he takes his medication just in case.

Well, the medications would stop him suffering from depression. There is something off here, but I can't put my finger on it... 

[Alpacalia]

1 hour ago, Lifeasasignlelady22 said:

Yea I am glad we had the conversation which funnily enough has helped progress the relationship we see each other more now. He even told me that I make him smile for no reason, and that he is really enjoying spending time with me.

I no longer have my doubts about his sincerity or where its progressing. Its progressing at the speed its meant too and I am very happy about that. 

I'm very happy that things are progressing. You got past your anxiety - yea!

I am still unclear where his lack of certainty to the extent he needed to use a dating app as a safeguard but that's a judgement call for you to make. I just want you to move forward with your eyes open.

I know dating early on can involve multiple dates. I think in this case, you already share a certain rhythm with him which usually means good things - usually. In any event, I'm glad the communication afforded you both the clarity you needed to get past both your anxieties and fears. It's a start.

[Gaeta]

Good job for talking to him! It's so much simpler when we're transparent, honest, and don't play dating games. 

[stillafool]

On 1/22/2024 at 11:06 AM, Lifeasasignlelady22 said:

I think the above is what worries me it also doesn't help he is very hard to read as a person.

This is all the more reason to have a conversation with him to find out where you stand.  This should have happened before sex but definitely now that you're developing feelings for him.