My boyfriend's threatening friendship with another girl

[SallyO676]

Hi everyone.

 

Here's my problem. I am a senior in high school. I've been dating an amazing guy for 5 years. We are in love. Lately, we've become kind of distant. We argue all the time over the stupidest things. I mean really stupid. I can be a very jealous person. My boyfriend, met this freshman girl, in the beginning of the school year. She looks older than me, and supposedly, acts older and maturer. My boyfriend joined a choral group of 10 people with her and they see each other alot. Recently, they have been hanging out together outside of school. I've even seen them playing tennis! They walk together in the hallways and he has her laughing and he has the look on his face that makes me want to scream. I'm so jealous it's not even funny. I recently learned that she likes him alot. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid she is coming between us. I know I always bug him about hanging out with other girls. I'm proably a bit overprotective. But, he's good looking and great. Who wouldn't be?

 

Please give me some advice!

[Judas Christian]

Teenage emotions are a bit harsh, as i recall, so my approaching this with an adult perspective may not help you much. But here goes-

 

There's nothing good that comes from being possessive. Possession and control are two things that don't belong in human relationships. We can all be guilty of it, but we must always strive to better ourselves and get away from that behavior. Regarding your boyfriend, there's nothing inherently wrong with having friends of the opposite sex. However, experience tells us that platonic friendships between attracting opposites are, unfortunately, the exception and not the rule. So, it's difficult to say what's going on in your situation, not knowing anything about your boyfriend or the other girl. It's basically this simple, though - you will only drive yourself crazy trying to control his behavior. Instead, look at it this way: if he is true to you, wonderful - if he isn't, it's his loss. Don't make him responsible for your feelings. In other words, don't put your own self worth and esteem in the hands of someone else. Love yourself first. You're the only person who can truly change your innermost feelings.