Author zouzd Posted February 2 Author Share Posted February 2 5 hours ago, Els said: The reason I'm mentioning your previous posts is that you've asked the same questions and received the same advice repeatedly, at which point you usually abandon the thread and then start a new one. If you just want to vent and not receive advice then fair enough, but I think in that case you should specifically mention that you're not looking for advice, so that people don't waste their time writing pages and pages of advice to you. Honest question, have you ever taken ANY advice given to you over the 20+ posts you have made here complaining about your wife? There must be at least 100 suggestions in people's replies to you over your time on LS. Even here, in my post to you I made 3 suggestions, but you have ignored all of them in your 1000-word long post back to me. thats your opinion, which i can benefit from it where there is benefit, or ignore suggestions when they look odd. no body can act here as a professional counselor ; LS is a platform were we vent, breath and read opinion, you gave 3 or more suggestions, i am free to consider them or not, if you feel that i am wasting your time simply dont jump and read Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 Are your children all above 20? Would a family intervention wake up your wife? Sometimes people are so focused on themselves they don't see how mean they've become. At some point myself and siblings had to tell our mother how agressive she was toward our father, she was shocked but that's when she openned up. She needed to feel heard without jugement. She has mellowed down since. Link to post Share on other sites
Author zouzd Posted February 2 Author Share Posted February 2 3 hours ago, Gaeta said: Are your children all above 20? Would a family intervention wake up your wife? Sometimes people are so focused on themselves they don't see how mean they've become. At some point myself and siblings had to tell our mother how agressive she was toward our father, she was shocked but that's when she openned up. She needed to feel heard without jugement. She has mellowed down since. they are 23,20,16. thats what i am counting on, the eldest travels a lot (4-5 tomes per month) and when she is available her wisdom is stabilizing a bit the situation, soon my other daughter is also moving to work in another country . they love her unconditionally of course, but they count on me on anything that requires patience and responsibilty handling; i try always to involve her so that she feels good;they are noticing her aggressiveness toward me ; the problem is that they fear that she would leave again like what happened five years back; at that time they felt guilty because they did put pressure on her on top of our problems . i am hoping that this will give her some room to realize and decide more aboit the future ; but still i have a long way to reach a win win situation but at least then with no reaponsibilities would ne in the middle and her intentions should be clearer. i am not expecting a 180 degree change,nor that she would accept MC;but it could be a milestone . but i am fighting my selfishness, being deprived from love, intomacy , kindness… it is very hard especially when one has to resist temptations. i recall sometime back i had a business trip to Vegas, it was vey hard for me to avoid slipping and cheating because i was deprived from love for a month or so. I am having a tough time ,especially when everything logical say that i should leave the marriage , because it is now toxic to both of us .i am not sure how she feels , but definetky she is not happy. it is sad Link to post Share on other sites
Lisa Posted February 2 Senior Moderators Share Posted February 2 (edited) Multiple accounts are not permitted on LS Edited February 2 by Lisa Link to post Share on other sites
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