Why did he leave my reply on read?

[stillafool]

1 minute ago, FastHeart said:

I knew how he looked like before we met. He is actually a bit fat, but I dont care. 

Did you tell him that?  If not, why?

[FastHeart]

And he is less online now since. He used to be online often. He is sometimes. So Im not blocked. But it might be a sign somethings up in hes life.

[d0nnivain]

If you want answers you will have to reach out to him, not us.  

All we can do is speculate. 

I suspect that he has self esteem issues over his weight & he's now gotten it into his head that he's not good enough.  

[FastHeart]

42 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

If you want answers you will have to reach out to him, not us.  

All we can do is speculate. 

I suspect that he has self esteem issues over his weight & he's now gotten it into his head that he's not good enough.  

Does it even seem like he likes me? for me it did. But I’m not a reader of toughts. 
 

Omg I have to. Have to be more brave. Im 32 and virgin. Because of afraidness. I feel ready for sex with this guy. 

[Alpacalia]

47 minutes ago, FastHeart said:

Does it even seem like he likes me? for me it did. But I’m not a reader of toughts. 
 

Omg I have to. Have to be more brave. Im 32 and virgin. Because of afraidness. I feel ready for sex with this guy. 

Try to scale back a little. It sounds like this guy may have started texting you last year because he found you interesting and he still might think you’re someone he wants to be in touch with. But if you think about what’s happened since last year, you’ve gone from posting in a forum about depression to where you’re at now: ready for sex with someone that you’ve met once and talked to for less than two weeks. When you do take the time to text him, hold back a bit. Really just keep it light right now.

I'd also like to suggest to take the time to work on some things. For one, try to make an effort to connect with friends and guys that you might find attractive. This will help you to keep perspective and to not get bogged down in one guy who has only met with you once for a short time. I know it’s way easier said than done. Just try your best.

Edited January 31, 2024 by Alpacalia

[Wiseman2]

42 minutes ago, FastHeart said:

. Im 32 and virgin. Because of afraidness. I feel ready for sex with this guy. 

I'm not sure why you can't send him a friendly text and invite him to something. You don't have to have sex right away but what is wrong with going out on dates getting to know each other and talking in person? 

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, FastHeart said:

Does it even seem like he likes me? for me it did. But I’m not a reader of toughts. 

Neither are we.  You have to talk to him.

[ShyViolet]

You need to remind yourself that this is a guy you met ONCE.  You were not in a relationship with him.  All the texting and communicating through FB or whatever else, it doesn't mean much.  You shouldn't be "sick" over a guy you met once.  If he was interested in you, he'd be reaching out to you.

[FastHeart]

42 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

You need to remind yourself that this is a guy you met ONCE.  You were not in a relationship with him.  All the texting and communicating through FB or whatever else, it doesn't mean much.  You shouldn't be "sick" over a guy you met once.  If he was interested in you, he'd be reaching out to you.

I’ve known all my life something is wrong with me. So many others are allowed to feel what they feel because they are made correct. 
Who the h*ll text someone that much without liking them? If I dont feel anything special to someone I would never keep conversations or write random stuff just to Get in touch. 

[FastHeart]

46 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

You need to remind yourself that this is a guy you met ONCE.  You were not in a relationship with him.  All the texting and communicating through FB or whatever else, it doesn't mean much.  You shouldn't be "sick" over a guy you met once.  If he was interested in you, he'd be reaching out to you.

So maybe just close the book? Always the boring side wins😒

[Kassieee]

Why not text one last time ask him how he's doing..? 

I'd call to see and hear his tone, if he sounds uninterested...bye..

[Wiseman2]

8 hours ago, FastHeart said:

 My feelings went stronger after our meeting. And this is the only guy who did know about my «off’s» and still wanted to spend time with me. We share a lot of the same story because he also has anxiety disorders and went to doctor for it. 

There's a few things going on. One is you're a bit disappointed he's not texting you as much as before. That's ok. The other thing is please take care of yourself and your physical and mental health. Please make an appointment with your therapist for ongoing support if you feel this anxious about a simple missed text. 

 

 

[d0nnivain]

3 hours ago, FastHeart said:

Does it even seem like he likes me? for me it did. But I’m not a reader of toughts. 
 

Omg I have to. Have to be more brave. Im 32 and virgin. Because of afraidness. I feel ready for sex with this guy. 

I don't know if he likes you.  I can't tell that without meeting him & seeing you two interact in person, which will never happen. 

As for the rest . . .NO!  You are nowhere near ready for sex with this guy or anybody else.   Please retain your virginity at least for the foreseeable future.   Sex is not all hearts & flowers.  It won't bind you together.  As a woman taking somebody inside your body is an incredibly intimate experience.  It feel like they can touch your soul but if that person is not on the same page as you, is not all in, is not in love where this will be forever & ever you are going to get incredibly hurt.  You might not recover.  You need to hold on to whatever enabled you to get this far  -- probably a deeply held belief about the scaredness & specialness of sex -- and not give it up until you have been dating somebody for a very long time -- at least more than one year -- before you change your status.  

I want you to be brave & ask this guy on a date so you can get to know each other.  I do not advocate you jumping into bed with him.  Hold hands.  Talk.  Work your way up to a make out session but go SLOW!  

[basil67]

56 minutes ago, FastHeart said:

Who the h*ll text someone that much without liking them? If I dont feel anything special to someone I would never keep conversations or write random stuff just to Get in touch. 

Lots of people.  I've had many 'pen pals' over the years (going back to when I was a teenager and we mailed letters).  I had one friend who was frequent with letters and then email started to be a thing and we emailed constantly.   It's faded now, but it was a very intense connection. 

I was reading back over your meet up.  Are you sure it was a date?  Because if you described it accurately, it could simply have been two online friends meeting face to face.   Did the conversation flow easily when you met?   Did the two of you flirt?  

And I agree that your response message was cool.  Though if he was keen, I doubt that that message alone would have caused him to back away

[FastHeart]

1 minute ago, d0nnivain said:

I don't know if he likes you.  I can't tell that without meeting him & seeing you two interact in person, which will never happen. 

As for the rest . . .NO!  You are nowhere near ready for sex with this guy or anybody else.   Please retain your virginity at least for the foreseeable future.   Sex is not all hearts & flowers.  It won't bind you together.  As a woman taking somebody inside your body is an incredibly intimate experience.  It feel like they can touch your soul but if that person is not on the same page as you, is not all in, is not in love where this will be forever & ever you are going to get incredibly hurt.  You might not recover.  You need to hold on to whatever enabled you to get this far  -- probably a deeply held belief about the scaredness & specialness of sex -- and not give it up until you have been dating somebody for a very long time -- at least more than one year -- before you change your status.  

I want you to be brave & ask this guy on a date so you can get to know each other.  I do not advocate you jumping into bed with him.  Hold hands.  Talk.  Work your way up to a make out session but go SLOW!  

Im 32. I know that when I feel it «down there» Im in love or have feelings. Maybe thats what I want, just the sex. Its not like I think about marry or move with him. 
I hate woman body, and feelings. We are such stupied creatures going owverwhelmed by feelings. I’ve had self discipline, and that did also make me unhappy. 
 

[FastHeart]

20 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Lots of people.  I've had many 'pen pals' over the years (going back to when I was a teenager and we mailed letters).  I had one friend who was frequent with letters and then email started to be a thing and we emailed constantly.   It's faded now, but it was a very intense connection. 

I was reading back over your meet up.  Are you sure it was a date?  Because if you described it accurately, it could simply have been two online friends meeting face to face.   Did the conversation flow easily when you met?   Did the two of you flirt?  

And I agree that your response message was cool.  Though if he was keen, I doubt that that message alone would have caused him to back away

Nobody of us said it was a date. It was him inviting me out. 
Conversation did flow easely. Dont know if we did flirt. I dont think so. He asked me again about my Ex bf. He’s been asking about my relationship in the text to. I broke up with my Ex last year, it was a long distance and big age gap. No future and we didn’t have sex. We were talking a lot. We simply had fun. But count this as flirting I dont know. I dont find it natural to touch or give lots of compliments in a first time meeting. 
 

But he has been flirting in the texts. Like telling me I’m cute and to beutiful to hang with him. 

My answer to this was «I have never tought about someone being to fat to hang with me». To this he said «thats good. Im looking forward to know you». 

[FastHeart]

30 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

There's a few things going on. One is you're a bit disappointed he's not texting you as much as before. That's ok. The other thing is please take care of yourself and your physical and mental health. Please make an appointment with your therapist for ongoing support if you feel this anxious about a simple missed text. 

 

 

No more time with terapists. Been to them many times and for years. They dont do anything actually. I have to fix on my own.

[FastHeart]

37 minutes ago, SlimShadysWife said:

Why not text one last time ask him how he's doing..? 

I'd call to see and hear his tone, if he sounds uninterested...bye..

I will never call, but I’ll probably text. Just have to calm down a little.

[FastHeart]

3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

I'm not sure why you can't send him a friendly text and invite him to something. You don't have to have sex right away but what is wrong with going out on dates getting to know each other and talking in person? 

I know I dont need to have sex. 
I will text, someday. If Im not so lucky that he text before.

Edited January 31, 2024 by FastHeart

[d0nnivain]

1 hour ago, FastHeart said:

Im 32. I know that when I feel it «down there» Im in love or have feelings. Maybe thats what I want, just the sex. Its not like I think about marry or move with him. 
I hate woman body, and feelings. We are such stupied creatures going owverwhelmed by feelings. I’ve had self discipline, and that did also make me unhappy. 
 

 

I am a woman.  Women -- as in plural, all of us -- are not stupid overly emotional creatures who lack self discipline.   Individual women may be that but most women I know & spend time with are thoughtful, successful, logical & driven.  They have many accomplishments. 

Love has absolutely nothing to do with being sexually attracted to somebody.  Love grows over time; attraction is instantaneous because it's solely about lust, chemistry, & physical characteristics.  Classic bad boys & consummate players are all about giving women the tingles "down there" as you put it but loving them is pernicious.  Sure the sex may be great but you will end up an emotional mess because they will never love you back.  

The right guy for you is probably going to be someone who is extremely happy & grateful that you waited.  He may also be the type that is judgmental & dismissive of non-virgins.  Don't throw that away lightly after all this time.  

 

[FastHeart]

27 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

 

I am a woman.  Women -- as in plural, all of us -- are not stupid overly emotional creatures who lack self discipline.   Individual women may be that but most women I know & spend time with are thoughtful, successful, logical & driven.  They have many accomplishments. 

Love has absolutely nothing to do with being sexually attracted to somebody.  Love grows over time; attraction is instantaneous because it's solely about lust, chemistry, & physical characteristics.  Classic bad boys & consummate players are all about giving women the tingles "down there" as you put it but loving them is pernicious.  Sure the sex may be great but you will end up an emotional mess because they will never love you back.  

The right guy for you is probably going to be someone who is extremely happy & grateful that you waited.  He may also be the type that is judgmental & dismissive of non-virgins.  Don't throw that away lightly after all this time.  

 

Ok then, I dont care if its called love or attraction. All I know is that I feel something for this guy. 
 

He is not the guy who goes to party to have one night stands. He wrote this at the site we are posting. He answered someone about something, and he also told me when he supported me about this. He had ons many years ago, and he didn’t understand why he did it. He regreted after. He wants someone to love him and to do more than just having sex. Again, this isn’t something he told me personal. He wrote it in a discussion about dating/relationship. 
 

A «bad boy»  is something he is not.

He seemed to me like a bit shy man. He was open about he’s anxiety issues. 
 

And that he knows these things about me and still wanted to hang out is something I like.

I’m just tired of ppl making me feel that its wrong to have these feelings. 
 

Always it is «this is not the man for you». This is not the first time I’ve felt something but the past times I acted hard to get to protect myself. Instead I sugffered for 3 years each guy because it was a mix of hope and hopelessnes. I know its not these guys fault, but now anyways, I like this guy and hope that I finally might have met the right. 

[stillafool]

Okay, since you're so sure about who this guy is and what he wants why do you need this forum?  You disagree with everything people here are telling you.  Just contact him and go for it.

[FastHeart]

20 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Okay, since you're so sure about who this guy is and what he wants why do you need this forum?  You disagree with everything people here are telling you.  Just contact him and go for it.

Im not 100%. Im just afraid Im doing something wrong.   The best thing would be to close the doors right? But Im tired of always having to use the boring way. 
 

Why are we learning that love is such a good thing when it is not? 
 

I will never meet someone either if I always have to look for that one perfect guy who is not a bad guy, keeps writing me, has no issues…. 
 

Am I sure who he is? I dont see throught he’s mind. But I have feelings about how people are. And I have been reading he’s posts.

Edited January 31, 2024 by FastHeart

[FastHeart]

1 hour ago, d0nnivain said:

 

I am a woman.  Women -- as in plural, all of us -- are not stupid overly emotional creatures who lack self discipline.   Individual women may be that but most women I know & spend time with are thoughtful, successful, logical & driven.  They have many accomplishments. 

Love has absolutely nothing to do with being sexually attracted to somebody.  Love grows over time; attraction is instantaneous because it's solely about lust, chemistry, & physical characteristics.  Classic bad boys & consummate players are all about giving women the tingles "down there" as you put it but loving them is pernicious.  Sure the sex may be great but you will end up an emotional mess because they will never love you back.  

The right guy for you is probably going to be someone who is extremely happy & grateful that you waited.  He may also be the type that is judgmental & dismissive of non-virgins.  Don't throw that away lightly after all this time.  

 

So it is important that a girl is virgin. I was in love with a religious guy once. Then people told me the opposite. «Never go for a guy who values women out of they being virgin or not». So this was also a guy I should stay away from. 
 

[Wiseman2]

33 minutes ago, FastHeart said:

 past times I acted hard to get to protect myself. I finally might have met the right. 

Ok. Stop playing hard to get and invite him out. At this point you're creating your own misery. You have your phone in front of you and the power to use it to reach out