My ex is trying to keep me around, despite dumping me...

[christina85]

Hi, I'd like to ask you guys what you think about my ex's behaviour.

 

We broke up almost a couple of months ago, he said he didn't feel the same way for me anymore, but he still really cared about me, and that I deserved someone better. I was pretty devastated, I'm still not over him now. It was my first serious relationship (I'm 19). He's 21 and a total commitmentphobe. We are both at university, and went out for 9 months.

 

The problem is, I want him back, but I can't do the no-contact thing. We're currently in a theatre play together, and the season ends in 3 weeks, but during our breakup we've been seeing each other 3 times a week at rehearsals. He acts toward me exactly like he did while we were going out- complimenting me, checking up on my health and how I'm feeling(I'm diabetic and have been sick lately), and flirting with me. This is fine, because if I can't go out with him, then I'm happy to be friends, because he's got a great personality and he's fun to be around. Now after te play finished I was going to do non-contact- audition for another play, work, and spend the summer with my friends going to the beach etc. But he saw me looking at the audition notice and said if I wanted someone to go to auditions with, he'll come with me. This is strange, coz it's at our university, I'll be fine on my own. He still wanted to come. And he didn't seem to keen on the play, there's only one part for his age group, and it's quite small. Also, he has asked me to be the singer in his rock band, because his lead singer has quit.

 

Why is he trying to keep me around? I doubt he likes me again. He's too commitmentphobic to stay in a relationship- 6 months into ours he freaked out. It seems like he doesn't want me out of his life, and I can't figure out why. We could be friends without him doing all this.

 

Is anyone able to shed some light on his behaviour? I don't know why he wants me to stay around. For him to ask me to sing for his band is pretty big, his guitar-playing is so important to him.

 

Thanks for any input you might have.

 

--Christina