Author Calmandfocused Posted February 10 Author Share Posted February 10 14 hours ago, Weezy1973 said: I suspect the reason might be is that you’re actually sexually attracted to the same types of guys you always were, it’s just you know those guys aren’t good for you so you stay away. So when presented with the other options, there’s just nobody that turns your crank. Kind of like if one for whatever reason loves junk food, but wants to live a healthy lifestyle, they don’t magically grow new tastebuds and love vegetables. They still love junk food; they just know it’s not healthy for them long term. Good point. I considered exactly what you’ve described and it’s difficult to say whether you’re right or not, as I’m rarely attracted to anyone these days. My abuser detector has not been triggered in about 2 years so I can’t ( and neither would I want to) test that theory. I’m not complaining but it’s interesting how I no longer cross paths with them anymore, now I’m no longer easy bait. In the past 6 months or so I’ve been attracted to 2 men. One was the guy discussed earlier in this thread and the other had a booze addiction - I created a thread about him at the time. Neither ended up being a suitable prospect and ended very early on. Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted February 11 Share Posted February 11 On 2/8/2024 at 9:30 AM, Calmandfocused said: Oh my! You are a man! I thought you were a woman. You don’t happen to be single, mid 40s, attractive, emotionally available with your life together do you? ……. 🤩 I’m just kidding. I don’t do long distance either 😂 As others said on here…..I think a problem may be you are attracted to the wrong type where you are driven by a certain type that gives you these problems. The type you said on here might not be what you are going for in terms of profile searching. Change considerable who you date snd what you normally do. im in my early 50s, a male who you could date. I’d probably be a person you pass over by first looks/ appearance on a dating app. Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted February 11 Share Posted February 11 On 2/9/2024 at 5:27 PM, Calmandfocused said: I’ve not been in therapy now for years WM. The point is that she did such a good job on me that I now can’t find anyone at all. 😂 I think you might need more work in how you are finding potential partners. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted February 11 Share Posted February 11 (edited) At the end of the day, we cannot really control who we are attracted to. Sure, while it isn’t easy to avoid these instinctual reactions, you have the power to resist acting on these natural impulses. The good news is that there are plenty of attractive, successful men out there who are also kind, genuine, and not intimidated by success. I don't imagine your success would intimidate them because 1. they won't be threatened because they're not intimidated/insecure about what they have, 2. they won't be judged for not being your equal by you, because they won't see you as being superior to them. Edited February 11 by Alpacalia 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 12 Share Posted February 12 Maybe you're not being selective enough or screening enough if recently you considered dating an alcoholic. Perhaps go in the other direction and be more discriminating about who you allow in your life and near your children. Link to post Share on other sites
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