Xaell Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 In January 2023 I girl aproached me and we started talking and began dating and it was the best relationship of my life. We were like best friends and talked every moment of every day. She was loyal, always available, caring and loving. She even bought me gifts and insisted sometimes to pay for dates. Everything went south though. Firstly she told me she wanted to apply for police and I mentiomed she has too serious heart condition for the intense training since she even faints when running short distance. And she got angry at me for a week Then she wanted goverment funding for university but she would have left to far away for 3 years so I asked her if i cant rather pay for a much better university that is closer and she refused and got angry and kept quiet for 2 weeks. When she came back she accused me of being controlling but I just wanted to maintain the health of the relationship. Then August came and I decided to quit smoking and I cant drive during that time since I faint when having withdrawel. So she stayed far and it meant i cant see her for a month since uber is expensive for the distance, Unfortunately my dad had a bad accident and i needed to drive to take care of my parents so i went back to smoking after 2 weeks and when I told my girlfriend she was upset and began accusing me of not wanting to see her and saying how im always rude, and when say normal things like aski g her to come to me she say im very rude. So she ignored me until half september and left me, then we got back together in half december but barely talked. Suddenly from never aski g monwy she kept always wanting money which amounted to 20k by end january. But she always refused dates and when she was off from work went out with friends instead of me. During the time since we back together she was very rude and mean to me and i was not even allowed to call. The one time we were on a date she ignored me the whole time and was on phone with someone else the whole 2 hours before she wanted to go home. So end january a day after i sent 3000 for doctor for her heart, she left me. 5 days later I hear she has been saving money to contribute to a guy she met last year and dated without telling me. Now shes getting married having saved my money for it, she just came back to be mean and take my money. Yet she kept accusing me of being rude and a bad person when all i did was do everything to make her happy so our relationship can go back to normal. Now I am traumatized, and I do not know if what she did even is criminal. I feel like an empty shell. I have to pass february with an empty bank account and a broken heart. Yet I was accused of being the bad person. Link to post Share on other sites
Kassieee Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 On a positive note, a least you learned a lesson... Right? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 (edited) You started this with *this was the best relationship of your life*. I hope not. You gave her the money so no there is nothing you can do. File this as a lesson learned. I'm sorry it sucks but we always learn our best life lesson the hard way. Edited February 6 by Gaeta Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 What on earth? No one forced you to give her thousands and thousands of dollars, you chose to do that. Why would you give her all that money when the relationship was not even going well and you were having all these problems with her? Take responsibility for the poor decisions that you made, and learn to make better ones. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 5 hours ago, Xaell said: I do not know if what she did even is criminal Of course it's not criminal for her to accept your money. Just like if I "loaned" a "friend" 20k and didn't hear back from them, that would be my own poor decision-making. Sorry, but you made a whole string of bad decision after bad decision after bad decision. Learn from it, wise up, and you'll be better off for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 (edited) Don't blame yourself for wanting to make your loved one happy, but be aware of the signs of emotional manipulation in future relationships. It's natural to have concerns about your her career and education choices, but be careful not to impose your opinions on her. You wanting to stay clean and safe for her in the long term and your dad's accident are more than fair reasons to ask your girlfriend for empathy, understanding, help and some patience. Regardless of her reasoning, it is not your responsibility to financially support or fix someone else's problems in a relationship. Take this as a lesson to be more cautious and mindful in future relationships. Edited February 6 by Alpacalia Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 I feel so sorry for you if that was your best relationship You were out of it more than you were in it. The $3000 is gone. It wasn't a crime. It was a gift for your then GF. You stomped on 2 of her dreams. Maybe she would not have made it through the police academy but you needed to let her try. Your view of the best university wasn't hers. You were not supportive of what she wanted. I'm sorry you are hurt. Give it some time. Process the break up & move forward in your life. Perhaps see a doctor so you can quit smoking without fainting. That sounds very problematic. Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted February 10 Share Posted February 10 When you were together you didn't see here for a month because Uber is expensive, but then after you got back together and she clearly wasn't treating you like a partner, you gave her 23k in the space of just over a month? There are several lessons for you to learn here! It really sucks that you've been treated this way, but I don't believe she's done anything criminal (perhaps depending on what she said to get the money from you) Link to post Share on other sites
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