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RandallHare

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RandallHare

RandallHare

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I read a post where a woman made a long list for a possible partner... I think I'm going to do it too, just a guide for me... but I won't make this list absolute... just a guide. :)

 

1. Compatibility/Chemistry/Intellectual Stimulation

2. Financial Stability

3. Location is Near/Accessibility

4. Same Interests

5. An Artist is a Plus

6. Can Still Bear Children

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Alpacalia

Alpacalia

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Cute list. Can still bear children gave me a chuckle. Maybe "can have future children together" would be more polite. 😉

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Alpacalia

Alpacalia

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Not offensive, just old-fashioned. 🙂

You're looking for a partner to share your life with and would like to have children with, not just a baby-making machine.

Your list, your choice of words.

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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It's find.  "lists" only get people in trouble when they are too specific -- must be 5'6, weigh 128.6 lbs, have green eyes & auburn hair; must be employed as a _____________; & have graduated from [specific school] on [exact date] with a 3.7 GPA.   

Your list is more of a set of standards & personality traits with a bit of an age cap which is presumably the age range you are in. 

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Alpacalia

Alpacalia

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Very much.

These dancers are amazing to watch...

The music (Samba) is very upbeat and I can understand why you enjoy it!

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Alpacalia

Alpacalia

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Maybe you'd enjoy some dance classes? I've taken salsa, ballet, hip hop... even tap dancing before, and I always had a great time and learning new choreography. And who knows, you might discover a different genre that you're fond of!

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RandallHare

RandallHare

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13 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

Maybe you'd enjoy some dance classes? I've taken salsa, ballet, hip hop... even tap dancing before, and I always had a great time and learning new choreography. And who knows, you might discover a different genre that you're fond of!

Tap Dancing seems a lot of fun. I’m not sure but I think it’s usually paired with 1920s jazz. I see it a lot on old videos 😊

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Alpacalia

Alpacalia

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1 minute ago, RandallHare said:

Tap Dancing seems a lot of fun. I’m not sure but I think it’s usually paired with 1920s jazz. I see it a lot on old videos 😊

See the jazz thing, I have a hard time following. The sounds seem almost discordant to me and I can’t pick up the tempo or direction of the song; almost makes me feel anxious. heehee

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Alpacalia

Alpacalia

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Tap is challenging because your feet are your instrument. You have to use them in very unique ways to create rhythmic patterns and sounds. It takes a lot of coordination, precision, and practice to master tap dancing.

I fumbled many times it was so hard I couldn't get past five minutes without taking a breather. 

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RandallHare

RandallHare

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My mum loves dancing so much. She’s nearly 70 but still dances like she’s 45. Maybe I’ll join her soon and see if dancing 🕺 is for me 😅

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Alpacalia

Alpacalia

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Just now, RandallHare said:

My mum loves dancing so much. She’s nearly 70 but still dances like she’s 45. Maybe I’ll join her soon and see if dancing 🕺 is for me 😅

Awe, that's so awesome. Go Mom! Yes, do it :) 

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RandallHare

RandallHare

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There’s one thing I truly wanna learn though — Magic Mike dancing style! But I’m not sure 🤔 if I’d still be date material if I dance sexy 😅

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RandallHare

RandallHare

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By the way, I can’t seem to send private messages to you. I wonder where we can chat more. You kinda interest me 😅

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Alpacalia

Alpacalia

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I appreciate your interest, but I think you have to have a certain number of posts to be able to message on this forum. Plus, I am not looking to have children (🤗)

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Ami1uwant

Ami1uwant

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1 hour ago, RandallHare said:

I read a post where a woman made a long list for a possible partner... I think I'm going to do it too, just a guide for me... but I won't make this list absolute... just a guide. :)

 

1. Compatibility/Chemistry/Intellectual Stimulation

2. Financial Stability

3. Location is Near/Accessibility

4. Same Interests

5. An Artist is a Plus

6. Can Still Bear Children


 

When it comes to relations there are two parts….

 

the core part…these are things that are cut and dry like wanting kids, religion, core beliefs, some diet/ lifestyle  choices ( if you are vegan you must have a vegan, if you are a pet lover they must be too) ,   compatibility for a long term relationship.

 

then there are the nice things to have—. Some common interests or hobbies, , where they live, long term goals. Some of these could move up to core values because an interest could be the core you are as a person where it’s not just a hobby but later in life it coukd be a second career.

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Lotsgoingon

Lotsgoingon

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More than lists, seems to me the most important thing for finding a good partner is the ability to say no without guilt and torment.

Meaning, you go out with someone and it doesn't feel right, you say "No, I'm sorry." And you stop going out. 

You're a month in a romance, two months, three months ... six months ... a year ... and things aren't right, you step up and say that you don't feel good and you put the issues on the table. And you see if you can work them out or you exit. Can't tell you the number of divorced people I've met who confessed that even while walking down the aisle, they harbored severe doubts, sometimes utter convictions that marrying was not going to work out. But hey, I don't want to hurt their feelings. Hey, I'm 30 and need to settle down. I've invited all these people. I can't cancel now. (Total B.S. you never get married because you don't want to disappoint invitees.) 

The ability to say no means you can out into the world and meet all kinds of people and see how you feel with them, knowing you are not going to be "trapped" by going out a few times (or longer) with someone.  And you develop a fine-tuned intuition about who is good for you or might be good for you--that you can use in addition to any lists. 

 

 

 

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