Delayed response

[robaday]

A couple of years ago, I found myself in a toxic work environment. I'd been unemployed for a period earlier and so was desperate to not only keep the role but to excel in it. Quite early on I could see there were staff shortages which would impact my role, as more people left, more work was piled on me - some of which I was not qualified for. I did the only thing I knew how which was to increase the number of hours I was putting in.  Until after 18 months of this, I began to experience a mental, and then physical decline - by the time I quit I was covering four positions.  Over the next two months, my concentration went, my anxiety shot up, and I recall falling over one day because my leg had given way. I had become sick, was going to bed wired, but was barely able to stay engaged in a conversation. I resigned, but saw out my notice without taking a sick day nor going to a dr.

I slowly built my health back. Started eating properly and working out again. Took a more junior role with another company, which was far less stressful. And on the whole I made a dramatic recovery. Mentally I tried to stay as far away from that dark place I escaped from, with my life, just about intact so did not go to a dr, I wanted to see how I was after taking a good break. 

But looking back, and not knowing what I know now, I had all the signs of a stroke. My face went numb one day and I was getting chest pains and experiencing paranoia. I never went to a dr, nor took a sick day.

Until today, perhaps now I am better mentally, I have started to think about my health during that period, and to be honest I am terrified about how much damage I might have endured. When I was in the midst of it, I just got on with it, knew something was very badly wrong but put it down to burnout, toxicity around me, and anxiety. 

I've booked myself to see a specialist next week. I want to find out if there is a way of tracing if I had a stroke back then. And also how I can control my anxiety when in the next situation that is as stressful. I am not even sure if they can diagnose it, but for the first time in my life I am scared even though what happened, happened several years back. 

[Wiseman2]

Excellent idea to see a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health and get some tests done. This way you know more about your baseline health and what you can do to improve your physical and mental health. You could also ask for a referral to a licensed qualified therapist for ongoing support. 

[Alpacalia]

Yes, it's possible that you had a stroke during that time period. Definitely bring this up with a specialist and see if they can do any tests or imaging to confirm it. This is a warning sign that your physical and mental health is very important and should not be ignored. Hopefully, with some lifestyle changes and treatment, you can manage your anxiety and stay healthy in the future. Take care.

[robaday]

Thank you, I appreciate your replies, it means a lot. Like I mentioned I have been feeling good, and am grateful I got out when I did, but it definitely took its toll, I look quite a lot older than I should and am wary of taking another high stress job. Part of me doesn't want to know, I seem to have gotten away with it, but if it was a stroke then I need to find out whether its something that might affect me down the line, not today, not tomorrow but in a few years.