Figuring out what I want

[Els]

19 hours ago, mario_C said:

I have a detailed spreadsheet! I've learned to save and to work towards these goals. It's always uphill, but I'll keep at it. What else am I gonna do?

That's great! Maybe you could see where you could cut down or get a bit of extra income in, and then set a goal to have a 3-month deposit plus some emergency funds (in case you need them in the future after you move out) stashed away by X date? A tip that I've found useful is to have a separate savings account that you don't withdraw from except for absolute emergencies, and you can slowly fill that up. I'm not sure about where you live, but here there are a lot of free/nominally-priced financial advice classes (by actual financial advisors, not just random youtubers) that people can attend.

I'm sure you can do it. Most people, even those on minimum wage, have to pay rent, so if you're not paying rent you already have a huge leg up in terms of savings potential.

[d0nnivain]

On 2/29/2024 at 7:58 PM, mario_C said:

So I came to a moment of clarity. I know that I just don't deserve love or affection or closeness because I'm a loser. It's obvious.

But everyday I fight it. I work on making my life meaningful every day. Doesn't that count? Could I deserve somebody one day?

Probably not. But if I give up I couldn't give on.

Your negativity is getting the best of you.  I have the same problem.  You need to focus on the good things in your life.  Create a gratitude journal.  Every morning when you wake up write down 3 things you are grateful for.  They don't have to be profound but they have to be good things.   My dog makes my list a lot; in winter my down comforter & heated mattress pad also make the list.   Every night before you go to bed, write down 3 more things.  Try to come up with different things each day.  Once per week read the list.  Doing this helps change your world view from negative to positive.  

You say you need more money & you wonder if another degree will help.  It won't.  If you are self employed the degree doesn't matter.  Don't waste your money.  Instead invest in yourself.  You need to figure out how to make your business more profitable.   If you are in the US, check out two groups designed to help you grow your business:   SBDC & SCORE.  The Small Business Development Centers are an offshoot of the SBA.  They off no or low cost ($15) classes about business plans, marketing plans, financial management, using quickbooks etc.    SCORE is a group of retired executives who offer classes, workshops & personal mentors to help you.