Toni_no12002 Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 Hi well everyone probably knows about my stupid problems with my boyfriend looking at other women and bla bla bla.Im going to counselling and he says that i have anxiety.Im confused.I know its a fear from something but if i get upset about my boyfriend looking at other women is that what im scared of?Im confused he didnt exactly explain very well. He says if i exercise more to stop th anxiety ill be more chilled out etc but i dont understand how that will stop me being jelous!grrr Link to post Share on other sites
brittanyjean259 Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 dont let him know your jealous, if he looks at another girl...dont even let it sweat you...he will find that really attractive... there is a good book you should read..." why men love bitches"...not just about jealousy but it is a good book!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toni_no12002 Posted November 11, 2005 Author Share Posted November 11, 2005 lol Sometmes i wish i was a bitch maybe that way i wouldnt give a toss about anyone else or there feelings.Thing is im not like that and i do care.God damn me lol im a pain! Link to post Share on other sites
brittanyjean259 Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 well when that book said" bitch"...it meens some one who is just really strong, and is confident enough! Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 seems like he feels that your anxieties are creating stress, and the stress can be alleviated by exercise. re: your fear ~ is it because you feel that maybe your BF's head will turn away from you completely if he looks at other gals? Is it because he's dumped you or had an affair while with you and you're subconciously thinking he's going to do it again each and every time you catch him looking at other chicks? Are you insecure with your personality, and feel "something better" will lead him astray? none of what you're feeling is unusual, if that makes you feel a bit better ~ I think we've all been through that to some degree at some point in our lives. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toni_no12002 Posted November 12, 2005 Author Share Posted November 12, 2005 To be honest i think im scared of him liking other women better than me.I dont think much of myself so maybe thats why.Hes a quiet person infront of most people but because we are setting my mate and his mate up hes talking to my friend alot more.Texting here and putting kisses at the end.The other day he had a lay in and was in bed until 10 because he wasnt at work until 11.I found out that he woke up at 9.30 and text my mate then went back to sleep for half an hour.Also we was in a pub the other day me my boyfriend my friend and his friend and my mate starting talking just after me to him but he choose to completetly ignore me and listen to her.I told him afterwards that i felt invisible because he totally blanked me but i cant help but feel hes getting feelings for her.This may all sound petty i know! I do sort of have a reason hes insecure himself and he said he was jelous of his mate rob because he always gets attention from girls.Im scared maybe he will begin to like my friend from this and get jelous she likes his mate and not him.Am i being stupid? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 and he says that i have anxiety.Im confused.I know its a fear from something but if i get upset about my boyfriend looking at other women is that what im scared of?Im confused he didnt exactly explain very well. Here's the thing. Anxiety is a physical feeling. You feel anxious and scared - so you look around for a reason and find something you think might be the reason and go AHA - I KNOW what's making me anxious. Trouble is that the anxiety is coming from your brain, not necessarily having anything to do with what's going on in the world. Our emotions are essentially controlled by our chemicals. Too much of one thing and you're out of emotional balance. i think im scared of him liking other women better than me This is illogical. If he wanted someone else, he'd be with someone else. What you have to understand is that first of all you need to do whatever the doctor tells you to do to deal with the anxiety. Secondly, you have to talk to the counsellor about this. The fact is that if you allow this fear to govern your behaviour (as you already do trying to not allow him to look at people on a screen), you will make him leave, not because he likes other people better but because you are no fun to live with. This is why you must pay attention to the doctor. And if you don't understand what you've been told, ask for clarification. Link to post Share on other sites
brittanyjean259 Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 i used to have really bad anxiety problems, but i reframed my mind and it helped alot. you have to love your self completey before ever loving anyone else, so dont be insecure try to love your self... could those be "red flags"...of him contionously talking to your mate? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toni_no12002 Posted November 13, 2005 Author Share Posted November 13, 2005 I do understand that if i carry on he will leave but i am trying to get help.It just upsets me that he looked at other people like that.To me being naked with him was a big deal but obviously to him it wasnt as he looked at hundreds of naked women every night. Link to post Share on other sites
brittanyjean259 Posted November 13, 2005 Share Posted November 13, 2005 than you should think about who your spending your time with..... that would get to me really really bad, guys should control there eyes... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toni_no12002 Posted November 14, 2005 Author Share Posted November 14, 2005 The thing is i dont want to avoid my friends just because im scared hes looking at them which ive seen him do even though he denies it.It annoys me!I went out the other night with him and my mate and my boyfriends mate(my mate and his are getting together).The first thing he does when we meet is look at her and look her up and down.I dopnt even know why i bother trying to make myself look nice when he seems more interested in everyone else! Link to post Share on other sites
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