Confusion

[Snicker]

I was volunteering at a local event (5 days total set up event and clean up)and met a Beautiful young lady that I was not really interested in just thought it was great to joke with but did have a little interest but not a big one. Well as the event went on I was giving her a ride home adn picking her up. Well the second to last day for some odd reason I ask her if I would be a guy she would date with her response being I would have to think about that and that was the end of that till the next day when we worked together on clean up and then at the end of the clean up we went for a ride to the beach and walked and talked than after we went our own ways till the evening when I called her and she was not home but she returns my call adn asks if I want to go out that evening so I did. Well we went to a movie and while walking in she kissed me and than after the movie says that her answert to the following days question would be Yes and that I should try to ask now and so I did . Great part thing is I am now scared of losing her even though it has been only like 4 days since that I am enjoying her so much that I don't want to lose her and don't know what to do. I have bought her many things like 2 stuffed animals and a card took her to the movies helped her get a interview at a job that she wants largely (I do work there) and will do anything but am not sure what to do next Please help me because I am confused adn don't want to lose the girl.

[Tony T]

YOU WRITE: ". I have bought her many things like 2 stuffed animals and a card took her to the movies helped her get a interview at a job that she wants largely (I do work there) and will do anything but am not sure what to do next Please help me because I am confused adn don't want to lose the girl."

 

You are way too desperate and you're going to lose this girl. There is a problem with someone who has known a lady about a week being so afraid of losing her. You get attached way too fast. You may need psychological counselling for this. A normal guy would think it would be unfortunate to lose somebody that new but certainly not the end of the world.

 

Now, because of your willingness to do anything for this girl, buying her stuffed animals, cards, helping her get a job, etc. you are being way too nice, way too predictable, way too sickeningly open with your feelings to have this girl think much of you beyond a good buddy. You'll be lucky if she doesn't just start taking advantage of your butt.

 

When a guy is this nice right up front, a lady will usually get suspicious of his motives...or wonder why he is so desperate...wonder what his self esteem level is...wonder why he is such a pushover...and, most of all, she will be extremely sorry that he is not a challenge because that's what she wants. She will usually puke a lot, too.

 

So I urge you to get off this kick of doing things for her. Yes, be nice. Go out of your way every few months with the small gifts, cards, etc. But doing stuff like that in the first week of dating somebody is downright suicide. OH, my GAWD!!!

 

Try to look into yourself and discover why you are so insecure, so desperate, and so willing to go all out on somebody's behalf. My guess is that you have done this before with ladies and they have shoved it up your butt. You must learn from history.

 

The less you care whether this girl likes you, leaves you, sticks around, or moves to China...THE MORE SHE WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER. That's just the way it is!!!

[chick]

whoa! slow down!! sounds like you are going a little overboard with this lady. be sure you don't overcrowd her or invade her space too much....that can be an instant turn off. just relax for now! you are more likely to lose her the way you are going. you say you are enjoying her company.....well, continue to enjoy it and stop worrying about the future. live in the present. if this relationship doesn't work out, then you can cross that bridge when you come to it....deal with the problem when or if it happens. don't stress yourself out about something that may not even happen, if you get my drift!!

 

she sounds keen, so she obviously enjoys your company too. but you don't want to come across as a psycho stalker, so just take it easy on the gifts for now. there's nothing wrong with showing her you are interested and generally being a nice guy, but should the relationship develop further, all the excitement and spontaneity will have vanished already!! my advice....take it easy, and do your best to get over your insecurities about losing her. a desperate, co-dependant, overcrowding guy isn't a good look.