smile95 Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 Once someone is diagnosed with cancer and it has spread to 3 different organs, how long do they usually have. The Dr will not specualte and can only knowmore if she has more tests and she is done with being poked at. Anyone know? I tried to look online and imagine it is different for all, but once it spreads, it sounds like bad news......anyone have knowledge about this? They already said they cannot treat it, so I assume that means it is just a metter of time? Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 Doesn't sound like good news... all you can do is hope, and prepare for the inevitable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted November 11, 2005 Author Share Posted November 11, 2005 I know....I almost would rather not have been told...now it is just like I am waiting onpins and needles for it to happen. UGH I guess all I can do is spend as much time with her as possible. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 Dr's don't normally guess those options anymore because of lawsuits and truthfully they don't know because they don't see patients die anymore.. It is the hospice people that know those things.. My dad died of lung cancer and secondary brain cancer and he died within 4 months of diag.. My step mother died of lung cancer and secondary brain cancer and she lived 2.5 years after diag.. So you never can tell.. every one is different... It all depends on the type of cancer .. How fast it grows and how embedded it is in the organs..and what types of treatment are given.. aggressive or not I think that if you do reasearch on the stages/grades on the different types of cancers you will get a good idea as to what to expect in timeframes Ie: stage 3b lung cancer has only 12 % living longer than 3 years If you do those type of research and find out what stage they are in you should get an idea.. I'm sorry... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 My father died of lung cancer, was diganosed in late '91 had portion of his lung removed, did chemo/radiation. It came back and I know this sounds awful (probably blocked it) but I can't remember now when he was re-diagnosed. He did some more chemo and then it wasn't working. He died July '93. A_C I'm sorry for your losses, and Beth, I'm sorry for what you are going through and have to deal with. It's not easy but it does really help to try to keep positive. I know how hard that is, unfortunately. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted November 11, 2005 Author Share Posted November 11, 2005 thanks everyone... we did not even know she had it until 3 days ago after a cat scan....it started in her colon(from what the dr can tell) and already in her liver, lungs, and fluid in her heart. And she gets blood transfusions and in a week, it is gone...somewhere? Hospice is coming in to talk to her....I respect that she does not want any more tests done, but selfishly, I want her to be treated to have her here longer. But I would rather her go before she is in any pain...right now, she is in very little. Scary that she has been to the dr so many times to figure all this out and after 4 diff drs they NOW find cancer?????Frustrating. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 They usually only put someone in hospice if they are within a few weeks of death so if they are planning to take this person now, it's not a very good prognosis, I'm afraid. She might make it to Christmas - people sometimes manage to marshall their strength long enough to last through a significant event. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted November 11, 2005 Author Share Posted November 11, 2005 oh geez....someone told me 6 months to live is when Hospice comes in......I like the 6 months better than a few weeks. It is unbelieveable how fast this all happened! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 oh geez....someone told me 6 months to live is when Hospice comes in......I like the 6 months better than a few weeks. It is unbelieveable how fast this all happened! The hospice caretakers can let you know how long Beth.. Just pull them aside and ask them.. They will know.. Hospice normally comes in in the last month or so..But it does depend on the situation.. But like outcast said.. the holidays can keep them going.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted November 11, 2005 Author Share Posted November 11, 2005 My sister is getting married in May and she joked(before she knew she was sick) and said"I hope I make it that long"...not so funny anymore....she wanted more than anything to be there....I doubt she can hang on that long. I am just glad she does not have to be in a nursing home. That was one thing she never wanted and we never wanted to have to do. I wonder what woud have happened if we never had the cat scan? Would the casue of death have shown cancer? If you do not have signs of cancer, how do you know you have it??? She had none and not it has spread so far? THanks everyone for helping out...it is my grandma so it is hard to ask questions to my mom since it upsets her....and I do not want to make her any more sad. Suddenly my issues seem so small. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 ****Hugs**** Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted November 11, 2005 Author Share Posted November 11, 2005 ****Hugs**** Thanks...and here I thought you hated me AC! I appreciate that.... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 Thanks...and here I thought you hated me AC! I appreciate that.... Aww, silly! A_C doesn't hate anybody. Hugs to you as well... Sorry again that you all have to go through this. As awful as this sounds, what is going on in your life right now will bring your family closer and you'll become a stronger person. Spend some special time with her, make her feel loved and at a peace. Do nice things for your mom too, I'm sure if she doesn't say it, she will appreciate it more than you'll ever know... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 Thanks...and here I thought you hated me AC! I appreciate that.... shoot No... me wuvs ya... I'm just a tough love kinda guy Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted November 11, 2005 Author Share Posted November 11, 2005 is that your dog??? How cute! Just took my Mom to dinner. I agree with you that it will bring us closer. And it makes you appreciate family so much more. And life in general. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted November 12, 2005 Author Share Posted November 12, 2005 art-what happ to the Narcissist thread? It is gone? Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 Sorry to hear that Beth.. My next door neighbor was diagonosed with lung cancer and he lived only 4 months ..He took treatment but it was in its last stages and it was too late and yes it affected his breathing an eventually his heart got bad and keep tach so yes i think cancer eventually when it gets in its last stages can affect the major organs it did for him as well as my dad ..My neighbor smoked for 58 yrs and never thought it was bad and never wanted to quit and finally wanted to once it was too hard to breathe!! Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 they gave my friend 2 months and she lived 8... Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted November 12, 2005 Author Share Posted November 12, 2005 I know that when they start to lose their appetite and sleep a lot, that is a sign that they are going even more downhill. Are there any other sign that you all have experienced? I talked to her last night and it was a great conversation and she was joking and then at the end, she cried and asked me why this was happening to her? She put God #1 and prayed all the time and did not know why this happened to her....I could not say anything but I loved her....I could hardly talk ...we were both crying....I guess there is no answer. God never guaranteed us a good death or that we would live forever, just that we have heaven to look fwd to. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 Going in and out of consciousness - It's more than just sleeping. Though with my father he did have his "alert" times and the day he died, that morning he was so with it and talkative. It's like he knew it was about to happen and we got to spend the day together as a family talking, before he died that night. I will tell you, it was the hardest and most emotional thing I've ever experienced, we were all there in the room when he died. Afterwards there is a feeling a peace, yet filled with alot of loss and sorrow. For my mom, my family and myself... All I can say enjoy the time spent together now, laugh abit too. Don't feel ever feel guilty for laughing and being silly. She'll appreciate that too. My Aunt died last year and those few days I got to spend time with her were really special. She died of cancer as well - It was fast but her time to go as her husband died the year before and she had other ailments...She'd lived a full life, children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews - SO I think in her case she gave up and didn't want to fight it anymore. She's at peace now, I believe that. There is no "good" death, but what may make it easier is the closeness and bond you feel with her as she feels for you - That stays with you forever. Hugs again, WWIU Link to post Share on other sites
FataMorgana Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 I will tell you, it was the hardest and most emotional thing I've ever experienced, we were all there in the room when he died. Afterwards there is a feeling a peace, yet filled with alot of loss and sorrow. For my mom, my family and myself... All I can say enjoy the time spent together now, laugh abit too. Don't feel ever feel guilty for laughing and being silly. She'll appreciate that too. My Aunt died last year and those few days I got to spend time with her were really special. She died of cancer as well - It was fast but her time to go as her husband died the year before and she had other ailments...She'd lived a full life, children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews - SO I think in her case she gave up and didn't want to fight it anymore. She's at peace now, I believe that. There is no "good" death, but what may make it easier is the closeness and bond you feel with her as she feels for you - That stays with you forever. Hugs again, WWIU Great advice as always WWIU! Reading your post brought tears in my eyes as I went through similar with my mother like you with your father. sorry to hear the bad news beth, take care and hugs from me too. Use the time left the best way that you can cause that's all that you will have left in the years to come. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted November 13, 2005 Author Share Posted November 13, 2005 Great advice as always WWIU! Reading your post brought tears in my eyes as I went through similar with my mother like you with your father. sorry to hear the bad news beth, take care and hugs from me too. Use the time left the best way that you can cause that's all that you will have left in the years to come. thanks to all of you! I guess there is nothing more I can do but make her happy now. My parents see her every three days or so and see the decline each time.....I pray she makes it thru Christmas. Link to post Share on other sites
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