Need advice from women on dealing with girlfriends ex

[Mike]

I'm not sure what to do. I don't know if it's over, or if it can be salvaged. My girlfriend is having a hard time letting go of her ex of 2 years. It's been approximately 6 mo. since they broke up but she thinks about him a lot, compares me to him, and even has told me that she has almost called me his name. She swears that she doesn't want him back, just the friendship but it's getting in the way of our relationship. The other night we were having sex and she "fell" out of the mood because she started to think about him. I am tired of hearing about him and think that she is just too proud to admit that she wants him back. What do you think? What should I do?

[WGirl]

That definitely is not good if your gf is still not over her ex. It sounds like she got involved with you before she was really ready to start a new relationship. I hate to say it but it sounds like she is still longing for him. I don't know if I could deal somebody if they were still that into their ex. I can't imaging doing that somebody all the time. It isn't really fair to you. Maybe you should take a break until she figures out who she really wants to be with, him or you?

I'm not sure what to do. I don't know if it's over, or if it can be salvaged. My girlfriend is having a hard time letting go of her ex of 2 years. It's been approximately 6 mo. since they broke up but she thinks about him a lot, compares me to him, and even has told me that she has almost called me his name. She swears that she doesn't want him back, just the friendship but it's getting in the way of our relationship. The other night we were having sex and she "fell" out of the mood because she started to think about him. I am tired of hearing about him and think that she is just too proud to admit that she wants him back. What do you think? What should I do?

[chick]

oh-oh! sounds like you've got yourself someone on the rebound!! she obviously still has some feelings for ex, and i don't think she is being completely honest with you about that. she isn't being at all fair on you. for her to be thinking about him all the time, especially during sex, must be very hurtful for you. she just sounds very confused at the moment, and maybe the best thing you can do for her is to give her some space. she needs to get herself sorted out. she may have rushed into a relationship with you before she was ready.

 

if you really care about this girl and about your relationship, i think you should give her the time and space she needs to work out her feelings. if you're not so keen on her, then just let it drop. how can you continue a relationship with someone who constantly has another person on their mind??? don't just think this situation will improve with time, chances are she needs to be on her own for a while. this must be ever so frustrating for you. she has issues, and it's not fair of her to be putting them on you when you shouldn't have to be dealing with this situation. my advice? do yourselves both a favour and give the relationship a break. it's never going to work the way it is. good luck to you and keep us posted.

[sparkle]

I think you should tell her that if you hear ONE MORE WORD about her ex, it will be OVER between the two of you.

 

Spell it out for her. O-V-E-R!!!

 

Actually, I would just dump her butt now without even giving her one more chance. I would never want to listen to my partner talk about his ex, talk about the friendship they want, or compare me to the person. And there is no way in hell I'd stay with my partner if they're thinking about their ex while having sex with me.

 

That is just one of those things she should never have mentioned. I wonder why she did though...what is WRONG with her???

 

So what should you do? Break up with her and find a girl who isn't having problems getting over her ex. But if you can't see yourself breaking up with her now, give her ONE more chance. Just one. Tell her that if she mentions him again, you will be out the door.

 

And mean it.

[Mike]

Well, you all seem to think the same thing. Wheather it be break-up or space, bottom line is we need some time apart. I was thinking the same but just didn't want to believe it. I've been having my doubts but everything was going so well. How can things change just like that? I want to believe that she's been weird because of the new pressures of work and other things, or is that just my way of trying to convince myself that nothing is wrong? One of you asked why she would even tell me, I think it's partly my fault as I knew something was wrong and pressed her to tell me, she really didn't want to. Any suggestions on how to put space between us without actually ending everything? I'd like to give her a chance to sort herself out as I care about her deeply. Ideas, comments,anything...